58 lines
3.4 KiB
Plaintext
58 lines
3.4 KiB
Plaintext
D-Ned
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by Andy Zaslow
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This is not copyrighted (c) 1984 by D. Griffith. If you really want to use
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it for commercial purposes, go ahead. Keep in mind(s), however, that everyone
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else in this world has the right to make as many copies of this document as
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they see fit.
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meln torp prot nabble, nabble zot nab - Richard Terrill, D. Griffith
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bork - Roland Bevan
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Once upon a time, there was a potato. This potato was however not a potato
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but a pink and green striped flea named Ned. Unfortunately, Ned was
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color-blind and unable to smell that he was pink and green (or green and pink
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depending how you looked at him, but it did not matter when he looked at him
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because he was color-blind or so he thought and we thought because it said so
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above). He jumped off a cliff (with a velocity, v and acceleration, a).
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Because Ned (or Joe as his enemies called him) took Physics I and he (or she)
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was unable to calculate his velocity upon impact, he survived even though the C
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compiler will not arrive until next week. So, it was just as will that he did
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know what the SWITCHe statement did because Moon Jockey Chung could not even be
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understood by Sam (also known as Ned or Joe or Sam or Ned or Joe or Sylvia or
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Bob or the cold little crumpled little piece of white little small piece of
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paper on the old large wooden dirty floor while MJC explains the C language).
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Suddenly!!! ( <-- not a real sentence) An oncoming train hit Ned (or...) and
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due to his background in physics and materials Ned (or...) destroyed the train
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with its poorly calculated momentum and was sentenced to life in prison for N
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years as N -> oo (infinity, that is) and there he stays whoever he really is.
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=================================================================
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Part II (oo years later)
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Ned, who happened to be dead, was walking around his cell for he (or she) was
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a one celled organism and became entangled in his DNA and in the process split
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one of his genes into one piece two thirds as long as the original, one pi/4 as
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long as the original, one sqr(e/3.2) as long as the original, and one 0/1342 as
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long as the original. This would have created quite remarkable affects but as
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we said, Ned was dead.
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A few days or weeks or years or bergs (a unit of measurement named after
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Chris Berg) later is was still oo years later and Ned was released from prison.
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Ned was excited and frolicked through fields of flowers because he went and
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stored that in location 505, realizing at the same time that he did not know
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whether the location was expressed in decimal, hex, octal or any other integer
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base K, where K>5. This matter did not trouble Joe long for he looked up and
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saw the JMS (Jump to Subroutine) on the screen and his mind(s) or lack thereof
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was totally filled with the question "Why is the letter M used in the JMS
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statement?" He may have realized that it was the "M" from the word Jump, but
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his parser was unable to decode the question because he used double quotes
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around the 'M' and not single quotes. His brain then hung and he walked around
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aimlessly until he tripped over a cold boot and found himself vacationing in
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Africa. Not having any ROM he had to wait many years while hundreds of monkeys
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randomly keyed in code until power-up was achieved. Joe lived happily for many
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years epily for many
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years O €0TCs as ```poNed (opi@ intimeoldoldoMJwhi i pinà C hep C
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BNed Sy, h intD. € livlivlclclcOM cthe til laiCH $ use , hexni!exp |