196 lines
9.1 KiB
Plaintext
196 lines
9.1 KiB
Plaintext
ÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜ
|
|
ݱ19 Mar 91±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±_ROR_-_ALUCARD_±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±Ý? Þ°
|
|
Ý Ý A Þ°
|
|
Ý Ý ?Þ°
|
|
Ý A ßßßßß°
|
|
Ý SCHOOL IS HELL -- Lessons 1 through 3 Tfile Þ°
|
|
Ý Distribution Þ°
|
|
ÜÜÜÜÜ Centere Þ°
|
|
Ý? Þ By: Powerful Paul - RoR - Þ°
|
|
Ý A Þ_____________________________________________________________________Þ°
|
|
Ý ?Þ Shawn-Da-Lay Boy Productions, Inc.úúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúÞ°
|
|
ÝÜÜÜÞÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÞ°
|
|
°°°The HQ of SDBP, inc - 415/849/2688°°The Electric Pub - 415/236/4380°°°°
|
|
°Primary Drop Sites°°°°°°Rat Head - 415/524/3649°°°°°Primary Drop Sites°°°
|
|
|
|
SCHOOL IS HELL
|
|
|
|
(Adapted from the cartoon by Matt Groening.)
|
|
|
|
Good morning, pupils. It's time for School is Hell -- So can the chatter,
|
|
you monkeys, and listen up.
|
|
|
|
[> Lesson 1: Is School Hell? <]
|
|
|
|
Quotes from those who know:
|
|
|
|
"Yep. School is hell."
|
|
"It ain't heaven."
|
|
"The concept makes me nervous."
|
|
"Hell school is."
|
|
"Will this be on the test?"
|
|
|
|
Teacher: "School is a place of learning. Where the sacred traditions of
|
|
our culture are passed on. Where children become acquainted
|
|
with today's ever-changing modern world. Where the adults of
|
|
tomorrow are prepared for fruitful employment and independent
|
|
thinking. You know, the only place where success comes before
|
|
work is in the dictionary."
|
|
|
|
Student: "And the only place where a diploma comes before mind-crushing
|
|
boredom is fantasyland."
|
|
|
|
What school does to your brain:
|
|
|
|
Infancy: "What's happening?"
|
|
Emotional state: Happy, confused.
|
|
|
|
Nursery school: "Something going to happen."
|
|
Emotional state: Jumpy, screechy.
|
|
|
|
Grade School: "Very little is happening."
|
|
Emotional state: Hopeful yet fearful.
|
|
|
|
Junior high school: "Nuthin's happening."
|
|
Emotional state: Psychotic
|
|
|
|
High school: "Nuthin's still happening."
|
|
Emotional state: Giddily depressed.
|
|
|
|
College: "In an uncaring, meaningless universe, what can possibly
|
|
happen?"
|
|
Emotional state: Drunk or despairing.
|
|
|
|
Adulthood: "What happened?"
|
|
Emotional state: Unhappy, confused.
|
|
|
|
An honest teacher speaks out to the youth:
|
|
"School is teachers who don't knowing teaching facts that aren't true
|
|
to kids who don't care. Any questions?"
|
|
|
|
Unfortunately, the class is asleep.
|
|
|
|
[> Lesson 2: Nursery school-The hellishness begins >]
|
|
|
|
"Cheer up, my little one. You have only 14 to 18 years of school to
|
|
go."
|
|
|
|
Oh boy! Nursery school!
|
|
At last! An escape from home, from the endless hours of TV game
|
|
shows and soap operas, from the tedious crawling over the same boring
|
|
floors, watching the same boring dust balls--An escape from isolation
|
|
and forced naps and hidden cookies. WELCOME! WELCOME TO THE
|
|
ROUGH-AND-TUMBLE WORLD OF NURSERY SCHOOL HIGHJINKS!
|
|
"You mean to say it's not a jail for children?"
|
|
For goodness' sake, no. That won't begin for another year or two.
|
|
|
|
Those other little creatures--Are they demons or what?
|
|
Those little creatures who are poking, pinching, and hitting you are
|
|
not monsters, animals, or TV images--They are small, powerless human
|
|
beings just like yourself. You might wish to poke, pinch, and hit
|
|
them to make sure.
|
|
|
|
Fatigued? Nervous? Freaked out?
|
|
Try rocking back and forth, rolling your head around, sucking your
|
|
thumb, or clutching at your genitals. DRIVES ADULTS CRAZY.
|
|
|
|
Things to do:
|
|
1. Form small tribes.
|
|
2. Set up a hierarchy, complete with rules, bosses, and taboos.
|
|
3. Disdain the opposite sex.
|
|
4. Forage and hoard. (blocks, dolls, etc.)
|
|
5. Brutalize outsiders.
|
|
6. Take breaks for juice and cookies.
|
|
|
|
This is probably your last chance to be artistic!
