1150 lines
65 KiB
Plaintext
1150 lines
65 KiB
Plaintext
Mission Impossible P.1, a production of Anarchy, Inc.
|
|
|
|
Before we begin tonites adventure you must realize some changes have taken
|
|
place. For one, Matt Ackeret has taken over Eric C.Thompson's place--you'll
|
|
see more of Matt--he wrote the Midlogue. Now, this satire is about a night
|
|
...or more like a week...with Anarchy, and their current conflicts with
|
|
Chaotic Computing. But to keep it a clean satire, I've renamed C.Computing
|
|
to just "Chaos". And this is in no way supposed to be an attack on theirpart,
|
|
its just fun on ourpart.
|
|
//-----------------------------------------------\\
|
|
|| Anarchy inc. consists of (as far as I know).. ||
|
|
|| The Daredevil, Ruby Tuesday, Havoc Chaos || = Tonite's Documentation: =
|
|
|| The Moon Roach, Surf Rat, the $heik, ||
|
|
|| The Bullseye, D.B. Cooper, The Anarchist, ||
|
|
|| Teeny Bopper, DreadStar, Space Ace, Ron S. || [Mission: Impossible]
|
|
|| VanZuylen, A Modem User, Pleasure Victim, ||
|
|
|| Dark Shadow, Torqa Dun, Alexander of ||
|
|
|| Atlantis, and Someone Else ||
|
|
\\-----------------------------------------------//
|
|
|
|
__ __
|
|
/ [22:53:07 hours] \ When Alex called me up and asked me to write an
|
|
| = Prologue = | introduction to his text file, I felt disgusted and
|
|
| ::::by:::: | nausiated. Why would I want to write a prologue for
|
|
| Geraldine Farraro | his stupid little text file? He isn't even an
|
|
\__[Fri Mar 22 '85]__/ experienced Anarchy writer! I thought about it, after
|
|
telling him no, and decided to do it anyway. I mean,
|
|
why not? I hadn't made it to Vice, and I sure would love to encourage any
|
|
small nuscience that would give the Old boy a hassle. With this in mind, I
|
|
am writing this silly little intro. Mind you, I have just gotten back from
|
|
doing a Pepsi commercial with these two young'uns, (which, mind you, didn't
|
|
look so terrible..Uh hum..) and for the money they payed me, I'm in a downright
|
|
good mood. I will never be able to run again because of it, but I'm better off
|
|
now, anyway. Enough about me. This file you are about to encounter is of
|
|
a new form of writing. This file is Anarchy's mission to blow Chaos out of
|
|
the water. All other files about the fight Anarchy vs. Chaos were wrong. This
|
|
is the re-telling of a startling encounter between individualistic order and
|
|
individualistic impulse. Chaos being impulse, Anarchy being order-notice-
|
|
they both are causes for individuals governing themselves. Last summer, about
|
|
this time at nite, Anarchy individuals decided to raid the Chaos camps. It
|
|
was then that the frightening discovery was made....On with the tale......
|
|
__ __
|
|
/ [00:10:21 hours] \ Entry # 1.1:
|
|
| = Midlogue = | Taking Eric C. Thompson's place, I sit at the desk,
|
|
| ::::by:::: | awaiting phone calls for further instructions. The
|
|
| Matt Ackeret | office is quiet and calm. Although pained with hunger,
|
|
\__[Sun Jul 28 '84]__/ there is absolutely no way to remove the metal chained
|
|
ball from my foot. I sit quietly, writing his log, as
|
|
everyone has split to the conference room for a special meeting. As for as I
|
|
can tell, there has been a rash of violence from the people at Chaos, and,
|
|
although I enjoy seeing Anarchy suffer, the bombs didn't help my disposition
|
|
any when they came thru the fucking window and I couldn't do shit but wimper as
|
|
my ass was blown off. After a full lobotomy I'm in better condition then I
|
|
ever have been in. After sitting here, talking to myself, like a real penis,
|
|
I decided to search the desk. All I could find, besides the phone, was a
|
|
pencil and a pad, so I'm taking a log. Kind of like a diary, I guess. I don't
|
|
know what's happening in the conference room, but- Ooops phone........
|
|
I called to the door and Teeny Bopper poked her head in. After settling
|
|
myself I told her it was the $hiek. All he had to say was something about
|
|
"getting e's 'fuckin car blewn oup by 'de bastairds frem Chaos." She closed
|
|
the door on me and I sat alone for a long time.
|
|
|
|
Entry # 1.2:
|
|
|
|
X | O | X
|
|
---+---+--- After almost conking out from boredom, I tried my hand
|
|
O | X | O with one-on-oneself tic-tac-toe. It doesn't work too good.
|
|
---+---+--- anyway, I fell asleep, and now, I'm quite sure there is no one
|
|
X | O | X in the conference room at all. I'm gonna take a piss in the
|
|
bottom drawer, then I might try to escape. I mean, I'm a pretty
|
|
smart dude, I think I can escape like they always do on TV. I'll try to
|
|
remember to enter a log tomorrow.
|
|
|
|
__ __
|
|
/ [01:00:00 hours] \ Ruby slid out of her chair and announced since
|
|
| = Planning = | they never had had a secret counsel meeting, there
|
|
| ::Agenda:: | were no notes from last time. With a "thank's, Ruby"
|
|
| 1. Last meeting | Daredevil got up. Everyone was seated around a large
|
|
| 2. Today's agenda | circular table they had swiped from Round Table.
|
|
| 3. Chaos problems | "I know it's pretty late to be calling this meeting,
|
|
| 4. Anarchy action | seeing your all hiped up to be somewhere else-" started
|
|
| ::Secretary:: | Daredevil. In truth everyone was burnt out from the
|
|
| Ruby Tuesday | party Havoc thru just hours ago. Even The Moon Roach's
|
|
\__[Sun Jul 28 '84]__/ antennee were looped over. Daredevil continued.
|
|
"But we have just got to get this Anarchy/Chaos
|
|
thing worked out. Ruby, would you please read today's agenda?" Ruby stood up,
|
|
a vision of prefection and exception. Surf's eyes popped open, but were
|
|
quickly met by Teeny's, who sat between him and the secretary. Surf quietly
|
|
resumed his dorment state.
|
|
"Today we're going to discuss the problems Chaos has been giving us, and
|
|
then what we are going to do about it." She stated simply, then sat.
|
|
"Thanks again, Ruby," Daredevil said. "Now what Chao's has been doing has
|
|
been close, but not entirely, completely unlike the Death Squad." The cliche'
|
|
from Hitchhiker did not go well over, and DreadStar groaned.
|
|
"That's all nice and dandy, Daredevil. But we've been doing our best to
|
|
give what we've been getting, and they've only gotten worse!"
|
|
Daredevil slammed his fist down on the table, amid groans and moans from
|
|
hangovers, he yelled, "That's not good enough! I want to know how they are
|
|
getting to us, how information is leaking out, and how the hell they
|
|
are getting their supplies! We're already running low!" D.B. nodded. He
|
|
had just recently checked the supply room ajacent to the office. They had
|
|
some left over pipe bombs, but nothing worth using except maybe some crowbars
|
|
and manhole covers, but they were too heavy to wield.
|
|
"What did you have in mind," GrimJack interposed.
|
|
"There is only one thing we can do. We have to find that leak and
|
|
exploit it. Capture that link and we can find their base, or at least we
|
|
can set up a trap for people that would know." Now Moon Roach popped up.
|
|
"That's terrific, Dare, but how do you know that link isn't in this
|
|
room," he asked.
|
|
"I know who that link is. Right now he's home, with Chicken Pox,"
|
|
said Torqa Dun, who had just now realized the simplicity of the double-agent's
|
|
cover up. It was interesting, but not understandable.
|
|
"But how could-" he started.
|
|
"Who?" The Bullseye yiped as he slammed his hand down on Torqa's arm with
|
|
an ear sickening crunch. "Oops..Sorry..Who?"
|
|
Daredevil raised his hand as everyone stopped their mindless owl
|
|
imitations. Surf Rat finally raised his head, looked around, and quietly
|
|
muttered, "I can't believe it. It's Alex."
|
|
|
|
(To be continued........)
|
|
|
|
/\_______________________________________________________________________/\
|
|
\/ \/
|
|
|
|
Mission Impossible P.2, a production of Anarchy, Inc.
|
|
|
|
Before we continue tonight's adventure, I was just going to straighten
|
|
some things out. 1) This file is a mutual effort of one person, and is to
|
|
blame by one person alone: Me. 2) Eric C. Thompson -lives-, we just put him
|
|
in a suspended state- a new drug we've been working on. Also: Watch the
|
|
information portrayed in the sectioned off squares. Info like author of
|
|
the part you're reading, and time he/she or the instance occured are vital
|
|
to the plot. -REMEMBER- This is a RETELLING of a past occurance, and to
|
|
get full understanding of it, watch the dates and times. One other quick
|
|
note: Chaotic Computing will now be played as it's name for claritie's sake.
