110 lines
3.7 KiB
Plaintext
110 lines
3.7 KiB
Plaintext
Here is some truely tasteless information on lepers for nowhere else, but alt.tasteless.
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Q: What do you call a leper in a Hot Tub??
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A: STEW!!
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Q: Why did they stop the leper hockey game??
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A: There was a face off in the corner!
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Q: Why did they stop the Poker game??
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A: Someone threw in their hand!
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Q: What did the leper say to the hooker??
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A: Keep the tip!
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Q: Why did they kick the leper out of the party??
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A: The guests were using the back of his head as Cheese Dip!!
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Starting off we have Leper movies:
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It's A Wonderful Leper
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The Leper of Oz ("I'll get you my Leper", "We're off to see the Leper..." and
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of course "If I Only Had A Brain.."to name a few)
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The Naked Leper 1/2
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Dances With Leper's (Along with his endearing wolf, One Sock)
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101 Lepers
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Roboleper (Drop it, creep!)
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Silence of the Lepers
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The Sound of Lepers (The Hills Are...Alive?...)
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Sleeping With The Leper
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Pretty Leper (walking down the street, Pretty Leper, hey, aren't those -your-
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feet?)
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The Leper Mermaid (with her charming fish, Floundering..hehe)
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Who's That Leper?
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And my two personal favorites:
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My Left Foot
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Lord of the Flies
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And you can't forget all the leper-based music available:
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Leperfy My Love
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Lepers In The Stream (that is what we are, oh, we have no feet, and we have no
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arms, rot away with me til we're just some mold, with some flies on eachother
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uh-huh...)
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Leper's Just Wanna Have Fun (Feet?)
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Leperousy (Oh Leperousy, I'm not the man I used to be, now my skin is falling
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off of me, Oh I believe in Leperousy)
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Like A Leper (limbless for the very first time...)
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Leper Girl
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For All The Lepers I Loved Before
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She's Got Legs (and she knows how to lose 'em)
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And in the spirit of the Holiday:
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Silent Leper (,Holey Leper?)
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Oh Leperousy, Oh Leperousy! (German is "Oh Phaleng Limms...I believe)
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The Little Leper Boy (I gave my arm to him, Pa Rapa Pum-Pum...)
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Oh Leper Town of Bethlahem
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Deck The Halls (With Parts of Lepers Fa La La La La La La La La)
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And I would like to plant the seeds of tastelessness, be it so ever slight, now
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and a request for words to "The Twelve Days Of Xmas (My Leper Gave To Me..)
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So sit back, write some lyrics, enjoy some Leper-Nog or a nice beer (as long as
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it has a good head on it) and soak up the Holiday Cheer!
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And last but not least, TV Programs (need to get cable):
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Fresh Leper of Bel Air
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Leave It To Leper
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The Leper Bunch (also a wonderful prospect for the amateur song writer)
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Lepardy
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Jake and the Fat (not for long) Leper
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I suppose food stuffs is also appropriate:
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Guacaleper Dip
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Spare Ribs (get it?)
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Shepard's Pie
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Kidney Pudding
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Lepe-r (There's always room for L-E-P-E-R)
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Rump Roast, Leg of Leper (w/ some nice mint jelly), Finger Sandwiches
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Fastfood: Big Mack, Soft-Serve Vanilla Leper (with Jimmys('s?) on top)
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Salad w/ 1000 Eye-Limbs dressing..mmm good..just like mom used to make for us..
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..of us as a matter of fact!
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and my favorite Leper Skins, cause they're made with leper's and skin that is
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real..by the Keebler Lepers (go try and eat a bag of pork rinds now...taste bet
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ter don't they?)
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Shake 'n Bake (just imagine)
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Favorite Sayings Of Lepers:
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"I've got my eye on you!"
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"Shake A Leg"
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"Got To Get A Head In This World..or...If You Can Keep Your Head While All Othe
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rs Are Losing Theirs)
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?"Turn The Other Cheek'?
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"He's Barely Got A Leg To Stand On"
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"Let's Give Him A Hand"
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"He Puts His Nose In Everyone Else's Business"
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Seriously, though, lepers are useful, too.
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Here are a few ideas:
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Leper hand ashtray
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Leper arm toilet brush
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Leper foot door stop
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Leper head bowling ball
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Leper eyes marbles.....nay, too soft!
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Leper ass pencil sharpner
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Leper dick golf club
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Leper head dip holder (Nah, their head is already bean dip !)
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Leper foot door stop
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Leper leg baseball bat (Nah, hit the ball and the leg would fall apart !)
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Two Leper asses for end tables
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