55 lines
3.2 KiB
Plaintext
55 lines
3.2 KiB
Plaintext
A New Personal Computer
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The personal computer industry was shocked recently when Penthouse merged
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with Commodore and entered the PC market. The venture will be introducing the
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Penthouse Pet, a VERY personal computer designed to satisfy a variety of users'
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needs.
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Planning a new line of velvet and satin soft-wear, the company's Times Square
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R+D facility is working on applications packages for the home entertainment
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market. One of the niftier applications is a word processing package called
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SLEAZY WRITER, which can generate an almost infinite number of Penthouse Forum
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letters using a vocabulary of only fifty words. Other packages include
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Accounts Painable, Visi-Crotch, a Eunichs Operating System, Electronic Male,
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and a graphics package featuring 200 different shades of pink. A user-friendly
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language called VIRGIN will guide first time-timers every step of the way.
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One of the main research thrusts is to develop a warm man-machine interface.
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According to Penthouse sources, "erotica is simply an extention of ergonomics."
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The Pet terminal has been designed with a ribbed exterior and comes in a
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variety of tropical colors. California publisher Blue Boy is offering an AC/DC
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power supply. A company spokesman also lauded the Pet's portability. "With
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Moisture-resistant packaging, you can take your Pet anywhere -- you can go
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swimming with it, take it into the Jacuzzi, or even go to bed with it!"
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In addition, the Penthouse Pet will be able to interface with the next
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generation of interactive videodiscs. Users will be able to pick from a wide
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variety of fantasies with the aid of a groan-activated selector. Of course,
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the system comes with a joystick!!
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For the party market, Penthouse has developed a Local Area Network called
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ORGYNET, which the company claims is a breakthrough in compatibility. With the
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ORGYNET input-output port, you can stick your plug right in. A cluster
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controller has also been designed to satisfy the interactive needs of up to
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four users at a time. Unlike other LAN's that use a single coaxial cable,
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ORGYNET features a tangle of coax (OEMed from Cox) and uses TSMA (tactile sense
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multiple access) to allow up to 69 users to interact with the system and each
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other simultaneously. Although Penthouse reports that ORGYNET can sustain
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prolonged interactive sessions, insiders report that the throughput peaks after
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about 30 seconds.
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The Pet will be distributed by Frederick's of Hollywood, local newsstands,
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and Sears. Penthouse is also strong in service and maintenance; S+M will be
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handled by a nationwide fleet of vans equipped with a variety of whips, chains
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and other tools.
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The new generation of personal computers was totally anticipated by the
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Yankee Group. From a limp beginning, the erotic information processing
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market has been rising in recent years and is now quite firm, although the
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recession has created some soft spots. Penthouse's strategy is to use its
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solid orders to enter the soft markets, jack up production when things get
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going, and pull out just before competitors come rushing to the market.
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