|
|
That's right!! Seize the opportunity to experiment with gleeful
|
|
abandon, before they show you how to do it right, and ruin
|
|
everything. Hold a brush in each hand! Paint on the table! See
|
|
what paint tastes like! Paint on the floor! Paint on other kids!
|
|
Paint on yourself! Spend the rest of your life futilely trying to
|
|
recapture the spontaneity!
|
|
|
|
Secret Nursery school fun.
|
|
During naptime, lie on your little blanket on the floor and feign
|
|
sleep. When the teacher walks by, you can look up her dress.
|
|
Your education has now begun.
|
|
|
|
[> Lesson 3: The wild, wild world of kindergarten >]
|
|
|
|
"Remember: What's learnt in the cradle lasts till the tomb."
|
|
"Tomb? Tomb? What's this about a tomb?"
|
|
|
|
Welcome! Welcome to kindygarden, or, as some of the less mature among you
|
|
call it, kindygardy. That's right! No more wimpy little baby school for
|
|
little babies--This is the big time.
|
|
|
|
What they do to you in kindygarder:
|
|
First, they make you leave all your cool shiny war toys and sexy
|
|
plastic dolls at home. Instead, they give you a bunch of clunky,
|
|
dirty, worn, boring toys made out of dumb wood or something. True,
|
|
these toys have fascinating chew marks on them, but they are really
|
|
really really really really hard to break. Okay, then the lady makes
|
|
you do stuff, like march around and sit still and sing songs and
|
|
listen to stories about bunnies. The bunny stories can be quite
|
|
amusing, actually. Then you go outside to play. Go for the
|
|
swings--they're the funnest. Then it's back inside for crackers and
|
|
warm juice. You can cause a ruckus by calling it "worm juice."
|
|
|
|
Kindergarden is the last place you'll be able to ask any question that comes
|
|
to mind without fear of getting smacked in reply.
|
|
"Can dogs meow?"
|
|
"Is up down?"
|
|
"Is tomorrow today?"
|
|
"Why is your nose so big?"
|
|
"Will you be dead when I grow up?"
|
|
"If God is everywhere, is he in the toilet?"
|
|
"Can cats oink?"
|
|
WARNING: You may be smacked anyway.
|
|
|
|
Big mean grown-ups and their sneaky tricks
|
|
|
|
They will try to get you to incriminate yourself:
|
|
"Did you break those bottles?"
|
|
"NO!!!!"
|
|
It is easy to see through this tactic.
|
|
|
|
Beward of their crafty manuevers. Don't let them catch you off-guard
|
|
"How did you break those bottles?"
|
|
"I pushed them off the table."
|
|
A common blunder.
|
|
|
|
Here's the tried-and-true response to all blame-seeking queries.
|
|
"Who broke those bottles?"
|
|
"HE did!!!"
|
|
|
|
So kindygarter is fun, even though they don't have any TV there and the big
|
|
lady talks too much and she pins notes to your clothes because she thinks
|
|
you're so stupid you'll lose'em on the way home. The good part is
|
|
kinnergarten lasts forever but the bad part is it really doesn't.
|
|
|
|
ÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜ
|
|
ÜÝÄ’œ�›Š úúúúúúúúúúúúúúú THE HOLLOW'S ALLIANCE úúúúúúúúúúúúúúú AliceÄÞÜ ú
|
|
ÜÝÄ (415)849-2688 Ÿ‰‰ë æ”�r hîŽë (415)849-2688 ÄÞÜ ú
|
|
ÜÝ ÄÄ Ä Ä Ä Ä Ä Ä T-file Distribution Cent-a-RoR Ä Ä Ä Ä Ä Ä ÄÄ ÞÜ ú
|
|
ÜÝDr. Murdock ú Powerful Paul ú RatSnatcher ú Sir Death ú Pressed RatÞÜ ú
|
|
ÜÝ ÄÄ Ä Ä Ä R o R - A l u c a r d Ä Ä Ä ÄÄ ÞÜ ú
|
|
ÜÝÄ The Corporate Headquarters of Shawn-Da-Lay Boy Productions, Inc.ÄÞÜ ú
|
|
ÜÝÄúúúú Ø úúúúSmooth is the Descent and Easy is the Wayúúúúú Ø úúúúúÄÞÜ ú
|
|
ÜÛßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßÛÜ ú
|
|
úúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúú
|
|
|
|
|
|
X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
|
|
Another file downloaded from: The NIRVANAnet(tm) Seven
|
|
|
|
& the Temple of the Screaming Electron Taipan Enigma 510/935-5845
|
|
Burn This Flag Zardoz 408/363-9766
|
|
realitycheck Poindexter Fortran 510/527-1662
|
|
Lies Unlimited Mick Freen 801/278-2699
|
|
The New Dork Sublime Biffnix 415/864-DORK
|
|
The Shrine Rif Raf 206/794-6674
|
|
Planet Mirth Simon Jester 510/786-6560
|
|
|
|
"Raw Data for Raw Nerves"
|
|
X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
|