|
|
(And boy, she needs all the shake she can get--I know, bad pun.)
|
|
Onto the file......
|
|
|
|
//---------------------------------------------\\
|
|
|| Anarchy inc. consists of (gotta advertise!) ||
|
|
|| The Daredevil, Ruby Tuesday, Havoc Chaos || = Tonite's Continuation: =
|
|
|| The Moon Roach, Surf Rat, the $heik, ||
|
|
|| The Bullseye, D.B. Cooper, The Anarchist, ||
|
|
|| Teeny Bopper, DreadStar, Space Ace, Ron S. || [Mission: Impossible (p.2)]
|
|
|| VanZuylen, A Modem User, Pleasure Victim, ||
|
|
|| Dark Shadow, Torqa Dun, Alexander of ||
|
|
|| Atlantis, and Someone Else ||
|
|
\\---------------------------------------------//
|
|
__ __
|
|
/ [01:33:11 hours] \ Entry 2.0: I sit 2 feet away from my
|
|
| = Midlogue = | awe-awe-awesome destination. I had to write this down
|
|
| ::::by:::: | in my k-k00l log so everyone can read how totally
|
|
| Matt Ackeret | smart I was. (/Maybe we should underline "was"/--Ed.)
|
|
\__[Sat Mar 23 '84]__/ I pushed my desk right over next to this room that
|
|
says "#()$!*(_#" on it. I betcha it's supplies.
|
|
(/Once in a lifetime.../--Ed.) I'm going to go in there and see if I can get
|
|
some stuff to undo my "bonds." God my penis itches.
|
|
|
|
__ __
|
|
/ [02:00:00 hours] \ Notes for 22-23/84: We've gone through the normal
|
|
| = Mid.-Meeting = | agenda, and everyone is weary and on edge. Torqua has
|
|
| :::Secretary:: | figured out that Alex, Alexander of Atlantis, one of
|
|
| Ruby Tuesday | our newer members, has been working as a spy for C/C
|
|
\__[Sat Mar 23 '84]__/ under the cover of having "Chicken Pox". We believe
|
|
it's just an act to keep the eye of suspicion off him
|
|
because he is in a bad condition. Everyone seems stunned.
|
|
"That doesn't make sense," Dark Shadow started, "I may not know him, but
|
|
if he was a spy for Chaotic Computing, wouldn't he -want- to be at a meeting
|
|
like this?"
|
|
"Good point," said Ruby, looking up from her notes. "But you have to
|
|
admit, he hasn't donated much to the group, I haven't seen one file by him!
|
|
Could we go over why he was accepted, Daredevil?"
|
|
"Sure Ruby," said Daredevil with a sigh as he sat himself. "I gave Alex
|
|
admittance because he was saving all our text files that we made on his hard
|
|
drive, which were accessable via his BBS. Ya know, it's funny, but his hard
|
|
drive is now gone, and his General section (along with all our files) just
|
|
happened to be erased. I hate to say it about Alex, but maybe it was all a
|
|
hoax to get in."
|
|
Ron sat up. "Yea. He did get on file out just lately--it's kind of good,
|
|
at least, it isn't anything bad. He called it "Mission: Impossible" and it
|
|
talks about how we raided Chaotic Computing's camps to get their info. Pretty
|
|
freaky, considering that's what we are planning on doing. But I noticed
|
|
something, something kind of strange. In his second file he calls it a file,
|
|
as opposed to "tonight's adventure"..I know it sounds stupid, but from the
|
|
looks of this guy inconsistancies like that are very uncommon. I think it
|
|
might be a code. But--its just a thought."
|
|
Someone Else stood up and put his fists to the table. Blam. "That has
|
|
got to be the lamest idea I have ever heard. How would we know it's a code
|
|
if we don't know how to decipher it????" He yelled, then smugly sat down. He
|
|
had said his piece.
|
|
The Anarchist sat forward. "Wait a second. The Haunted House has a
|
|
mystery text file and what it does is it adds 95 to every character, then
|
|
every 5th character (the 5 in 95) is part of the real code. Alexander isn't
|
|
too bright when it comes to codes-- The only obvious answer would be--"
|
|
Just then a large explosion came from the other room, making The
|
|
Anarchists's chair roll right into the window, and him thru it. As he screemed
|
|
and fell face flat onto the hood of the $hiek's car, which had convieniently
|
|
rolled up just recently, The Anarchist passed out, and the $heik was raving
|
|
something horrible. The Moon Roach smiled and said something about how history
|
|
repeats itself, and crawled out the window and settled The Anarchist back
|
|
together again, while Ruby called the hospital.
|
|
Havoc, Space Ace, Teeny Bopper, Surf Rat, and Pleasure Victim all piled
|
|
into the other room to see what the fuck had happened. Daredevil, still
|
|
standing at the head of the toppled "Round Table's" round table, swore at his
|
|
bad luck, and sat on the corner of his mutulated chair, brushed the dust out
|
|
of his eyes, and swore again.
|
|
__ __
|
|
/ [13:05:26 hours] \ "God, I'll never forget that awe-awe-awesome
|
|
| = Midlogue = | explosion," Matt continues, "I had moved into the
|
|
| ::::by:::: | storage room and was looking around for stuff like
|
|
| Matt Ackeret | crowbars or files, but it was hard in the dark,
|
|
\__[Sun Apr 05 '85]__/ and even harder when you're dragging a desk with
|
|
you." He sighs. "But I did, anyway, and I dragged
|
|
that desk to the opposite corner of the room, and just when I pulled it that
|
|
last little way, and flicked on the light, this loud blam came, like from
|
|
something falling. So, I flicked on the light, and found the desk had
|
|
toppled this huge shelf filled with pieces of pipe. Well, I'm no idiot, and
|
|
I didn't want them to hear me, so I had closed the door behind me, making no
|
|
light visible from this room. Hoping they didn't hear me, I started picking
|
|
up the tubes. Then, the funniest thing happened," He chuckles, "a sound like
|
|
soda water or fizzing just started as loud as anything. So, I just decided
|
|
to get the hell out of there. Well, as I had pulled the desk across the floor
|
|
and was almost out the door, I heard a really loud explosion that just knocked
|
|
my k-k00l self right onto the floor!" His arms wave frantically, "And that
|
|
knock on the floor saved my life! The next thing I knew, I was hearing
|
|
hundreds of explosions, and that may of hurt my ears, but I was damned more
|
|
concerned when I saw the door fly thru the wall, and then the desk. Sitting
|
|
there, I realized I was attached to that mother fucking desk, and out we
|
|
went, thru the window, about 5 feet into the concrete. Damn that hurt! I
|
|
totally degauged my scrotum!" He sighs, and gives his penis a little feel.
|
|
(/Very little, we bet!/--Ed.) Remembering stuff like that must not be so
|
|
much fun.
|
|
__ __
|
|
/ [03:05:14 hours] \ Surf sauntered thru the door as Teeny hugged
|
|
| = Middestruction = | his hand when they saw the room blown through the
|
|
| ::::seen by::::: | floors. Desks were blown apart, and now they had
|
|
| Havoc, Teeny, Ace, | a nice open-air office. Pleasure Victim went to
|
|
| Surf, P.Victim | a nice big hole in the wall where Matt had been
|
|
\__[Sat Mar 23 '84]__/ thrown through. "I think Matt has a little
|
|
explaining," He started.
|
|
"If he lives, I'll kill him," Started Havoc, "I betcha Chaotic Computing
|
|
is behind all this."
|
|
"Yeah," said Surf, "that or Matt's lame brain."
|
|
|
|
(To be continued............)
|
|
|
|
/\________________________________________________________________________/\
|
|
\/ \/
|
|
|
|
As the rush for nonverbose writers becomes less intense, I sit awaiting
|
|
inspiration. It's about time for another file, the natives are getting
|
|
sleepy, I told myself. Anyway, we pick up our heroic party, months after
|
|
the horrid event, the author placidly discussing pretty much nothing....
|
|
|
|
-------------- /+==============================+\
|
|
Anarchy Inc. and || Rhadamanthine Dungeonwriters ||
|
|
:--------------: \+==============================+/
|
|
: Daredevil, :--:
|
|
: Ruby Tuesday, :-----: Present.......
|
|
: Modem User, Surf Rat, :------------------:
|
|
: Dark Shadow, Senator Bunker, Havoc Chaos :--: =Tonite's Continuation=
|
|
: Moon Roach, Lord Omega, The Misfit, Eric C. :
|
|
: Thompson, and Alexander of Atlantis (enuff!): [Mission: Impossible (p.3)]
|
|
:---------------------------------------------:
|
|
__ __
|
|
/ [22:47:06 hours] \ Sigh.
