130 lines
6.2 KiB
Plaintext
130 lines
6.2 KiB
Plaintext
From werner Tue Aug 29 22:34:03 1989
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Flags: 000000000001
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Received: by rascal.ics.utexas.edu (3.2/4.22)
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id AA19709; Tue, 29 Aug 89 22:34:02 CDT
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Date: Tue, 29 Aug 1989 22:33:59 CDT
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From: Werner Uhrig <werner@rascal.ics.UTEXAS.EDU>
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Reply-To: werner@rascal.ics.utexas.edu (Werner Uhrig)
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To: humourous-backbone
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Subject: [Anonymous: How DEC Works (Australian Perspective)] ]
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Message-Id: <CMM.0.88.620451239.werner@rascal.ics.utexas.edu>
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------- Forwarded Message
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Date: Tue, 29 Aug 89 16:02:41 -0700
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From: <anonymous person at DEC>
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Subject: How DEC Works (Australian Perspective)
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Probably typical of most large companies; still, it seems
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accurate.
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[Headers deleted to protect the guilty. Make sure you remove mine
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if you forward!]
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Someone put the question to me the other day: What are the
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relationships between Enterprise Services, System Integration, Large
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Projects, Account Management, Prime Contracting and all the variants
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of these.
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Since this is a common question, I've taken the trouble to get it all
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down in writing for you.
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To answer your question, we really have to understand how Digital
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operates. Visualize a whole series of playing fields spread out on a
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vast plain, stretching out to the horizon in all directions. On each
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field, there are several teams, of different sizes and types, but
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there are only about a dozen different coloured uniforms, and teams of
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each colour seem to have a bond with each other that spans the many
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playing fields.
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Some fields are large, and have all the colours represented, smaller
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ones have only a few. There is one called SPR that is unique in having
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all the colours, yet is only a very small field, and is so crowded the
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players can hardly move.
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On each field the teams jostle and push each other around, sometimes
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they kick a ball around, other times they throw rocks at each other,
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and for long periods will huddle in small groups mumbling in low
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voices so the other teams can't hear. At random intervals, some
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members of a team will gather on the sideline and yell insults at
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members of the same coloured team in a neighbouring field. We do not
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yet understand why they do this, but both parties seem to find it most
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enjoyable.
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Occasionaly, all the other teams in a field will gang up on another
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one, and succeed in destroying it; the members of the victim team
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either become members of other teams, or are driven off the playing
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field. No-one has ever figured out the rules that apply to these games
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on the playing fields, although it is fairly certain that the players
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themselves do know.
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Every now and again, play stops, and the parade begins. We do know
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that whoever leads the parade wins, and the extraordinary thing is
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that the teams from each field always form up in the almost the same
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colour sequence. The parades are a lot of fun, with bands and drums
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all competing with each other, and much cheerfull banter between the
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teams.
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The right to lead the parade seems to be associated with various
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banners, standards and flags that the teams occasionaly fight over
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during play. The banners change from time to time, and have letters or
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words such as OSF, Enterprise Services, Customer Services, LCG, 36 is
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better than 32, Level of Service, Network is the System, Own the
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Database, B$ST, Follow the Marketing Plan, UNIX, Sell Solutions,
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FMD's, Large Projects, DPM, Solution Selling, and so on. When play
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stops and the parade begins, whoever owns certain flags gets a better
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position in the parade.
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In the centre are some extra large playing fields, and we know these
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are called 'Corporate'; confusingly, all the others around this centre
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are called the 'Field'.
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The teams on the coporate fields have the ability to create flags and
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banners, which they do so in great secrecy; if another team suspects a
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flag is being made, they will try and tear it up. When a new flag is
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ready, it is taken out to as many of the other fields as possible, and
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the teams on each field will fight over it, or ignore it, or even
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share it, although this is rare. We have never been able to predict
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how the 'Field' teams will react to a new flag.
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Well, those are the rules. Lets see what's been going on with the
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banners 'Account Management', 'Enterprise Services', 'Large Projects',
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and 'System Integration'.
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Account Management has always been owned by a team called Sales; from
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time to time other teams get a hand on it, but the most they ever
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acheive is to share it for a while. Mostly the other teams seem to
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thinks Sales should have it, and concentrate on arguing that it is not
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as large and important a banner as Sales says it is. 'Large Projects'
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is a new banner, and we're not sure where it came from. It is only a
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flag really, but there has been a lot of squabbling around it, mostly
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over how to share it. Sales seem to be very determined to own it
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exclusively, perhaps to shore up the 'Account Management' banner. The
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other teams are are not sure they want to own this flag, but don't
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want Sales to own it.
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Enterprise Services is a biggie. It was made by a Corporate team, one
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of the marketing ones, who showed it to a few of the playing fields
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near Corporate. A team called 'Field Service' saw it first, and ran
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off with it, and gave it to every Field Service team on the plain.
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Only then did all the other teams see what a useful banner it was, and
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start to fight for it. Here in SPR, a team called SWS, with help from
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other teams, has managed to get a hand to it, and so now it is a
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shared banner.
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Meanwhile, on one of the corporate fields, the head of the SWS team
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has grabbed a new banner called 'System Integration' and is trying to
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establish it as a more important banner than 'Enterprise Services'.
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This is still in play, so I can't actually answer your question right
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now, but I think you'll have a better feel for how the game is played,
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and this should increase its entertainment value for you.
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I can tell you there is a big game scheduled for Monday, March the
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13th, in Chatswood and I've all got a ticket to the main stand. I'll
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give you all a ball-by-ball account on my return.
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------- End of Forwarded Message
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