445 lines
17 KiB
Plaintext
445 lines
17 KiB
Plaintext
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ÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜ
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ݱ13 Apr 90±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±_ROR_-_ALUCARD_±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±Ý? Þ°
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Ý friday Ý A Þ°
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Ý SHROOM09.DOC Ý ?Þ°
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Ý A ßßßßß°
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Ý Latex & Lobotomy in The Land of Else Tfile Þ°
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Ý Distribution Þ°
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ÜÜÜÜÜ Written by: Doctor Murdock Centere Þ°
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Ý? Þ X-tra help by: Mr. Miles, Roadster Tom, & Bud - RoR - Þ°
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Ý A Þ_____________________________________________________________________Þ°
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Ý ?Þ Shawn-Da-Lay Boy Productions, Inc.úúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúÞ°
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ÝÜÜÜÞÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÞ°
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°°°The HQ of SDBP, inc - 415/236/2371°°The Electric Pub - 415/236/4380°°°°
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°Primary Drop Sites°°°°°°Rat Head - 415/524/3649°°°°°Primary Drop Sites°°°
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ÚÄ¿ÚÄ¿ÚÄ¿ ÚÄ¿ÚÄ¿ÚÄ¿ÚÄ¿ÚÄ¿ÚÄ¿ÚÄ¿
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³R³³O³³R³ - ³A³³L³³U³³C³³A³³R³³D³
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ÀÄÙÀÄÙÀÄÙ ÀÄÙÀÄÙÀÄÙÀÄÙÀÄÙÀÄÙÀÄÙ
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It's time to Bbbbbaaa
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a
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aaaaa
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aa
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aaaaa
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aaa
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-_- aa
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-/ @ \- aaaiiiiiii
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/ @ +/ \ iiiiilllll
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: @ +/: "\ ll
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\_+/: : / ll
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\___ - lllll!
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\ \
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\ \
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::
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0/
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/\/ ÚÄÄÄÄÄ¿
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\ ÚÙ À¿
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Ú¿ ³ ³ ÚÄ¿
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Ú¿ ³³ ³ ³ ³ ³
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³³ Ú¿ ô ³ ³ ³ ³
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ÚÙ³ ÚÙÀ¿ ³³ ³ ³ Ú¿ ³ ³
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³ ³ ³ À¿ÚÁ´ ÚÙ À¿ ³³ ³ ³
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ÚÙ À¿ ³ ³³ ÀÄ¿ ³ ³ ³³ ³ À¿
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³ ³ ³ ³³ ³ ³ ³ ³À¿ ³ ³
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³ ³ À¿ ÚÙÀ¿ÚÄÙ ³ ³ ÚÙ ÀÄ¿ ³ ³
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³ ³ ³ ³ ³³ ³ ³ ³ ³ ³ À¿
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³ ³ ÚÄ¿ Ú¿ ³ ÀÄ¿³³ ÚÙ À¿ ³ ³ Ú¿ À¿ ³
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ÄÄÙ À¿ ³ ³ Ú¿ ³³ÚÙ ÀÙ³ ³ ³ ³ ³ ³³Ú¿Ú¿³ ³
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ÀÄÙ ³ ³³ Ú¿ÚÄ´³³ ³ ÚÄ¿ ³ ³ Ú¿À¿ ÃÂÙÀÙÀÙÀÙ ³
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ÀÄÄ¿ ³À¿ ³³³ À´³ ³ ³ ³ ³ ³ ³³ ³ ³³ À¿
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³ ³ ÀÄ´³³ ³³ @\ ÀÄÄÙ ÀÄÙ ÀÄÄÙÀÄÙ ÀÙ ³
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ÀÄÙ ÀÁÙ ÀÙ \ \ ÀÄÄÄ
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\ \
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\ \
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\ \ ____
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\ \ | : |
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\ \ | : |
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\ \________________| # |
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\_________________ ^=
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| o |
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| =": |
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.----.
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^
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:
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/
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/
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Dr. Daiggers SECRET Underground Laboratory!!!!
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Dazzin & Fazzing. Amped as a mutherfucker!
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The doctor says I'm Passive Aggressive. ANd ya know, that just pisses me
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off!! But hey....what can ya gonna do about it?