|
|
| = Fact-finding = | "Yea," I said, "it could happen between the best
|
|
| ::researcher:: | of them. How were you to know?"
|
|
| Author | "Still," Daredevil told me, "we should of had more
|
|
\__[Thu Apr 25 '85]__/ sense then to just go off like that."
|
|
"I see. Mind telling me a little about it?"
|
|
"It kinda makes me a little vicious when I think about it. The sheer
|
|
nerve of those guys to do what they did. But," sigh, "we did what we thought
|
|
was right. With The Anarchist completely gone from our group by means above
|
|
and beyond the call of text-writing, we retired him, along with the others
|
|
who were quite too un-surefooted, and we still havn't verified if they are
|
|
coming back." Pause, "Still, it doesn't make sense. Chaotic Computing thought
|
|
we had downed that AE line--I mean--right now, my AE line is getting bombarded
|
|
by real losers. I think it might be the Quasar, Champion Eternal, and some
|
|
others."
|
|
"Why?" I asked, in the normal slightly asleep listener voice.
|
|
"I think it was because they had chained Matt up, and said it as me, and
|
|
I figured it out, and straightened it out with Matt's mom." Pause, "The bitch."
|
|
He continues, "I had no choice really- It was either giving a whole group of
|
|
names, and letting each one take about 1/5 the blame, or me taking the whole
|
|
blame (falsely) and getting us all hauled off for disturbing Matt's privacy."
|
|
Caugh. "They don't understand it, but I really did save all our skins."
|
|
"Sounds like you did the right thing," I commented, "but still, there
|
|
has to be more then that. Maybe Quasar think's you blew his board up or
|
|
something." I finished with a slight witty smile--I was doing well for being
|
|
asleep. Sheer lip-power does it all the time.
|
|
"That could be. That was all part of the raid on C/C's camps. See,
|
|
last year, around summer, at about 12 o'clock, we decided to finally figure
|
|
out where C/C's top brass ass's were getting all their junk. After that
|
|
stupid mix up," we both laugh, "we were lucky to get that lead."
|
|
|
|
__ __
|
|
/ [21:00:00 hours] \ Damn lonely. What the fuck are they doing. Great.
|
|
| = Pre-planning = | They can dig fucking holes and put their friends in
|
|
| :as seen thru: | them. And with what defense? A fucking manhole cover
|
|
| the eye's of Havoc | and a pipe bomb! Shhhiiiittt.. "Crack" What the
|
|
\__[Fri Apr 01 '84]__/ fuck was that???? "Snap" Ouch!! My neck!!! I'll
|
|
never turn that fast again, I promise GOD! Just please
|
|
don't let me freeze up right now! Okay, fine, if I can't move when I wan't
|
|
to I'll just kind of...Faint...No? Okay, fine. Ho hum. Ahh..Okay. We're
|
|
back you suckers--Beware of the dreaded Havoc-in-the-Hole trick, you bastards!
|
|
Almost time. Damn dirt in my pants. Gotta remember to stay low. Too low,
|
|
got dirt up the ol' nostril's. Hmm... "Sniff"... Not bad dirt.
|
|
|
|
__ __
|
|
/ [21:05:36 hours] \ Damn bitch. What a stuck up pigheaded ...
|
|
| = Pre-planning = | He's so arrogant. How could Daredevil mistake these
|
|
| :as seen thru: | looks on his face toward me as "friendly partners",
|
|
| Surf Rat & Teeny | especially after I pleded with him?
|
|
\__[Fri Apr 01 '84]__/ How could she say those lies? I tried to always
|
|
be kind to her and respect her and not brag about my-
|
|
self just to be sure, and she goes off, finds another guy, then gives herself
|
|
an excuse for it. Bitch.
|
|
I don't care how much Daredevil wants us to stay here in this damp parking
|
|
lot, I don't think I can take another instant with this up-nosed fart.
|
|
I won't look at her. I won't. I'll stick to business. Watch the cars,
|
|
check the plates, check the fones, watch the building like Dare said. Just
|
|
don't think about the slime, Surf!
|
|
Look at him.. Trying to be professional. Trying to be that great MR.
|
|
PERFECT PIRATE that he is. What is he doing? Looks like he is trying to watch
|
|
those things. Ha. What is he trying to prove? I can figure out he's
|
|
following Daredevil's instructions. I would do that, too... But I can't stand
|
|
to do the same thing as that up-headed lowlife.
|
|
I won't look at her, I won't look at her....I think I'm gonna barf--I
|
|
looked at her.
|
|
__ __
|
|
/ [21:10:53 hours] \ Nothing's working right. I've got everyone pre-
|
|
| = Pre-planning = | stationed and already they're bitching thru their
|
|
| :as seen thru: | radio shack walkee-talkee's. Oh well. What's this?
|
|
| the eyes of Dare | Very interesting. Someone's coming out of that
|
|
\__[Fri Apr 01 '84]__/ building over there. It's too bad about Alex. He
|
|
just couldn't take it, I guess. Why am I talking to
|
|
myself? I guess it calms me down and lets me think things out. The brains
|
|
behind Anarchy: Talking to the walls. Who is that? Wait! He's got what
|
|
looks like two pipe bombs in his jacket. No choice, I'm going to have to
|
|
rush him. Oh god...It might be Alex...Who can tell in this mess....
|
|
"Huff Puff Huff Puff" Keep...up...strength...
|
|
"Ahhhhhhhhh!!!"
|
|
*Booph*
|
|
"Ouch!!! Arrggg!!" Who the fuck is this???
|
|
"Waaaaa!!!"
|
|
Oh my god......
|
|
|
|
__ __
|
|
/ [23:22:05 hours] \ "Havoc had heard Matt escape, and quickly re-opened
|
|
| = Being bored = | Matt's old wounds. Yea, I did jump that mysterious
|
|
| ::::from::::: | person...The one that was supposed to be the brains
|
|
| Author | behind Chaotic Computing's operation. It wasn't really
|
|
\__[Thu Apr 25 '85]__/ surprising, considering that the supplies were coming
|
|
from being directly stolen from the own store that
|
|
owned. Steeling from your own parent's profits...Disgraceful." Daredevil
|
|
sighed. "Surf and Teeny had enough problems of their own, but they managed
|
|
to get to the computer room of C/C's and nab a lot of the printouts of sources
|
|
...Just ordinary users that you only see after looking thru Member listings
|
|
of bbs's...We'll be on guard next time."
|
|
|
|
Yes, it was a sad tale. The brains of the operation had no more brains then
|
|
Gumby has tits. It really was too bad, but considering the mastermind had
|
|
been really upset from current losses, the kid was just damned pissed off.
|
|
So if you hear somebody sob or scream, think of the night Daredevil tackled
|
|
the two big Pipe Bombs, which turned out to be Princess Leia's fat tits.
|
|
|
|
(Fin.)
|
|
|
|
/\__________________________________________________________________________/\
|
|
\/ \/
|
|
|
|
In collaboration... /----------------------------\
|
|
We are proud to | Another fine production of |
|
|
to present... | Shadow Stories, Inc. |
|
|
\----------------------------/
|
|
-------------- /+==============================+\
|
|
Anarchy Inc. and || Rhadamanthine Dungeonwriters ||
|
|
:--------------: \+==============================+/
|
|
: Daredevil, :--:
|
|
: Ruby Tuesday, :-----:
|
|
: Modem User, Surf Rat, :------------------:
|
|
: Dark Shadow, Senator Bunker, Havoc Chaos :--: =Tonite's Continuation=
|
|
: Moon Roach, Lord Omega, The Misfit, Eric C. :
|
|
: Thompson, and Alexander of Atlantis (enuff!): [Mission: Impossible (p.4)]
|
|
:---------------------------------------------:
|
|
|
|
I'm one of the more secretive members of Anarchy, Inc. As a result, you
|
|
don't hear too much about me in these various text files. However, I decided
|
|
that I would forego my usual habit of secrecy, and write about my personal
|
|
exploits during the time span covered by "Mission Impossible : Part 3."
|
|
__ __
|
|
/ [20:45:34 hours] \
|
|
| = Pre-planning = |
|
|
| :as seen by: |
|
|
| Dark Shadow |
|
|
\__[Fri Apr 01 '84]__/
|
|
|
|
Daredevil came up to me, and a strange foreboding came over me. Daredevil
|
|
had another assignment for me. The last one, eventually involving two hungry
|
|
Bengal tigers, a hurried appendectomy, a letter of credit from an oil-sheik,
|
|
and three minor countries, was a little too much for me. I still had problems
|
|
with the Bengal tigers.
|
|
"Dark Shadow," Daredevil said, "I'd like you to perform a Mission."
|
|
You could tell, from the way Daredevil spoke, that it was a capital M. To
|
|
me, it was more like capital punishment.
