82 lines
5.6 KiB
Plaintext
82 lines
5.6 KiB
Plaintext
þáGâþ
|
|
þThe árotherhood of Gíds and âetardsþ
|
|
Presents:
|
|
"Making Life in the Mall Hell..."
|
|
|
|
|
|
I hate the mall. I hate it right to the core of my being, I hate the
|
|
annoying yuppee and preppie families wandering around in it, I hate the smell
|
|
that it emits, I hate almost everything about the mall...I am miserable when
|
|
I am in it so I have devised methods to make everyone else in there miserable
|
|
too...Have of this guide goes out to my friend õesse, who together we have made
|
|
the mall near my house a living hell...
|
|
Ok, malls are mostly boring and superficial places, that when realized of
|
|
their potential can be quite a bit of fun...Of course you will need some
|
|
materials before hand:Stink Bombs, I myself use ammonium sulfide brand, they
|
|
are quite a bit cheaper and easier to find. You can buy these in most magic
|
|
shops or joke shops, and I have even found some in Spencers. These little
|
|
babies can cause so much fun it's incredible, but you will need to realize
|
|
some things first:the smell ordinarily lasts only about a minute, but like
|
|
everything that can change. Ok, my favorite place to unleash these foul
|
|
little beuties is in the most expensive clothing store I can find...Go, try on
|
|
a pair of some jeans and why you are in the changing room bust one by stepping
|
|
on it or throwing it as hard as you can against a wall...next clear out of
|
|
there, and head across the isle...from their watch the people come flying out
|
|
of the dressing rooms, holding their noses and saying stuff like "Good god!"
|
|
These little tricks are fun to use in an arcade, nothing is quite as amusing
|
|
as watching the manager as all his customers leave...Other favorite target
|
|
places are in the elevator...now the trick to effective use of these is this:
|
|
It can only be within a fairly enclosed area so the smell doesn't drift off.
|
|
I use garbage which are highly effective, and in the two places I mentioned
|
|
above the smell tends to linger.
|
|
Now onto a new insturment of hell:gum. Gum can be used in the most interesting
|
|
of ways while you are in a mall..Like, smack some on the escalator...if it's
|
|
a big gob it will usually get caught near the bottom and stretched over three
|
|
or four steps before coming back around. It's also fun to smack some on pay
|
|
phones and coin slots, or just about anything else you can find...or here is
|
|
one of my absolute favorites...go back into that little hall near the mall
|
|
bathrooms, now if you are in a decent sized mall there should be a number of
|
|
doors that aren't bathrooms leading off from that hall...some are to stores
|
|
but some may be to important places...the one I always gob is the door that
|
|
says "Security Office"...it's a riot to see mall security have to call a lock
|
|
smith. Tampa Bay Center, one of the malls near where I live is quite a rich
|
|
mall, having a carasouel in it...I like to squish a gob on the something like
|
|
a pink pony, or something you know someone will probably sit on..It helps tho
|
|
if the gum's color corresponds with the rides color...i.e.banana on yellow
|
|
strawberry on red, etcetera. Gum and the like is sooo fun when placed in the
|
|
hands of hoodlum...
|
|
Next up, this trick you will need a mall with two stories...Most malls have
|
|
these cheap little booths setup for people who are too lazy to rent out a store.
|
|
These carts are victims in the waiting. Some of them sell foodstuffs, like
|
|
ice cream or yogurt, or some sell fudge...These are what you need to find,
|
|
and if you find one within good range you will need something that is absolutely
|
|
inedible...I usually use chili-powder for ammo when nothing else is available.
|
|
Crumble it up and wait...sometimes send a friend down below to question the
|
|
store owner and distract him and then drop it right in...now unless it's a
|
|
tofu stand someone usually comes along every couple minues so just wait for
|
|
someone to buy some...And try not to laugh when they get a taste of it...
|
|
The possibilites from a second floor are endless...Wait to find some guy and
|
|
his girlfriend having lunch below...Remember that gross substance? I'm sure
|
|
you can figure out the rest...
|
|
If you have balls, and have an awesome hate of preppies(I do) then this is
|
|
always fun to do a few weeks before school starts...Most preppies I have found
|
|
go to different stores for different stuph, like (ugh)the Gap for jeans and
|
|
(equally -ugh-)Merry Go 'Round for shirts, the point is by the time they have
|
|
made it from one end of the mall to the other they usually have tons of bags,
|
|
and stuff way to heavy to carry...So when they get to the store they drop the
|
|
bags off near the counter while they look around inside...now to get this trick
|
|
to work you need to walk in right beside them, and when they put the bags down
|
|
dump in a generous portion of something...I use ink or that slime that you
|
|
can buy from a gumball machine for a quarter...Be sure that no one sees you
|
|
or you could get in a shitload of trouble for it. This same tactic can also
|
|
be used at Footlocker, first walk around inconspicuously, and lift up a few
|
|
pair of shoes, look them over and out them back...now when you come to the
|
|
newest and hottest shoe that everyone is buying, when you lift it up and look
|
|
at it, deposit a gooey substance in it, but move it towards the front near the
|
|
toe...I have used gum and everything else for this...Well, that about raps it
|
|
up for now...I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed using the
|
|
methods...And if I make it in to áGâ look forward to more hell to come...
|
|
|
|
-The Digital Hunter
|
|
|