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Ok, enough iron maiden, lets put on some led zep. <click> <switch> <whirrrrr>
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Ah...battle of evermore...good choice.
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Oh no...the Invaders are made out of LATEX! What do we do NOW?? I know....we
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have to all stand on our heads and chant the Omnibot 2000!! It's our only
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chance....
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<please hold while we change the water in the tank>
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<prerecorded station identification message>
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Black Dog! Great song! Hell...what Zep song isn't?
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ror, man...ror....
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HEY, MAN, YA GOTTA QUARTER?!?
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No...leave me be...here...have a magic shroom....
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THANX! <gulp!> Whoa. I like that. Boy....I'd buy THAT for a dollar!
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<zzzzzooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeee>
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Whats this----> P
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It's a Purple Worm! Watch out....they sometimes swallow you. If you kill
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this worm, ya know what ya get? ha. A purple microdot! What class is this
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under? Well, Potions of course! If you blindfold yourself, eat a floating
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eye, and quaff a potion of microdot....then you can instantly be teleported to
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the Wizard Of Yendor and his Hellhound Phydeaux. And if you repeat this
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process, you will find yourself armed with a +7 crysknife and a AC of -18,
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and the strength of a god. Repeat the process and you will receive a level
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of your own at # 69 filled with about 200 wands of wishing....23 wands of
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polymorph, 45 scrolls of taming, 9980 Amulets of Yendor, a tin of floating
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eye, 8545 potions of gain level, and 1 piece of gold.
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*- Things to do with a Ring of Polymorph control and a ring of Polymorph -*
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Turn into a aqua coloured shroom! Which will stand out like a missle base,
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when placed in reality. And a young fair girl is bound to come by and pick
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you from the ground. And when she sees "Eat Me" written all over your grin.
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She will....and then your in control of a magic mushroom inside a brain! What
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FUN!
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Or turn into a grain of heroin and be shot via hypo needle into some persons
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vein! Talk about roller coaster rides! Theres no fun like that!
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Or turn into a purple coloured shroom, which Alice is sure to find first.
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Then when She reaches down to pick you, pop up and give her a kiss!! I love
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doing that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then she'll tell you a secret....
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Turn into a Pressed Rat and you can impersonate him at some fancy restaurant
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where he is supposed to meet Alice! Then you can meet her!
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Turn into a syringe that reads: Shoot Me!
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Never get a one way ticket going the wrong way.
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=-=-=-
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The body bags and little rags
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of children torn in two!
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The jellied brains of those who remain
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put the finger right on YOU!
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=-=-=-=-==-=-=-=-=-=-
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We now know the seclusionary zone is to the west.
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____
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The west......over that-away.....____----->
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I have a ssssssssssssstoodabeckar. And I have birds that sing! I have a
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burnt out wand of lightning. What? Oh oh. And an engagement ring. Mik Mik
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Fizzle Brak, give your dog a beer! Wha! Wha! <screeeeaaaaaamm!> You know
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you stuck my arm.... ..... . ..... .. i n t h e w r o n g p l a c e
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..
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.........y o u s t u p i d w h o r e!
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now i'm stuck.
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Eye of NEWT? Eye of FLOATING? Eye of CRYSTAL?
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I'd buy THAT for a quarter! <smick>
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,zoooooooooooonneeeee,
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,sssppppaaccee,
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,shift,
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,out,
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.
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0
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/|\
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/ \
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"What is that blue stuff dripping on my head?"
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It's Magic Mushroom Juice, of course....
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Why is it blue?
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Why isn't it red? I dUNNO! THEN SHADUP!
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So it's eating away at my brain now....should I yell?
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No,no,nope,nope...............n.o.
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Should clean up the mess, it's
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overflowing!!!
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Nonononnonononono...leave it!
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Could you pass me some water, my brain is on fire.....
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No.
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Then my brain will bake to a crisp and then where will
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I be?
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I dunno.....Somewhere Else?
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Lord....I never thought of that.
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Thats because your brain is on fire.
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Ok,ok....I have important and secret things to do
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so please leave me alone now.....
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Bye........<shift out>
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Now.....that I'm alone.....I could roast marshmallows on my head. Hmmm...but
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I don't have any marshmallows.