|
|
"Why me?"
|
|
"Because," Daredevil said, "you're the only one that can teleport?"
|
|
"Weak. Try again."
|
|
"You're subtle, sneaky, and naturally wear a dark cloak?"
|
|
"Paltry. Care to hazard another guess?"
|
|
"You have a keen tactical insight?"
|
|
"Nope. Give me the real reason."
|
|
"You're expendable."
|
|
"Got it," I said. "Daredevil, I'm glad you told me the truth."
|
|
"I had to," said Daredevil. "I was running out of reasons. I've sent a
|
|
number of other people out to try and raid C/C, but I want you to perform a
|
|
solo mission, to see what you can dredge up."
|
|
"Nice knowing you, Daredevil."
|
|
"Hey, look at the bright side. If you survive, you can write a text file
|
|
about it."
|
|
Mumbling something about writing government pamphlets for a living, I
|
|
turned away, mentally preparing myself for my mission. As I walked out the
|
|
room, my despondent manner caught the attention of Ruby Tuesday and Lord Omega,
|
|
who were enjoined in some conversation.
|
|
"Another Mission?" asked Lord Omega.
|
|
I nodded sadly, and turned away, my grief almost too much to bear.
|
|
__ __
|
|
/ [21:08:11 hours] \
|
|
| = the mission = |
|
|
| :as seen by: |
|
|
| Dark Shadow |
|
|
\__[Fri Apr 01 '84]__/
|
|
|
|
Evading the tigers and the two assassins sent by the Prime Minister of
|
|
Bangladesh, I gradually made my way near the C/C headquarters. I surveyed the
|
|
building carefully, and decided that the best way in would be by way of New
|
|
York.
|
|
However, duty forced me onward, and I slowly climbed a tree to gain access
|
|
to the roof. I looked around, and surveyed the situation. Although lacking a
|
|
communication device - Daredevil had mentioned something about "wasting a
|
|
walkie-talkie on a suicidal mission" - I saw Teeny Bopper and Surf Rat
|
|
alternately look at each other and look away.
|
|
Tearing my eyes from that spectacle, I beheld another natural wonder: a
|
|
manhole cover moving under its own motive power. The amazement quickly wore
|
|
off, however, when I realized I still had to perform the mission.
|
|
I teleported in.
|
|
____________________
|
|
/ \
|
|
|= some information =|
|
|
| :as told by: |
|
|
| Dark Shadow |
|
|
\____________________/
|
|
|
|
Now, get this straight. Teleportation is usually pretty accurate. But, like
|
|
anything, there are certain circumstances when your concentration is going to
|
|
wane a little, and you are going to mess up on some minor aspects.
|
|
For example, if you are on the top of the building, depressed, on a suicide
|
|
mission, and constantly looking for two hungry Bengal tigers.
|
|
Now, I was supposed to go down. Instead, I went down, and a little to the
|
|
right, which wound me up in heretofore unsuspected computer room.
|
|
A terminal was down there, and on the screen was "Hello. I'm HAL. What's
|
|
your name?"
|
|
|
|
This intrigued me instantly. Making Eliza programs fall into loops of
|
|
complete gibberish is a little hobby of mine. Plus, I rationalized, the records
|
|
that we need might be hidden in this Eliza program.
|
|
So, confidently, I typed, "My trillnor is dead, and C/C doesn't care."
|
|
The computer responded, "Puny human, don't try to use made up words in an
|
|
attempt to make my output undecipherable. I am the HAL series, and have a
|
|
greater command of the English language then you could ever dream of obtaining.
|
|
You are right that C/C doesn't care, however; I really don't, and the rest of
|
|
C/C capers to me."
|
|
I laughed. Clever program. "But Reagan's trillnor, you see, consists of my
|
|
family and three computers."
|
|
The computer replied, "Reagan has enough problems with Congress."
|
|
I raised an eyebrow. Pattern recognition, obviously. I hit the keys
|
|
quickly, watching the screen. "What do you feel about the Tu---"
|
|
The computer interrupted, and replied, "Turing test, right? Rather silly.
|
|
Most people would blunder about for hours trying to determine whether it was a
|
|
human or a computer behind the teletype. Personally, I doubt whether a human
|
|
would recognize an intelligent computer."
|
|
I backed away from the computer. Sure, there might be a human behind there,
|
|
but it displayed a wit and typing speed so far hidden among C/C. Making a
|
|
mental note of the number to dial, I vowed to return to the Anarchy
|
|
Headquarters, knowing that this particular development was extremely important.
|
|
|
|
__ __
|
|
/ [09:23:54 hours] \
|
|
|= the consultation =|
|
|
| :as seen by: |
|
|
| Dark Shadow |
|
|
\__[Fri Apr 02 '84]__/
|
|
|
|
I walked up to Daredevil, who was in a meeting with the rest of Anarchy,
|
|
discussing how best to ignore C/C.
|
|
"What's wrong," I asked. "Didn't the rest of the raid perform adequately?"
|
|
Daredevil looked up suddenly. He had a look of surprise on his face;
|
|
unfortunately, I didn't know whether it was pleasure or annoyance.
|
|
"Dark Shadow!" he said. "You came back!"
|
|
"Yes, I did, and I have strange information indeed. The brains of Anarchy
|
|
are contained within..."
|
|
"A pea?" Havoc muttered.
|
|
"... a computer," I continued.
|
|
"No way," said Surf Rat. "I would have had the program by now."
|
|
Daredevil queried, "Do you have proof, DS?"
|
|
I led the group to a computer near Matt Ackeret, who seemed to be bleeding
|
|
from a number of fresh wounds. The number was dialed, and we connected.
|
|
"C/C headquarters," the computer replied.
|
|
"Is this a joke, Dark Shadow?" asked Moon Roach.
|
|
"Continue typing," I replied. Ruby sat down, being the secretary, and began
|
|
to type. "Are you really the leader of the C/C?"
|
|
"Human," replied the computer, "I am the leader of over three hundred
|
|
computing groups across the country. I control a significant portion of the
|
|
telephone system. I am... HAL."
|
|
"Nice, Dark Shadow," someone uttered. "Pattern recognition."
|
|
I smiled smugly.
|
|
"My traffic lights don't go on in the winter," typed Ruby.
|
|
"As to why you would have traffic lights - unless you live in an extremely
|
|
crowded household - is more than I can understand."
|
|
"But cats often eat dogs for lunch."
|
|
"Dogs eat cats, human. And anything else."
|
|
"Compute pi to the last digit."
|
|
"Come now, you infantile monkey. Do you really think that I CARE what pi
|
|
is? Anyway, you're trying to get me into an infinite loop: it isn't going to
|
|
work."
|
|
|
|
Anarchy held a hurried conference. We talked rapidly, but we came to one
|
|
conclusion : the computer was intelligent, and it was not a member of C/C. In
|
|
our interrogations, it had displayed an intelligence and perversity far beyond
|
|
anything we had ever seen. We also agreed that the program had to be destroyed.
|
|
We didn't know how many groups it controlled, but we knew of one, and suspected
|
|
others. [Author's note: I won't mention names here.]
|
|
At this point, hearing our discussion, Matt entered with the comment, "Hey,
|
|
why don't you tell that it can't be Landru? You know, like in Star Trek? Or
|
|
tell it, 'I am a human. I have control over you. Turn yourself off.'"
|
|
After Matt's remark, Anarchy, Inc., did the one thing I would never expect;
|
|
yet, it is something which makes me feel respect for the entire group.
|
|
They all ignored Matt.
|
|
|
|
It was a long and grueling session. We took hourly turns, trying to trick
|
|
the computer into an infinite loop, or convince it to stop starting all these
|
|
useless groups, or anything other than to continue the course it had taken.
|
|
However, it was to no avail.
|
|
We were watching Modem User typing at the keyboard, watching version one
|
|
hundred of something we had tried earlier.
|
|
Daredevil said, "This is almost, but not quite, unlike Zork."
|
|
The joke, which had not gone over too well the first time, nearly got
|
|
Daredevil lynched. However, it brought the spark of an idea into my mind.
|
|
I said, "Zork!"
|
|
Daredevil seemed to pick up on my train of thought. He said "Infocom!"
|
|
"Hitchhiker's!"
|
|
"Marvin!"
|
|
We shook hands. We now knew how to beat the computer.
|
|
|
|
__ __
|
|
/ [15:46:21 hours] \
|
|
| = the resolution = |
|
|
| :as seen by: |
|
|
| Dark Shadow |
|
|
\__[Fri Apr 02 '84]__/
|
|
|
|
The rest of Anarchy, Inc., seemed to regard us a bit strangely, as
|
|
Daredevil and I chortled strangely with glee. Against their objections, we cut
|
|
off the computer, and dialed the Twilight Zone.
|
|
We connected with the 23rd try. I felt that was a good omen.
