113 lines
3.9 KiB
Plaintext
113 lines
3.9 KiB
Plaintext
Snott fr}n SigNet.
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Whats purple and sits in a corner? A baby playing with a plastic bag.
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What's green and sits in a corner? The same baby three weeks later.
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What's black and sits in a corner? A baby with it's finger in a power point.
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What's more fun than nailing a baby to a wall? Ripping it off again.
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What's more fun than spinning a baby on a clothes hoist at 100mph? Stopping it
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with a cricket bat.
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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.
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What's the difference between a truckload of babies and a truckload of marbles?
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You can't load marbles with a pitchfork.
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What's green and spins around at 100mph? A frog in a blender.
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What's red and spins around at 100mph? A baby that's crawled in after it.
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What's black and spins around slowly? A foetus in a rotisserie.
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What do you call two abortions in a bucket? Blood brothers.
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What's red and sits in a corner? A baby playing with a razor blade.
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What's red and sits in a corner? A baby shaving its head with a potato peeler.
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What's blue and sits in a corner? A baby playing with a plastic bag.
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What's green and sits in a corner? The same baby three weeks later.
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What's black and sits in a corner? A baby with it's finger in a power point.
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What's more fun than nailing a baby to a wall? Ripping it off again.
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What's more fun than spinning a baby on a clothes hoist at 100mph? Stopping it
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with a cricket bat.
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Why did the baby cross the road? It was nailed to the chicken.
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What's the difference between a truckload of babies and a truckload of marbles?
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You can't load marbles with a pitchfork.
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What's green and spins around at 100mph? A frog in a blender.
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What's red and spins around at 100mph? A baby that's crawled in after it.
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What's black and spins around slowly? A foetus in a rotisserie.
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What do you call two abortions in a bucket? Blood brothers.
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What's blue and yellow and floats at the bottom of the pool? A baby with
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slashed water-wings.
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Why couldn't the baby turn around in the hallway? He had a javelin through his
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neck.
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What's black and bobs up and down? A baby in a toaster.
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What's the difference between an abortion and sand? You can't eat sand.
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What's BABYLON? The stuff you spray on babies before you iron them.
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What's purple, covered in pus and squeals? A peeled baby in a bag of salt.
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What squeals and goes around at 100mph? A baby in an electric fan.
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What's more fun than a barrel full of dead babies? A barrel full of dead babies
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with a live one on the bottom trying to get up.
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How do you get a baby out of a blender? With a straw.
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What's got four wheels, smokes and squeals? A bus load of babies on fire.
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What bounces up and down at 100mph? A baby tied to the back of a truck.
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What's brown and gurgles? A baby in a casserole.
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What's better than a baby in a bucket? The same baby in two buckets.
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What event nearly could have changed the course of history? The dingo of
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Bethlehem.
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What's the best babysitter you can get? A dingo.
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How do you bring up a baby? Kick a dingo in the stomach.
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Why is it so hard to breed dingoes? It takes 9 months to grow the food.
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What's a baby in a pram near Ayres Rock? Meals on Wheels.
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What's the definition of revenge? A baby with a dingo in it's mouth.
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Mummy! Mummy! I keep running around in circles. Shut up or I'll nail your other
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foot to the floor!
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Mummy! Mummy! I hate Daddy's guts. Well push them to the side of the plate dear
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and eat the vegetables.
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Mummy! Mummy! It's hot in here. Shut up or I'll close the oven door as well.
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Mummy! Mummy! Daddy's going out. Shut up and put some more petrol on him.
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Mummy! Mummy! I don't wanna go to America. Shut up kid and keep swimming.
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Mummy! Mummy! Can I lick out the bowl? No! Flush it out like everybody else!
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Mummy! Mummy! It's hot in here - can I come out? No! Do you want the fire to
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spread to the rest of the house as well?
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