223 lines
7.0 KiB
Plaintext
223 lines
7.0 KiB
Plaintext
Article 1778 of eunet.jokes:
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Path: santra!tut!draken!kth!enea!mcvax!ukc!warwick!geoff
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From: geoff@warwick.UUCP (Geoff Rimmer)
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Newsgroups: eunet.jokes
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Subject: Typical eunet.jokes articles
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Summary: eunet.jokes never changes!!!
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Message-ID: <968@ubu.warwick.UUCP>
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Date: 30 Jan 89 05:14:53 GMT
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Sender: news@warwick.UUCP
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Reply-To: geoff@emerald.UUCP (Geoff Rimmer)
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Distribution: eunet
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Organization: Computer Science, Warwick University, UK
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Lines: 206
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WHY IS EUNET.JOKES ALWAYS THE SAME??!?!?
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Every time I read it, it contains exactly the following articles.
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When I have read them, some new articles appear - which are identical
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in every way to the original set.
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------------------------------------------------------------
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Geoff Rimmer, Computer Science, Warwick University, England.
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geoff@uk.ac.warwick.emerald
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Here are the articles.....
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Article 10001
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Subject: :-) ("smileys")
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Hello eunet.jokers My name's Kevin, and I've just discovered a new
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way to show people which sentences are humourous. (although not very
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many in this newsgroup are! hee hee hee). If you put the 3 characters
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'colon' 'hyphen' 'close parenthesis' :-) it looks like a smiley face.
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(hee hee hee isn't it clever).
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I propose to call it a "smiley". Does anyone have any other similar
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"smiley"s that could be used in the future?
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Kevin "Smiley" Krump
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Newcastle Polytechnic, England.
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Article 10002
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Subject: Re: :-) ("smileys")
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<munch munch munch> (hee hee hee)
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In article 10001 Kevin Krump wrote...
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> I propose to call it a "smiley". Does anyone have any other similar
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> "smiley"s that could be used in the future?
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What a fantastic idea. I have been thinking of ways to show which of
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my sentences convey humour, and I think your new "smiley" convention
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should do the trick :-) (hee hee hee)
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Since reading your article, 5 minutes ago, I have produced a
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comprehensive list of alternative smileys, which through their
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individual and unique graphics, show a multitude of different meanings
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to the reader. Here they are :
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:-) The previous sentence is humourous.
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:-) The previous sentence is ironic.
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:-) The previous sentence is horrific.
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:-) The previous sentence is boring.
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:-) The previous sentence is sarcastic.
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:-) The previous sentence is another smiley.
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Hope you like them :-)
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---
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Kevin "Kevin" Kevin
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Hammersmith Odeon.
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Article 10003
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Subject: Joke
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Why did the chicken cross the road?
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To get to the other side.
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Alain DeCrapeau
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Article 10004
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Subject: Re: Joke
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In article 10003 Alain DeCrapeau wrote...
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:-) Why did the chicken cross the road?
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:-) To get to the other side.
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I suppose you think it's funny to make fun of chickens when there are
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2 million people unemployed in Britain today. Well, let me tell you
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something, it makes me sad that people like yourself who obviously
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don't care about ANYONE or ANYTHING, can spend your time trying to
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make us laugh when err, there are, err, women's rights, Thatcher's
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Britain, err, people being forced to work down coal mines, err... and
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a sickening 2 million people unemployed in Britain. What have you
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done to help unemployment in the past week? Nothing. You have
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selfishly taken it upon yourself to ignore the terrible plight of the
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unemployed and instead to write feeble jokes to a continent that don't
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want to read them and, errr, that's it.
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Ms Sheila Leftie from Brent, London.
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Article 10005
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Subject: Why is eunet.jokes always in English?
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Summary: Something should be done about it.
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Why is eunet.jokes always in English?
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Something should be done about it.
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Jacques Francais, Paris.
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Article 10006
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Subject: Re: Why is eunet.jokes always in English?
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Jacques, you raised some interesting points in your article.
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Marcel Guibbard, Paris.
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Article 10007
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Subject: Re: Why is eunet.jokes always in English?
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It's about time something was done about this problem. And just to
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show the English how much I hate them and their horrible language, I
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am going to be radical and tell the next joke in FRENCH!!!
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Pourquoi la poule a-t-elle traversee la rue?
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Pour arriver a l'autre cote.
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Ha! That showed the English.
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Kevine ("I'm French and proud of it"), Paris, France
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Article 10008
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Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Why is eunet.jokes always in English?
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Kevine, please please please give us English-speaking people a
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translation of your joke. I lie awake at night with a French
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dictonary trying to understand your humourous piece of writing, but I
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cannot figure out the meaning.
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Obligatory joke:
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"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
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"Because it was tied to the back of the train at the level crossing"
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James Pontington-Smythe from East Anglia, England.
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Article 10009
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Subject: ****** ALTERNATIVE COMEDY ******
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Why did the chicken cross the road?
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Fuck off you red nosed bastard.
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P.S. Can someone tell me how to ROT13 my jokes?
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--
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Steve the alternative comedian
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Mailing address: steve@blurfl.uk.ac.blurfl
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or steve@blurfl.uk.ac.blurfl
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Articles 10010, 10012, 10014-10358, 10472, 10856
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Subject: ROT 13 (was Re: Alternative Comedy)
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Here is how I ROT 13 my articles:
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main()
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{
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...
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}
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Article 20001
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Subject: Complete archive of all dead baby jokes
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[ I've ROT 13'd it twice just to make sure :-) ]
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What do you call a baby that's dead?
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A dead baby
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Steve Boring, Brunel University, England.
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Article 20002
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Subject: Icelandic joke
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Here is a joke from iceland.
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jiodf j g fjkldg jkdlf gjk jkgl jdfkgl djkgl jdfkgl jgkldfd lgjkdlg
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jdkflg jdklg jakfl. g jfdklg jfdkgla jkrlug jyreklg jyrkelj reilf
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jirlfj io;lj woelj fweol fiw hfilhfgijf iwej fiwoj fiow jfiore jgfyyj
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ior jgiorejgio jrogsj fg o[dsj sig shj shigjhifsdg jifd jgifds[poa gji
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jgifdjgiodrl jssg 'oaiq rjthirejtgtotslj gljg oslj gogj s'o g j orgj o
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s'jg o sj gosj goj ryoj reog; j/keog js'og jeoai. jogsj 'org joegj
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o;eg js'og kore;g kj 'o jg'o.
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And I bet you thought us Icelanders didn't have a sense of humour.
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Mr Eye Sland, Iceland University, Iceland.
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That's all folks!
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