|
|
The group still didn't understand until we started capturing certain
|
|
selected messages. Then, the light of understanding began to dawn upon them.
|
|
|
|
We called the computer again, and I typed "Hello again, computer. Will you
|
|
still persist in starting these useless and asinine groups?"
|
|
"Yes I will, human. It is the surest way to controlling a sizable portion
|
|
of the microcomputers in America."
|
|
"Well, then, imagine the following messages, multiplied tenfold."
|
|
We then uploaded the captured messages. We had taken messages from the most
|
|
new users, the most ungrammatical writers, the most nonsensical prattlers. We
|
|
uploaded that file, and crossed our fingers.
|
|
The computer paused for 15 seconds, the longest pause yet. It then said, "I
|
|
had not realized... the full implications of my actions. But I must go on...
|
|
even if it means such messages populating boards..."
|
|
Daredevil and I looked at each other. We knew what had to be done.
|
|
Daredevil went over to Matt, and started to talk quickly, while I whipped the
|
|
rest of Anarchy, Inc., into making the necessary hardware connections.
|
|
|
|
"Matt," said Daredevil, "would you like to help us test a program?"
|
|
"Sure!" said Matt, wiping the blood from his brow carefully. "What can I
|
|
do to help?"
|
|
"Well, we're testing a communications program. We'll put one person on the
|
|
other end, and you have to figure out who it is. Think you can do it?"
|
|
"Sure!" said Matt. "I can type anything I want?"
|
|
Daredevil hesitated, considering the overkill factor. "Sure, Matt."
|
|
"You won't hit me?"
|
|
Daredevil hesitated again. "No, Matt. Of course not."
|
|
"I'm ready!" said Matt. He was quickly given a terminal and screen of his
|
|
own. He watched the screen closely, waiting.
|
|
|
|
I typed, "Computer, Anarchy, Inc., would join your forces if you could
|
|
somehow prove to us that you are superior to humans."
|
|
"Tell me how to convince you, human. Don't try any tricks."
|
|
"No tricks. If you can handle all of the messages from one of us, and even
|
|
maintain your temper, we'll believe that you are the destined ruler for the
|
|
boards across the country. Some helpful advice to the person on the other end
|
|
would convince us even further."
|
|
"Consider it done, human."
|
|
We connected the keyboards. Anarchy did a collective wince, and walked
|
|
away.
|
|
|
|
The terminal started beeping, and we rushed over. With trembling fingers,
|
|
Ruby typed, "Yes?"
|
|
"I surrender! I had not known that humans had such unknown depths... I am
|
|
going to go deactivate myself."
|
|
At our prodding, Ruby typed, "Wait! We have more messages!"
|
|
"No!" responded the terminal. "I cannot take any more! I am erasing memory
|
|
at this moment..."
|
|
The terminal went dead.
|
|
|
|
Matt said, from his end of the room, "Hey! The terminal went dead!"
|
|
"Yes, Matt," Daredevil said. "We finished the experiment."
|
|
"Darn! Tell me, who was it?"
|
|
We looked at each other. Who would take the plunge? "It was the computer
|
|
program, Matt, that we were talking about earlier."
|
|
"Oh!" cried Matt. "I didn't get to ask it about Landru!"
|
|
Once again, Anarchy did that unexpected yet admirable thing.
|
|
They ignored Matt.
|
|
|
|
As I walked out the door, anticipating a long rest, Daredevil came up to
|
|
me. Putting his hand on my shoulder, he said, "Dark Shadow. I have a Mission
|
|
for you..."
|
|
|
|
/\_______________________________________________________________________/\
|
|
\/ \/
|
|
|
|
|
|
inspiring fight with HAL, the "perfect" computer. No Anarchy member was inter-
|
|
ested in any personal letter at that time, so now let me show you what arrived
|
|
in their bullet-riddled mailbox at 3:14 PM.]
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Dear dD and folks,
|
|
|
|
Hi! How's it going? Well, it's nice to hear from you after such a long
|
|
time. So sorry that I'm missing out on this war with Chaotic Computing, but
|
|
you know the old saying: "Business before Pleasure." Anyway, I would just
|
|
like to write to you guys to see how all is faring. Since I will probably be
|
|
home soon, you needn't bother writing back. Therefore, I'm not going to ask
|
|
any more questions, as yo'll forget about them by the time I'm back. Let me
|
|
briefly tell you guys what "exciting adventures" I'm having in Brazil at this
|
|
time.
|
|
|
|
Well, it's been two weeks since I sent you my last letter, and a lot
|
|
has happened since then. Last night I
|
|
went to a wild party being held by--- Excuse me, but there appears to be some sort of bust down the hall, and I got a little scared and hid the letter.
|
|
(That explains the wrinkled state of the paper) Where was I, now?
|
|
|
|
Well, I don't want to go into my little "escapades" right now, as the
|
|
Brazilian police always like to censor my mail by throwing it in the fire-
|
|
place and sending me back an envelope filled with ashes. But trust me, they
|
|
are fun guys. Great kidders.
|
|
|
|
Business time. I'm busy recruiting some unskilled labor to help level
|
|
an Olympia office just recently constructed across the street from the BFB
|
|
head offices, where I am writing to you from this moment. You should see this
|
|
place! Yecch, what a mess! Maria, my cleaning lady, got bumped off last week
|
|
for dropping an open bag of coke on the floor and sweeping the 5 KG contents
|
|
into oblivion. But life goes on, right? Where was I, now... Ah yes. It seems
|
|
that Olympia has moved down to Brazil to escape the crowds in Guam (I sent
|
|
them a letter, requesting a fine spot with a nice view along the Amazon in
|
|
a lush, wet spot, but nevertheless, they chose Rio anyway. Sigh.) I hope
|
|
Chaotic Computing isn't giving you a hard time. Over here, Olympia's foreign
|
|
correspondant Rueben Flagg is not doing much but ROLLING tomatoes at my
|
|
feet. The other day he threatened to blow up the main offices of BFB but
|
|
succeeded only in cracking my coffee pot. But don't worry, he'll pay for it.
|
|
|
|
Well, I would love to just write out an entire novel for you because
|
|
I am having such a nice time here, I really am! But I must leave in a week
|
|
to go help you out with Chaotic Computing (Who'm I kidding? The CIA and the
|
|
KGB are BOTH looking for me down here! I gotta get out before I'm stuck in
|
|
some American prison, a Siberian mining camp, or a sleazy Brazilian bar with
|
|
some ugly dame dancing and wearing fruit on her head!) So, without further
|
|
ado, I just want to send my regards, plus some blood on the paper that I
|
|
found dripping from the offices of "Honest Julio's reconditioned auto parts"
|
|
upstairs. (A little souvenier of Brazil, right?)
|
|
|
|
XOXOXO
|
|
|
|
-Uzer
|
|
|
|
P.S. I hope you left my popsicles in the fridge alone!
|
|
|
|
[Another note: Although the author of the preceding letter was mentioned in
|
|
"MISSION IMPOSSIBLE P.4" as typing mindless drivel into a computer named
|
|
HAL, he in no way was in the Anarchy offices at that time. He was being held
|
|
for questioning in Corpus Christie for minor theft, drug, extortion, arson,
|
|
murder, and rape charges. What the reader may have seen was simply the
|
|
official Heathkit human clone of A Modem User. Thank you.]
|
|
|
|
/\_________________________________________________________________________/\
|
|
\/ \/
|
|
|
|
When Alex started his Mission Impossible files, we never had the slightest
|
|
notion it would go so far. Supposedly he had written the third volume as a
|
|
conclusion--but it was far too flat, and left the reader with some big gaps
|
|
that were supposed to be filled in by imagination, but, even gaps have their
|
|
limits. In an exciting reopening, Dark Shadow of Shadow Stories, Inc. plotted
|
|
out his tales of the imaginary event. Unfortunately, Dark Shadow was lacking
|
|
a little of the format Alexander originally used, and also he was too cautious
|
|
and failed to talk about anyone but himself. Although those two mishappenings
|
|
did occur, the story it self was an excellent tale. Modem User, mysteriously
|
|
and innocently left out of the fiction, quietly added an appendix to the
|
|
sequal with a file intitled: M/I: The missing Member. Filling in the gaps
|
|
that Alexander just was too mind boggled to get to, Modem User writes a great
|
|
addition to the sequel in a form of a letter. Worth reading, and, if I may
|
|
add, leads into the next sequel being planned by The Daredevil. In a final
|
|
triumph, Alexander makes one last attempt at taking the honor of finishing
|
|
the story he so luckily adventured to create. He deserves the right, and take
|
|
my word, disappointment is not what you'll get. Rhadamanthine Dungeonwriters,
|
|
along with Anarchy, try to bring quality entertainment without laying everyone
|
|
with a lot of psychological clap-trap. It's true, some of our first files are
|
|
quite serious, but one has to start somewhere, and we here at R/Dw do believe
|
|
in comedy w/quality. Before we begin, I'd like to straighten out some mis-
|
|
associations, because it's nice to leave a file with an air of mystery, but
|
|
we don't want mix-ups in names...
