65 lines
2.2 KiB
Plaintext
65 lines
2.2 KiB
Plaintext
RESEARCH DEFINITIONS
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The following phrases, frequently found in technical writings, are
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defined here for your edification and enlightenment. This list was
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plagiarized from some unknown genius who evidently had read one to
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many scientific papers.
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"IT HAS LONG BEEN KNOWN---" I haven't bothered to look up the
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original reference.
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"OF GREAT THEORETICAL AND PRACTICAL IMPORTANCE" Interesting to me.
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"WHILE IT HAS NOT BEEN POSSIBLE TO PROVIDE DEFINITE ANSWERS TO THESE
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QUESTIONS---" The experiments didn't work out, but I figured I
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could get a paper out of it.
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"EXTREMELY HIGH PURITY, SUPERPURITY" Composition unknown except for
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the exaggerated claims of the supplier.
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"THREE OF THE SAMPLES WERE CHOSEN FOR DETAILED STUDY" The results
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on the others didn't make sense and were ignored.
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"ACCIDENTALLY CONTAMINATED DURING THE EXPERIMENT" Accidentally
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dropped on floor.
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"HANDLED WITH EXTREME CARE DURING THE EXPERIMENTS" Not dropped on
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floor.
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"TYPICAL RESULTS ARE SHOWN" The best results are shown.
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"PRESUMABLY AT LONGER TIMES---" I didn't take the time to find out.
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"THESE RESULTS WILL BE REPORTED AT A LATER DATE" I might get around
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to this problem sometime.
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"THE MOST RELIABLE VALUES ARE THOSE OF JONES" He was a student of
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mine.
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"IT IS BELIEVED THAT---" I think.
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"IT IS GENERALLY BELIEVED THAT---" A couple of other guys think so
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too.
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"IT MIGHT BE ARGUED THAT---" I have such a good answer for this
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objection that I shall now raise it.
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"CORRECT WITHIN AN ORDER OF MAGNITUDE" Wrong.
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"IT IS TO BE HOPED THAT THIS WORK WILL SIMULATE FURTHER WORK IN THE
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FIELD" This paper is not very good, but neither are any of the
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others on this miserable subject.
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"THANKS ARE DUE TO JOE GLOTZ FOR ASSISTANCE WITH THE EXPERIMENT AND
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TO JOHN DOE FOR VALUABLE DISCUSSIONS" Glotz did the work and Doe
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explained to me what it meant
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"PRELIMINARY EXPERIMENTS HAVE SHOWN." We did it once but couldn't
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repeat it.
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"THE W-Pb SYSTEM WAS CHOSEN AS BEING ESPECIALLY SUITABLE TO SHOW THE
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PREDICTED BEHAVIOR." The fellow in the next lab already had some
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made up.
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