36 lines
1.8 KiB
Prolog
36 lines
1.8 KiB
Prolog
Editor's Note: This article is written in UPPER case so that it
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will not be taken lightly.
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REAL PROGRAMMERS DON'T EAT QUICHE
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---------------------------------
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RP DON'T EAT QUICHE. IN FACT, RP DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO SPELL QUICHE.
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THEY EAT TWINKIES AND SZECHWAN FOOD.
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REAL PROGRAMMERS (RP) DON'T WRITE SPECS -- USERS SHOULD CONSIDER
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THEMSELVES LUCKY TO GET ANY PROGRAMS AT ALL AND TAKE WHAT THEY GET.
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RP DON'T COMMENT THEIR CODE. IF IT IS HARD TO WRITE, IT SHOULD BE HARD
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TO UNDERSTAND.
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RP DON'T WRITE APPLICATIONS PROGRAMS; THEY PROGRAM RIGHT DOWN TO THE
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BARE METAL. APPLICATIONS PROGRAMMING IS FOR DWEEBS WHO CAN'T DO
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SYSTEMS PROGRAMMING.
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RP DON'T WRITE IN COBOL. COBOL IS FOR WIMPY APPLICATIONS PROGRAMMERS.
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RP' PROGRAMS NEVER WORK RIGHT THE FIRST TIME. BUT IF YOU THROW THEM ON
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THE MACHINE THEY CAN BE PATCHED INTO WORKING IN "ONLY A FEW" 30-HOUR
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DEBUGGING SESSIONS.
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RP DON'T WRITE IN FORTRAN. FORTRAN IS FOR PIPE-STRESS FREAKS AND
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CRYSTALLOGRAPHY WEENIES.
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RP NEVER WORK 9-5. IF ANY RP ARE EVEN AROUND AT 9AM, THEY WERE UP
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ALL NIGHT.
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RP NEVER WRITE IN BASIC. ACTUALLY, NO PROGRAMMERS EVER WRITE IN BASIC
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AFTER THE AGE OF 12.
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RP DON'T WRITE IN PL/1. PL/1 IS FOR PROGRAMMERS THAT CAN'T DECIDE
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BETWEEN COBOL AND FORTRAN.
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RP DON'T PLAY TENNIS, OR ANY OTHER SPORT THAT REQUIRES YOU TO CHANGE
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CLOTHES. MOUNTAIN CLIMBING IS OK, AND RP WEAR THEIR CLIMBING BOOTS
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TO WORK IN CASE A MOUNTAIN SUDDENLY SPRINGS UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE
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MACHINE ROOM.
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RP DON'T WRITE IN PASCAL, OR BLISS, OR ADA, OR ANY OF THOSE PINKO
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COMPUTER SCIENCE LANGUAGES. STRONGB TYPING IS FOR PEOPLE WITH WEAK
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MINDS.
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RP DON'T DOCUMENT. DOCUMENTATION IS FOR SIMPS WHO CAN'T READ THE
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LISTINGS OR THE OBJECT DECK.
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