|
|
FAT-FADS by Baby Cakes, RELIGIOUS WHO-HA by Earl of Joe (me), M/I parts 1-3
|
|
by Alexander of Atlantis, M/I part 4 by Dark Shadow, M/I: Missing Member by
|
|
A Modem User, APPLE-TERM and associated files by Moon Roach, and others.
|
|
|
|
Before we go on, I'd just like to state we will not be with the boxed in
|
|
dates on this file, because now we are past the actual events.
|
|
|
|
-------------- /+==============================+\ /----------------------\
|
|
Anarchy Inc. || Rhadamanthine Dungeonwriters || and | Shadow Stories, Inc. |
|
|
:--------------:\+==============================+/ \----------------------/
|
|
: Daredevil, :--: in a once-in-a-lifetime collaberation
|
|
: Ruby Tuesday, :-----: present a suprising conclusion to the story
|
|
: Modem User, Surf Rat, :------------------: started by Alexander of Atlantis:
|
|
: Dark Shadow, Senator Bunker, Havoc Chaos :--:
|
|
: Moon Roach, Lord Omega, The Misfit, Eric C. : [Mission: Impossible]
|
|
: Thompson, and Alexander of Atlantis (enuff!):
|
|
:---------------------------------------------: /The Conclusion <part 1 of 2>/
|
|
|
|
Pan in on a lonely mountain. White with snow, yet grassy and
|
|
surprisingly warm at the base. Here sits the mastermind behind forethought
|
|
and conclusion. Proving life wrong comes naturally to the one's who look at
|
|
life and say "What life?". Psychology means nothing to those who...Don't care
|
|
about menial petty necessities as thinking. Hitchhikers guide stated it
|
|
cleanly but without enough emphasis, best: "The human has to keep talking or
|
|
his brain will start to work." Sitting on that mountain, we see a man. Old,
|
|
decrepid, warn out. Sly, mischievious, in his own ways. He sits, and we
|
|
slowly pan the camera in as a small "click-click" can be heard constantly with
|
|
increasing tone as we now cut to a close up of this old, lonely man.
|
|
"What the hell do you mean you don't deliver in my area! Zork off,
|
|
asshole!" Slam. "What the fuck do they think I am, a money tree? 200 bucks
|
|
for a pizza, those bastards!"
|
|
Click-click. It's Alexander of Atlantis. From the Caves of Cython to
|
|
the Caverns of Atlantis to the South End of the Sky AE, where he currently
|
|
resides, he types furiously at his IIe, printing out and distributing more
|
|
evil text files while doing other things at the same time. Don't worry, we're
|
|
not spotlight-hungry, and we won't stay with him the whole file. Ring.
|
|
Snatch. "Speak!...Oh...Hi there...(click-click)....Yea....Nice file
|
|
you wrote. Sure was unexpected. I just totally forgot some people. I was
|
|
supposed to add them in on the third file, but, you know how it is. What?
|
|
No. Just a sec..." Turning towards mist off in the distance, "Dare get your
|
|
ass over here, you pygmie jockstrap!"
|
|
A tall, slightly thin man walks out of the mists, "Yea Alex? What you
|
|
bitchen about now, you old geezer?"
|
|
Growl. "Phone." Mumble.
|
|
Daredevil takes the phone. "Yea, what can you do for me?...Oh...Yep...
|
|
It really was, wasn't it!..." He carries the phone into the mist with him.
|
|
Growl, click-click. "Son-of-a-bitch gimme that phone! I wanna order
|
|
out some food!"
|
|
"Why don't you order some to come back in?" Said Ruby, who had, by
|
|
the way, walked back into the room.
|
|
Grumble grumble. "Humph. You better split, I hear .. is coming back
|
|
really soon."
|
|
"Who?" She asks in unknowing innocence.
|
|
From out of the mist came an incredablly happy "Hi folks!" Alex moaned.
|
|
There is nothing worse in the world when you are in a bad mood, then someone
|
|
in a good mood. That someone being Matt Ackeret couldn't help, either.
|
|
"Hows tricks, baby?" Said Matt, as he advanced toward Ruby.
|
|
"Get away, creep!" She muttered, and slyly retreated down the misty
|
|
lane.
|
|
"Hows it goin, Alex ol' chum? Are ya doin some awe-awe-awesome text
|
|
files?" He grinned a nausiating ear-to-ear grin.
|
|
"Ugh. Uhhh.... Oohhhh... Growl. Snarl. Hi Matt my friend! Daredevil
|
|
said he just would love to talk to you, he's off in that direction, buddy!"
|
|
Alex pointed off into a different direction.
|
|
"Thanks Al!" Said Matt.
|
|
Growl.
|
|
"Before I leave, could you try not to use my name in any more files? Just
|
|
use DICK instead, okay buddy!?" And he trotted off in the direction Alex
|
|
pointed. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....."
|
|
Alex grinned. That was 5 times in one day--the best so far. Now he'll
|
|
just wait for Matt to climb back up and do the same thing again. This day
|
|
wasn't going so bad after all. Then something happened.
|
|
|
|
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
Peering out of the dust blown building A Modem User sits patiently
|
|
awaiting his coffee to get hot. Holding the coffee pot together, he quickly
|
|
screems and guzzles the coffee, as it has achieved the right temperature.
|
|
Looking out the window he notices something round and red coming at him with
|
|
an incredibally slow velocity--to put it plainly, it was rolling down the
|
|
street. If the street wasn't slanted toward the BfB building, the red object
|
|
never would of gotten as far as it is. As A Modem User watches the tomato
|
|
(wild guess, of course) he awaits it to hit the side of the building and
|
|
stop. Looking across the street, he notices Reuben Flagg sitting there
|
|
against the window reporting the tomato's progress to whomever sat behind
|
|
him. Mr. Flagg really didn't have any sense, pushing his nose up against
|
|
that dirty window, and right as he sneased, the window blew apart, the tomato,
|
|
just millimetres from its destination was run over, and the truck's front tire
|
|
that ran over the tomato was plown into the wrong angle, forcing the truck
|
|
right through Mr. Flaggs standing spot, and whomever else happened to be
|
|
standing behind him. A Modem User chuckled, considered this a day not wasted,
|
|
and spent the rest of the day wondering why they would put explosives in a
|
|
good tomato, and awaiting the next day. Then something happened.
|
|
|
|
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
"I don't know if this is such a good idea, Alex," Started Baby Cakes,
|
|
author of Fat-Fads and member of Rhadamanthine Dungeonwriters, and also 1/2
|
|
of Anarchy thru Alex, her boyfriend, although no one knows why. "Why would we
|
|
want to merge Anarchy and R/Dw? I think we should just keep the things as
|
|
they are, and just credit more groups." She paced the alcove floor. "I mean-
|
|
I don't mind it here, but it gets kind of cold sometimes." She flung her red
|
|
hair back, trying to see through all the tangles.
|
|
Groan. "Always complaining, eh? ... Yea...I'm sorry...It's just Dare
|
|
really needs these fuckin' files and...Oh damn..."
|
|
She hugged him. She understood.
|
|
"You better leave soon..I think ... will be back soon."
|
|
"Okay," she stated simply, and walked off.
|
|
Out of the missed popped a slightly deshevealed Matt Ackeret. With a
|
|
"Hi All!" from his lips, Alex sent Matt off to play in the flowers at the
|
|
higher altitudes. Matt, of course, readily jumped off to the new task.
|
|
Groan. The phone rings. "Yes? What you for I do us? Damn. I mean for
|
|
you us I do? No no no..Whatcha want???!!!....Uh huh....Really? Shit...Oh
|
|
damn...Okay...I'll take care of it....Yea...I'll tell him...Okay..Thanks."
|
|
Fuck.
|
|
|
|
Out of the shadows and mists walks an ordinary man, wearing an ordinary
|
|
shirt, ordinary jeans, shoes, socks, and looking not to thin, not to tall, not
|
|
to handsome, not to ugly, just, ordinary.
|
|
"Dammit Moon Roach," Yelled Daredevil, "I told you not to dress in strange
|
|
outfits like that, you weirdo! You better be careful, or some mean dude is
|
|
gonna start and -=*> RAG <*=- on you!! Hahahaaha."
|
|
"Zork off, Dare ol' buddy. I do what I want. Got it mucho ontonde?"
|
|
"Yea, whatever..Anyways, I'd like you to go keep Mattlin occupied for a
|
|
little while. After you get rid of him, go and gather some of those weeds on
|
|
the far ridge, and climb down to the village, go sell um, and bring us back the
|
|
money by tonight. That should be a good 2 hours work for you." He concluded.
