114 lines
5.3 KiB
Plaintext
114 lines
5.3 KiB
Plaintext
Oh the agony of delete !!
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Murphy was an optimist.
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Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
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All the good ones are taken.
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Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.
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If a program is useless, it must be documented.
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It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
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Glory may be fleeting, but the VAX is slow.
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I pledge allegiance to the VAX ...
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The other VAX always moves faster. But not by much
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A VAX a day keeps the doctor rich.
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You can make it foolproof, but you can't make it damn foolproof.
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No real problem has a VAX.
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If you cannot convince them, confuse them.
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To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a VAX.
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Whatever hits the fan won't be distributed evenly.
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Anyone can make a VAX given enough ignorance.
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No real problem needs a VAX.
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On a clear disk, you can seek forever.
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You can make it foolproof, but you can't make it VAX foolproof.
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Speak now or forever hold your peace.
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Using the VAX is fun, so is going to the dentist.
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The race is not to the swift, but to the VAX.
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That change is so simple, it doesn't need to be checked.
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White space is the easiest to read.
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What's the latest, DOPE!!
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Patience is a virtue, especially when working with a VAX.
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I like you, you amuse me.
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Intelligence is for people, not VAXs.
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Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead!!!
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Have you been VAXinated ?
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Donahue's law:
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Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.
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A neat desk is a sign of a sick mind.
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When should we evacuate ?
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There`s only two things that make life worth living.
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A VAX that runs good and firm feelin women.
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"The more I get to know men, the better I like my dog."
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Simplify, Simplify, Simplify.
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One man's constant is another man's variable.
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Tomorrow the VAX enters energy saving mode: DEAD.
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The purpose of computing is insight, not numbers.
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Teamwork is essential. It allows you to blame someone else.
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Smile...tomorrow will be worse.
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Most people deserve each other.
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As the VAX is enhanced, its performance will rise to a new level
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of incompetence.
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Project teams detest weekly progress reporting because
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it so vividly manifests their lack of progress.
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Sow your wild oats on Saturday night -- then on Sunday pray for crop failure.
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The performance of a VAX is inversely proportional to its degree
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of enhancement.
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The sooner you fall behind, the more time you have to catch up.
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Profanity is the one language all VAX programmers know best.
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A carelessly planned project takes 3 times longer than expected;
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a carefully planned one takes only twice as long.
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TOTALLY new head !! TOTALLY.
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To spot the expert, pick the one who predicts the job will
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take the longest and cost the most.
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No matter how well you do your job, a superior will seek to modify the results.
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Our penultimate goal is the defenestration of a cockalorum into an oubliette.
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Nothing is ever so bad that it can't get worse.
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31 files, with 31 pointers, with 31 characters, with 31 ...
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Don't believe in miracles, rely on them.
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Simple jobs always get put off because there will be time to do them later.
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If you're feeling good, don't worry. you'll get over it.
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Watch what you say, VAXs have feelings too.
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That's probably why the VAX is always going down!
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A bird in the hand is worth more than two VAX's in the computer center.
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Don't believe in miracles, rely on them. Especially when working on a VAX.
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Sales people's claims for performance should be multiplied by .25
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A BIRD IN THE HAND IS SAFER THAN ONE OVERHEAD.
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Any given programm when running, is obsolete.
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An ounce of application is worth a ton of abstraction.
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Once you open a can of worms, the only way to recan them is to use a bigger can.
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Claims for DEC software should be multiplied by 0.0
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It works better if you plug it in.
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In any human enterprise, work seeks the lowest hierarchal level.
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There's always one more bug.
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There's always one more bug, especially in the new DEC software release.
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The value of a program is proportional to the weight of its output.
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In any hierarchical organization, the higher the level,
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the greater the confusion.
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Watch what you say, VAXs have feelings too.
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If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.
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The organization of any bureaucracy is very much like a septic tank
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the relly big chunks rise to the top.
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Quote of the day
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A man who can't spell a word at least three different ways has no
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imagination.
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ben franklin
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An ounce of image is worth a pound of performance.
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You can't teach an old COW new tricks.
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Sorry, the user friendly liveware is down today...
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Milk is nature's soft drink. { FOR COWS }
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The purge that refreshes...
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In every hierarchy, a worker rises to his level of incompetence.
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If your program is perfect, it'll be lost when the system crashes.
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Don't give up hope; someday, somewhere, you'll find an available terminal.
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With two eyes and one tongue, you should see twice as much as you say.
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There's no such thing as gravity, the earth just sucks!
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little drops of water, little grains of sand, when they turn to gall stones
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they hurt to beat the band.
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The problem with the VAX is that it does what you tell it !
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The problem with the VAX is that it does what you tell it, plus a little more!
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The other batch always moves faster.
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When in doubt, read directions.
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Don't take life to seriously, your not getting out of it alive anyway.
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You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her drink.
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