     s$
     $$     .d""b. .d""b.                  HOE E'ZINE #1103
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     $$  $$ $$  $$ $$ss$$                   "What Kids Do"
     $$  $$ $$  $$ $$                          by pl0nk
     $$  $$ $$  $$ $$  $$                      06/28/00
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     $$  $$ "TssT" "TssT"

 *STOMP* *STOMP* *STOMP* *YELLING*
 We know you guys are down there!
 Come out and play with us!
 *ECHOING*

 Where are these so called Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?
 Why do they never answer us?

 We're the product of the mislead 60-70's generation.

 Dear Miss Mary Poppins,

	I feel nothing but hate for you and your movie. Not only has
 my child drugged himself on cough syrup, he has also taken my 
 umbrella, and he has jumped off of our roof and broken his neck. I hope
 you are happy. You've manipulated my son into thinking he can fly.
 I hope you die on your own cough medicine and when you're flying on your
 umbrella a gust of Dorothy's tornado comes and blows you to wonderland.
					
						Yours Truly,
							Mrs. Mackenzie

 Those shrooms, ohh, those small little bite sized shrooms, Alice took 
 them and where did she end up? A closet freak for the rest of her days,
 time taken out of her life to look in the mirror. 

 What are you looking at? Are you talking to me? 

 Of course not, because all I see is myself.
 My eyes diluted and views distorted. 

 What's todays special?

 Today we have an assortment of fine foods, I'll start by reading you
 the specials and we'll see where we get from there.
 Would you be interested in:

 A mouse named muffy, or perhaps a security guard named Sam. 
 EAT THE HAT, kill the dummy. no more dancing and no more singing!
 Sorry, pardon me, I happen to have torretts syndrome.

 Polka dot door and that big stupid pokearu guy. DIE DIE DIE

 Those are the main dishes.  Perhaps I could interest you in some
 appetizers before you decide on the main corse.  We have these amazing
 Killer Tomatoes, not to be confused with the movie.  They've been around
 for a couple seasons, but is slowly disappearing because of James Bond Jr.

 Maybe you'd like some Spidermen? Or how about the Thunder Cats...
 if Asians can eat cat, why can't we?

 Ohhh, you think you will be eating somewhere else?  Here, let me see you
 to the exit.  The clock says its time to close now, I guess I better
 close now.

 I dare you to climb that cause I bet any money you can't climb that...
 How much you wanna bet? 
 A million dollars I swear I have it
 ok........ I'm at the top now, where's my money?
 what money?
 your not going to pay me!!! fuck you!! how am i supposed to get down?
 it's a willow tree, use the vines to swing down like tarzan
 ohhh ok .... thump..... owwww cry cry cry wine wine wine my back is broken
 no its not, your fine
 i can't breath, im dieing, my backs broken
 get up your fine, you only fell about 10 feet... 
 
 if your wondering, all these stories are true.

 dood, ever wonder why they call it seven eleven? 
 no, man.
 ya, me neither.

 grandfather why don't you smoke regular cigarettes instead of those
 non-filtered kind? because its like sucking a tit through a sweater son. ohh
 ok thanks grandpa. dad why do you suck tits through sweaters? 

 *ring**ring*   picking up * hello you've reached the answering machine of
 the Dicinhers please leave a message at the beep... *BEEP*

 hello my children-ah, its revern Cole speaking-ah, i have noticed that in
 row five-ah, your pueith-ah has been empty for quiet some time-ah.
 why would you deny the lord your faith-ah, PICK UP THE FUCKING PHONE
 YOU FUCKING JEWS-ah before I come down there and throw the mighty book
 of god upon you!.......... long pause............

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 [ (c) HOE E'ZINE -- http://www.hoe.nu       HOE #1103, BY PL0NK - 6/28/00 ]