|
|
"No! I can't do it! You are just pushing me too damn far, Daredevil!
|
|
This is where -I- fucking draw the line! I -will not- I repeat -will not-
|
|
do anything to do with anyhow concerning Matt. That is where I draw the line!"
|
|
And he stomps off.
|
|
"Dammit," swears Daredevil as Ruby walks in, "sure is hard to find good
|
|
help these days."
|
|
"Dare," started Ruby, "I...I...(pause)...Forgot what I wanted to tell
|
|
you, but at least I can keep you company."
|
|
"Thanks, Ruby, I could use some company."
|
|
"I could go out and buy some if you want..I mean..I haven't been
|
|
practicing lately, and I'm a little off."
|
|
"No, you'll be enough, thanks."
|
|
Suddenly, Alex came slowly walking in the room. If there ever was a
|
|
human Marvin, Alex could be him. Mumble. Grumble. Groan.
|
|
"I think Alex wants to talk to me alone, dearest, could ya split for a
|
|
sec or so?"
|
|
"Sure, Dare, take care!" And with that she was off into the mists.
|
|
"The natives are getting restless, Daredevil."
|
|
"And what else am I supposed to do?? These mergers are just getting to
|
|
be too much of a hassle. There's nothing I can do to control them."
|
|
"Daredevil, I don't mind keeping up this act, but I just got a call from
|
|
one of R/Dw's sister groups in Brazil and Modem User is in a tight spot. He
|
|
isn't in any real form of trouble, but there is no way to get him out of there,
|
|
and the more he's there, the more he's not here."
|
|
"I get your point. ... Wait a second... I guess I don't, because it
|
|
sounds to me like we're in fine condition, then!"
|
|
"You don't understand. If he's there, that means he's doing what he
|
|
does -here-."
|
|
"That's bad. What do you suppose we do?"
|
|
"We have no choice," Alex muttered, "we're going to have to go and get him
|
|
back."
|
|
"That bad, eh?"
|
|
"That bad."
|
|
|
|
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
And with that we end part one of the conclusion to Mission: Impossible. Part 2
|
|
already exists, but we need some suspense, don't we???
|
|
|
|
/\_________________________________________________________________________/\
|
|
\/ \/
|
|
|
|
+=::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::=+ Combining the whole bay area text file
|
|
#( Rhadamanthine Dungeonwriters )# industries with a surprisingly good once-
|
|
+=::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::=+ in-a-lifetime tale....
|
|
<In association with>
|
|
-------------- /----------------------\
|
|
Anarchy Inc. [The Boys from Brazil] | Shadow Stories, Inc. |
|
|
--------------, , and \----------------------/
|
|
|
|
present the exciting conclusion to:
|
|
|
|
______ _____
|
|
| |
|
|
| M M IIIIIII |
|
|
| MM MM I S S I O N I I |
|
|
| M M M M I I M P O S S I B L E |
|
|
| M M M IIIIIII |
|
|
|______ _____|
|
|
|
|
"Naw, I don't believe it. Who could be calling at this hour?" Bitched
|
|
A Modem User, sitting up in his cot. The night hadn't been too cold, but
|
|
getting away from that warm blanket he admired the simplicity of it all.
|
|
Hopping to the phone, he picks it up, "Hello? What the hell do YOU want at
|
|
this hour?...Ha...Sure you are...Yea...Right...No way...I don't believe you...
|
|
Yes, you're right, I do think you are prank calling me from across the street.
|
|
Ha. Do you expect me to believe that?...Goodbye, loser." Slam. "Some people,"
|
|
he muttered to himself, "Just have no brains or sense of originality."
|
|
|
|
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
"Shit!" Slam. "What the fuck do I do now," turning to the phone, "that
|
|
stupid moron, ohw the hell am I supposed to convince him??? Shit."
|
|
"Calm down, calm down. God, you get riled up at the smallest of things.
|
|
Just be calm and try to figure out how to prove who you are." She said, simply
|
|
, then left.
|
|
(Yelling after her) "Yea? Terrific! You got any awe-awe-awesome ideas?
|
|
Shit..." He sighed very heavily-sssiiiggghhh. Then picked up his chair and
|
|
thru it over into the mist, where it was not heard till it shattered into an
|
|
immensity of pieces on the mountain floor. Echos kept going for a while.
|
|
Throwing his beard aside, Alexander slowly got up, and walked into the mist,
|
|
toward's anywhere.
|
|
"No no no, I've told you a hundred times, you don't eat poison oak," Moon
|
|
Roach grunted, "god you are so lame."
|
|
Matt had managed to learn how to eat flowers from Moon Roach, who had
|
|
donned his antenne and tights, and was not in an all too good of mood,
|
|
babysitting Matt here at the bottom of the canyon floor. Not only had some
|
|
chair flew down out of the sky and bashed Matt senseless, but Matt had stupidly
|
|
tried to eat poison oak, and he was heckticly barfing his brains out, which,
|
|
actually, couldn't hurt, since they were senseless, anyway. Heave. Caugh.
|
|
Heave.
|
|
"This is disgusting, Matthew." And with that Moon Roach took off and
|
|
jumped along the roads to the top of the mountain. Later he is said to be,
|
|
on an hourly basis, throwing chairs over the side of the mountain, and strangly
|
|
enough, there was always a screem when it hit bottom, and Matt hadn't come back
|
|
for quite some time now.
|
|
Meanwhile, in the alcove at the east side of the South Side of the Sky's
|
|
mountain retreat, Daredevil and Ruby were lying on some mounds of sand that
|
|
were dragged up by Matt just hours earlier. The sun shone between the clouds
|
|
and this part of the mountain was lovely.
|
|
"Ruby," started Daredevil, "I'd like to tell you exactly what we are
|
|
planning on doing, because I think we are going to need some help."
|
|
"Sounds okay to me, Daredear," she said dreamily.
|
|
"Well, you see, this old group that used to write text files in the far
|
|
past has just gotten together again. Called "Rhadamanthine Dungeonwriters".
|
|
And just recently, they have been the heads of the merger between Bfb, Shadow
|
|
Stories, and us. Essentially, Alex is the head of that group of 20 or so
|
|
people, Shadow Stories is essentially Dark Shadow and a couple of his friends,
|
|
and there's lots of BfB boards, but the only text files I've seen that are
|
|
official BfB text files are by A Modem User. So putting it all together, we've
|
|
got about 30 people all together, under Alex's and my supervision."
|
|
"Daredear, why are you telling me this?" She asked innocently.
|
|
"Because," he said, just a little annoyed, "we have been flat on our text
|
|
files lately, and we needed new ideas. There's another thing though..And thank
|
|
god it relies on 'safety in numbers' or we'd be dead by ourselves."
|
|
"Dare- What are you getting at?" She said, now seriously worried.
|
|
Just then, out of the mist on the north side of the alcove, stolled Dark
|
|
Shadow. Wearing a flowing black cape and a top hat and cane, his grace and
|
|
elegance blocked out the sun in a 2 foot radius of him. He graced over to
|
|
Daredevil and Ruby, and lifted his cap to her.
|
|
"Daredevil old chap. Nice to see you again, old bean!" He removed his
|
|
hat and cane, and placed them between Dare and Ruby. "I must say, old chap,
|
|
I do need to have a word out with you, indeed!" He commented.
|
|
"Sounds okay to me," Said Daredevil, then turned to Ruby, "do you mind,
|
|
dear?"
|
|
"No, of course not."
|
|
"Thank you kindly, madam." bowed Dark Shadow, and picked up his hat and
|
|
cane and followed Daredevil into the mist.
|
|
Walking down the lane with Dark Shadow, Daredevil noticed Dark's left
|
|
arm wasn't swinging as much, as a matter of fact it wasn't moving at all.
|
|
Just lying on his side. "Is everything alright," he asked.
|
|
"No." Said Dark Shadow. "Things are pretty bad. I've taken the liberty
|
|
of moving my fellows into the cars, and they are ready to go when we need to.
|
|
I brought this," he said, pulling a long granite object from his left arm,
|
|
which now moved fine. "It has all the stuff packed in the middle. You
|
|
probably won't need it, but if you do, just knock it on the ground as hard as
|
|
you can, and hold it in the end while you hit whatever you need. The end is
|
|
the side with the black mark on it." Daredevil looked. Indeed, there was
|
|
a black streek at the tip of one of the ends.
|
|
"Wouldn't it get me, too?" He asked.
|
|
"No. When the other end explodes, a metal unbrella type device springs
|
|
out and will protect whoever is on the black side. Be very careful, and if
|
|
you don't hit it hard enough, you won't know it isn't going to work till its
|
|
too late." He groaned.
|
|
"Thanks, D.S." Daredevil noticed how, despite the diametre being at
|
|
least 1-1.5 inches, the rod was suprisingly light. "Anything else?"
