50 lines
2.6 KiB
Plaintext
50 lines
2.6 KiB
Plaintext
You know you work for a defense contractor when:
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1. You sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies.
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2. Your company welcome sign is attached with Velcro.
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3. Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket.
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4. Your company logo on your badge is applied with stick-um.
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5. You have to call home to check the weather.
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6. When someone asks about what you do for a living, you lie.
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7. You get really excited about a 2% pay raise.
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8. You learn about your layoff on CNN.
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9. Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your best jokes.
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10. Your supervisor hasn't the ability to do your job assignment.
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11. You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet.
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12. Salaries of the members on the Executive Board are higher than all
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the Third World countries' annual budgets.
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13. Your home phone has no features like at work cuz you're never there.
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14. Your 2 year old kid knows how to get to your company and to your
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cube and it is referred to as daddy's/mommy's room.
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15. You think lunch is just a meeting to which you drive.
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16. It's dark when you drive to and from work.
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17. Fun is when issues are assigned to someone else.
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18. Communication is something your group is having problems with.
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19. You see a good looking person and know it is a visitor.
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20. A tie is hanging in your cube.
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21. Free food left over from meetings is your main staple.
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22. Weekends are those days your spouse makes you stay home.
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23. Being sick is defined as can't walk or you're in the hospital.
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24. Art involves a white board.
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25. You're already late on the assignment you just got.
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26. When 100% of your time means 20 hours.
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27. You work 200 hours for the $100 bonus check and jubilantly say "Oh wow, thanks!"
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28. All real work gets started after 5pm or on weekends.
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29. Everyone fights fires (i.e. problems).
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30. Dilbert cartoons hang outside every cube.
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31. Plants in your cube are healthier than your plants at home.
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32. Your boss' favorite lines are "when you get a few minutes", "in your
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spare time", "when you're freed up", and "I have an opportunity for you."
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33. 10% of the people you work with no one (boss included) knows what they do.
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34. Vacation is something you rollover to next year or a check you get every January.
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35. Your relatives and family describe your job as "works with computers"
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or "does something with bombs."
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36. Change is the norm.
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37. Nepotism is encouraged.
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38. The only reason you recognize your kids is because their pictures
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are hanging in your cube.
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39. You only have makeup for fluorescent lighting.
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And last but not least....
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40. You read this entire list and understood it.
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