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<shift in> - WHy don't you try playing a game?
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Huh? What game?
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Word Association, of course! Here...ready...set...GO!!!
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WORD ASSOCIATION:
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hit/fit/fry/die/fall/land/somewhere/else/ha/hah
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cow/blue/mushroom/spacey/laurie/led zeppelin/sodimize/whip/chain/bondage
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fire/torch/red/cloud/mushroom/bomb/bong/run/run/run/run/run/run
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depth/darl/sea/monster/city/mermaid/air/fish/eyeball/cow/birthday
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flower/rent/moon/zipper/burger king/tire/pocka-dot/mailbox
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drill/head/wire/machine/mind snatchers/addiction/monkey/death
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fossil/earth/green/frog/croak/newt/automatic/c-6/ford/afx/sohc/#1
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daze/faze/maze/rat/thief/knife/blood/kill/trap/cage/alone/insane/dark/blind
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red/dragon/teeth/fire/hot/sun/star/planet/bomb/death/ouch
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flipin-at/sttogeba/zilding/ick ick/ror, man/filpogah/lip/ildosnacker/phwip
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<WE INTERRUPT THIS BROADCAST FOR STATION IDENTIFICATION AND SANITY CHECK.>
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"WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAA!!! LOOP LOOP! HAAAAAAAAAA!"
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<WE INTERRUPT THIS BROADCAST TO INFORM YOU THAT YOU HAVE PASSED YOUR SANITY
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CHECK. PLEASE PROCEED THROUGH THE FOLLOWING DOOR...>
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ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ ÚÄÄÄÄ¿ 8 Rabbit
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À¿ ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ ³ ³ÚÄÄ¿³ Tron has hidden secrets
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ÀÄ¿ÀÄÄÄfnordÄÄÄÄÄÙ ³ ÚÙ³ÚÄÙ³ ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ of power. Watch this
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ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ ³ ³³Ú¿³ ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ ³ continuously. Until
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À¿ÀÙÀÙ³ Ú¿ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ ³ thy dnim catches fire.
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³ÚÄ¿ ³ ³³ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ ³ Only then can thy find
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ÚÄÄ ÚÄÄ / Steeeak! ³³ À¿³ ³³ ÚÄÄÄÄÄÙ ³ the magic end wrench.
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À¿³ ÀÄ¿ ÄÄÄÄ ³À¿ ³³ ÀÙ ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ
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Ä ³ ÄÄÙ/ \ ÀÄÙ ÀÙ
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I've just digested a kernal of corn......
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There are many stages to this procedure, you know......
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The ~Landing Party~ Exploration Ration Supply Kit #431-C
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1. A Thermose of Instant Ice-Tea
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2. 1 Tub of Popcorn (filled)
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3. 1 Snickers bar
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4. 1 Blueberry Muffin
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5. 1 Stellar Crusade Hints booklet
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--------------------
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Hmmmmmmm.......a very shrubbish planet. I mean to say, it's very flowery.
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What I mean is it's very gardinish. Uh, very bushy. What I meant say to say
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was, its very rOOoooooooooooooouuuuuuNNNNNNNNNddddddd.
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> Scan for Life
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Senors show that there is Life, sir!! Closer examination reveals that they
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are a highly intelligent species, and in turn are very primitive and evolved.
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But it seems that the species has directed it's entire existence to performing
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Lobotomies. They have lived this way for so long (approxamently 67.993
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billion secro years.) that they have adapted an addiction, and absolutely MUST
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perform a lobotomy on a live specimen! If they try to fight the erge, their
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body goes into convulsions within a 6 hour period, until it die of heart
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failure. So you can see, that living with or next to any of these terrestrial
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life forms just may prove hazardous. [Do YOU know your neighbors??] As I was
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saying, Captain....because of this species unconditional MUST to lobotomise
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live specimen/persons (usually their own race), which has kept total
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population of the species, at 12,900 and a half. And very dangerous.
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>Hmmmm. Try communicating with them.
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I've sent a CPST (Communicating Party Squad Troop).
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>Ok.
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OH MY GOD!! CAPTAIN, 98% OF THE CREW HAS BEEN LOBOTOMIZED!!!!!!!!
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Captain, they ship came back with 13 emotionless zombies and 2 unharmed men.