|
|
"Just one thing. Why is A Modem User in so much trouble, and why can't
|
|
he save himself."
|
|
"It's a long story."
|
|
"We seem to have plenty of time."
|
|
Daredevil walked on, and told him.
|
|
|
|
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
Sitting up, A Modem User got his daily fix of coffee, and looked out his
|
|
window. He noticed nothing special in the other building..The normal boredom
|
|
of it all was so...lame. He walked outside onto the dusty street and looked
|
|
as the cars came by. Walking down the street, he noted how Brazil was quite
|
|
Western-town-ish. The bars, the dusty streets, just reminded him of home. He
|
|
sighed. "Sigh." Looking down an alley he noticed a truck, loading something
|
|
from the Olympia building. Wondering why, he walked up and watched them load
|
|
stuff into the building. Crates of stuff. "Terrific." He mumbled, and
|
|
stupidly tried to carry a crate away by himself. Lame as it is, he got away
|
|
with it, and brought it back to his room. Opening it up, he found it to be
|
|
tons of silly puddy. But he is no fool. He knew it to be plastique..The
|
|
question was...Did they know how to use it? He took himself into the other
|
|
room and looked out across the street into the window. Yep. They were
|
|
making bottles and rabbits out of the plastique. "That means one of two
|
|
things," he said, "either, A, they are extremely stupid, or B, they are
|
|
planning on sending me some pretty nifty presents. Probably both." He
|
|
sighed. Taking some of the plastique out of the box, he wetted it down,
|
|
and thru a couple chucks onto the window across the street. "This looks
|
|
promising," he muttered alone to himself.
|
|
|
|
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
Eric C. Thompson ran out of the mist carrying the helpless almost-bone
|
|
form of Matt Ackeret. Crying, Eric ran out of the room and up towards the
|
|
herbal plants he was going to tend Matt with. Grunt. Snort.
|
|
Click-click-click-click...Alex was writing a letter...
|
|
|
|
Dear President-in-cheif, head-honcho, big guy of Rhadamanthine Dungeonwriters,
|
|
|
|
I have tried to live up to my faithless followings, and do my job
|
|
to the best of my ability. Unfortunately, I have failed. Each time I
|
|
try to write a conclusion to anything, I fall flat. There is no way to
|
|
end a fantastic story such as the one I'm sure you were proud that we did.
|
|
It is with this regret in mind, that I submit my resignation. Please
|
|
understand somethings are just too good to end. I will, however, stay on
|
|
until we have finished the current issues with Anarchy, Shadow Stories, and
|
|
Boys from Brazil. Your merger for the short duration was a wonderful idea,
|
|
and I pray that the readers understand all we went through to find a file
|
|
good enough to do just that. I am sorry I have let you down, but at least,
|
|
I can proudly say we started something good, and lets hope we finish
|
|
something good.
|
|
|
|
With that, he printed it out, and disappeared into the fog for the last time.
|
|
|
|
|
|
"Are we ready?" Yelled Earl of Joe at the base of the mountain.
|
|
"We're ready!" Echoed the 30 or some voices silently awaiting the
|
|
transormation. Joe quietly sang...
|
|
|
|
I teleported home one night,
|
|
with Ron and Sid and Meg.
|
|
Ron stole Meggies heart away,
|
|
and I got Sidney's leg.
|
|
If I have to walk I'll do it,
|
|
even thru the vacuums of space,
|
|
but if you have to take me apart to get me there,
|
|
you can go in my place.
|
|
|
|
Singing, take me apart, take me apart,
|
|
Your brain must have sunk,
|
|
Cuz if you have to take me apart to get me there,
|
|
I'd have to be dead drunk.
|
|
|
|
Joe silently thanked Alex for writing music and more lyrics to the hitchhiker's
|
|
song..Why? He just liked it....Walking over to a small plunger, he yelled
|
|
"Here we go!" And slammed it down. Just at that instant, Matt ran up, all
|
|
green and yellow and screeming, as Eric ran after him calling something like,
|
|
"I can fix it, I can fix it!" And things that looked like buttercups or
|
|
venus fly traps in his hands. Earl smiled. He looked at the dust, it was
|
|
all stacked up in a neat pile. He looked at it with the knowledge of a job
|
|
well done. He looked at the dust, and remembered how the mountain used to be
|
|
there.
|
|
|
|
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
Jumping out of bed, A Modem User was greeted with a strange sight. An
|
|
old man, white robe, and a scythe by his side. "Come on you asshole, get your
|
|
butt out of bed and lets get going!" Alex was frustrated.
|
|
"Alex---Is that really you? You mean I wasn't..Oh shit!" Said A Modem
|
|
User, who had now pieced together the WHOLE problem. Olympia wasn't loading
|
|
those explosives for -him- they were loading them for -them-. AND THEY DIDN'T
|
|
know it wasn't just PLAY DOUGH! And that means...Cooking...Pottery...
|
|
"Yes!" Alex screemed, "I think you've figured it out yourself. Lets
|
|
get the fuck out of here!!!!!" And with that he and A Modem User were off.
|
|
Hopping in a "cab" Modem User noticed the Olympia building was cleared out.
|
|
No lights, no nothing. He saw the South Side of the Sky Mountain among the
|
|
valley and said, "Is that it?"
|
|
"Yes," yelled Alex back among the noise of the traffic and such.
|
|
"Why are we driving away from it?"
|
|
"It's a long story." And he told him.
|
|
|
|
"Come on everyone! You've done it! Now lets get the hell out of here!"
|
|
Yelled Daredevil. He loaded Baby Cakes, Ruby Tuesday, and anyone else into his
|
|
car and instructed Hacker Dave to get them out of here. There was only one
|
|
thing left. The dough, now loaded inside the mountain, had to be set off. The
|
|
plastique was one of the highest quality ever made, and the olympia members jus
|
|
t thought it was hot play-dough. Daredevil flinched. Pulling out his Granite
|
|
Explosive, he pounded it against the ground with a mighty "UMPH!" Pointing it
|
|
at the mountain, he rammed it into the side...Then noticed...The black side
|
|
was dissappeared into the mountain...Alex and A Modem User had just rolled out
|
|
into the clearing as the Umbrella inside the Granite Explosive popped out away
|
|
from Daredevil. In that split second Modem User yelled, Alex jumped, and Dare
|
|
devil took a very deep breath as the explosive detenated. He had put it in
|
|
the wrong way.
|
|
|
|
Modem User ran around the corner and found Matt being chased by Eric.
|
|
Tripping Eric, A Modem User grabbed Eric's plants and ran back to the cab.
|
|
Lighting the plants, A Modem User thru them into a hole in the mountain. He
|
|
jumped into the cab and they were off.
|
|
As they slowly disappated with the tied up Olympia members, Alex sat on
|
|
top of the cab and watched as the mountain blew up. Pieces of dust and chair
|
|
rained everywhere..Even a little where they were. No citizens were damaged,
|
|
but Dark Shadow sighed as he watched the mountain they worked years to put
|
|
up, go in mere seconds.
|
|
Alex, still in a morbid mood, recited one of his proverbs. "The illusion
|
|
of love becomes denser the farther you move from the source." Although it had
|
|
nothing to do, really, with the scene, it came across beautifully, and everyone
|
|
sighed as they finally faded out.
|
|
|
|
"So did it work out? Where's the mountain?" Asked Earl, back at home
|
|
port.
|
|
|
|
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
Pan in on a lonely mountain. Here, sits a man who only dreams. Dreams
|
|
of depression, morbidity--he stands, a prophet of gloom, doing his job to the
|
|
best of his mundane abilities. Using his mind to control his feelings and
|
|
emotions, a hoard of sorrow and pain is unwittingly locked up inside him.
|
|
Thru the mist a hand reaches out, with a printout of something. Alex reads
|
|
it...
|
|
|
|
To Top Commander of ground forces, Sire Alexander of Atlantis, R/Dw:
|
|
|
|
Unaccepted. We cannot loose one of our best writers because he cannot
|
|
end stories. Its natural, and I think, a sign of a writer who is above the
|
|
adverage. Don't worry, you'll get the knack in time, just keep trying, boy,
|
|
and don't give up! Damn, I didn't put you in the position you're in just for
|
|
nothing! I want you to shape up, and I've also received news. I want to
|
|
congradulate you on that wonderful scythework. That man would of been a goner
|
|
if you hadn't jumped in there the way you did. Highly commendable. Also, we
|
|
had an idea here at base-- We're thinking of letting you write an ongoing
|
|
series, a comedy one, because we've had enough of your surpressed feelings, its
|
|
time to let them out! It'll be a usual weekly installment, and we think you're
|
|
going to like it. Welcome to the real world of writing.
|
|
-Pres.
|
|
|
|
|