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Lord, that was tragic.
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>Send the two unharmed men to debriefing room #77. Send all of the injured
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men and de-lobotomize them.
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But, Captain...you CAN'T De-Lobotomize someone.
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>........oh. Well, send them to Art classes and record all of their works.
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Yes, Captain. And may I add....that was a GREAT decision. And shall I inform
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their families?
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>no. Keep it a very big, dark, secret for years and years. If this got out
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we would be demoted down to janitor. This is just like that damn incident
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with the genetic limb multiplyer serum.
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Yes, terrible lose, Sir.......
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>So don't tell a soul. And I'll be monitoring your mail for the next month.
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In fact, identify yourself at THIS moment! Switch to Monitors!
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gj 9
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jhk k 78 645
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kg jk7
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hj 0 5 0 4
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iuk 5 5456
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55 5
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5 5 5 5 5555
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S 5 555555 S
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S S S
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S SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS S
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S '' '' S
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S ` , , ' S
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S ,, ,, S
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SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
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*
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HEY, BOZZ MAN! Sorry but all controls are shiftin, man...shiftin!
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You're on your own down there.
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>Very Well. Please send a Vixen maid up to my room for my daily brain scan.
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Oh, and what about the two unharmed soldiers?
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Uh....um, they were accidently killed in transport from the docking bay to the
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interrogation room. It seems that one of the guard dropped his billy club and
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one of the studies tripped on it and fell with a fatal concussion. And as he
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was falling down he grabbed onto study #2 and in turn, HE tripped and rolled
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down the hallway and was picked up by a Hallway Garbage Drone, who through him
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into the Waste shaft. he was shot out into open space, and imploded. It was
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as equally a disgusting site to look at, as it was to collect the remains and
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dispose of it properly. You see the bloody imploded remains floated right in
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front of the pre-school playgroud bubble, the church of valex nuit, the
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mayors office, the union for freedom of animals, the senior citizens bingo
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tournaments, and the Shawn-Da-Lay Boy newstand on 27th and Hayte.
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>Your fired. Please kill yourself imedietely.
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Yes, Sir! Goodbye!
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<Sssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiifffffffffffffffttttttttttttttttttt>
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Prologue:
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And as it turned out....these lobotomized artists from the
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planet GidKrupit manage to construct the Scribes of the Wise Council! Which
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now resides in the possession of the goddess Isabeau. Aka: The BIG Book, The
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Bible of Else, The Book. All of the artists died off about 100 years ago.
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The Gid's tried to duplicate the process but to no avail. So they went back
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to the planet of the lobotomizing species, but have yet to even get within 10
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feet of a lobotomizer without being dropped to the ground and lobotomized with
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the greatest agility, their incisions are cut with fine tune severs, their
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stitchings like that of the most professionaly trained surgeon. Not a single
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Capture party has succeded! To this day the secrets of Lobotomy remain a
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mystery. Is Lobotomy the Answer?
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Why of COURSE it is, dood...........................<zone...>
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X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
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Another file downloaded from: NIRVANAnet(tm)
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& the Temple of the Screaming Electron Jeff Hunter 510-935-5845
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The Salted Slug Strange 408-454-9368
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Burn This Flag Zardoz 408-363-9766
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realitycheck Poindexter Fortran 510-527-1662
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Lies Unlimited Mick Freen 415-583-4102
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Tomorrow's 0rder of Magnitude Finger_Man 415-961-9315
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My Dog Bit Jesus Suzanne D'Fault 510-658-8078
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New Dork Sublime Demented Pimiento 415-566-0126
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Specializing in conversations, obscure information, high explosives,
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arcane knowledge, political extremism, diverse sexuality,
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insane speculation, and wild rumours. ALL-TEXT BBS SYSTEMS.
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Full access for first-time callers. We don't want to know who you are,
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where you live, or what your phone number is. We are not Big Brother.
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"Raw Data for Raw Nerves"
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X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
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845
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The Salted Slug Strange 408-454-9368
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Burn This Flag Zardoz 408-363-9766
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realitycheck Poindexter Fortran 510-527-1662
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Lies Unlimited Mick Freen 4‚ü
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"Raw Data for Raw Nerves"
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X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
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