1278 lines
62 KiB
Plaintext
1278 lines
62 KiB
Plaintext
From solano.community.net!uunet!panix!ddsw1!not-for-mail Thu Aug 25 10:22:06 1994
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Path: solano.community.net!uunet!panix!ddsw1!not-for-mail
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From: barnhart@mcs.net (Aaron Barnhart)
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Newsgroups: alt.fan.letterman,rec.arts.tv,alt.tv.talkshows.late,news.answers,alt.answers,rec.answers
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Subject: alt.fan.letterman Frequently Asked Questions (read before posting)
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Followup-To: alt.fan.letterman
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Date: 20 Aug 1994 03:00:03 -0500
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Organization: MCSNet Services
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Lines: 1257
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Approved: news-answers-request@MIT.Edu
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Message-ID: <334d63$ban@Venus.mcs.com>
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Reply-To: letterman@mcs.net
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NNTP-Posting-Host: venus.mcs.com
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Summary: This posting contains a list of Frequently Asked Questions (and
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their answers) about the Late Show/Late Night with David Letterman.
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New readers of the alt.fan.letterman newsgroup should read this
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FAQ list before posting.
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Xref: solano.community.net alt.fan.letterman:30573 rec.arts.tv:122755 alt.tv.talkshows.late:171 news.answers:27116 alt.answers:4029 rec.answers:6811
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Archive-name: letterman/faq
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Last-modified: Tue Aug 16 21:38:15 CDT 1994
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Version: 9.08
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======================================================================
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Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) for the alt.fan.letterman newsgroup
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======================================================================
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From New York: Home of the world champion New York Knicks ...
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It's the FAQ LIST for David Letterman!
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with
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the A. F. of L. newsgroup ...
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and
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FAQ compiler Aaron Barnhart ...
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plus
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Paul Shaffer and the CBS Orchestra ...
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and now ...
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the voice of America ...
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DAAAAAAVID LLLLLETTERMAN !!
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======================================================================
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Top Ten Questions Asked on the A. F. of L. Newsgroup.
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======================================================================
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10. Where can I write to get free tickets to the Late Show?
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--> Send a postcard (no letters) with your name and address to:
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Tickets
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Late Show with David Letterman
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Ed Sullivan Theater
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1697 Broadway
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New York, NY 10019
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Requests are limited to 2 tickets. The _Times_ says that
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"ordinarily, requests for specific dates cannot be
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accommodated." Within a few weeks you will receive a reply
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postcard informing you that tickets should be mailed to you
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within six months. It used to be three months, but with
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some 5,000 postcards arriving every week they've
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understandably had to modify their projections. (Thanks to
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Tony Tortorelli.) >>> And by the way, in case you got the
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idea in your head that those ticket people just sit around
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and flip pats of butter at the ceiling, dig this. As you
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may know, a recent taping did not air that evening because
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it was the Friday night that O.J. Simpson decided to go for
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a drive in the country with his friend Al Cowlings. The
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decision was made to air that show, featuring Julia Roberts,
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on the following Thursday. But that was a taping day as
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well. So the ticket office got very busy and notified all
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the members of Thursday's studio audience that there would
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be no taping and issued them all raincheck tickets!
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9. I understand there is a mailing list for the nightly Top Ten list.
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--> Yup. Here's what you do to subscribe.
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Send a message to: LISTSERV@tamvm1.tamu.edu
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In the body of the message enter the following information:
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Subscribe Top-Ten my_name
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where "my_name" is, of course, your name. Your *full* name. Do
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not enter anything except what is said above. If done correctly,
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you will receive a confirmation message stating that you've been
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added to the list.
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8. Can I send e-mail to Dave?
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--> You want the short answer? NO. Can you send e-mail to _Late
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Show with David Letterman_? Sure. If you have comments or
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suggestions about the big shoo you can mail Lateshow@pipeline.com and
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your mail will be answered by talented talent researcher Christine
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Schomer over there at the old Ed Sullivan Theater. Note: Please
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*don't* write for tickets by e-mail; only the postcard method will
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accomplish anything. Also, Christine apologizes but she simply has
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not been able to keep up with the flood of mail so far. Her mailbox
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now sends a stock response to everyone who writes; please don't be
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offended; she just wants you to know your note was received.
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Christine either replies to mail sent or forwards it along the
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internal LAN at Worldwide Pants to the appropriate staffer. >>> And
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for those of those just joining the Net, Dave has had a mailbox for
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approximately five months longer than Conan O'Brien has (his is
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Conanshow@aol.com).
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7. Why are so many people discussing Jay Leno on a Letterman newsgroup?
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--> Until football season starts up in earnest, we'll need someone
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to work out our aggressions on.
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6. I can't believe Dave actually picked to do his 12:35 show that old
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gasbag Tom Snyder.
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--> We were under the impression that you didn't *want* the job,
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Mr. Stern.
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5. Why does Dave make so many jokes at fat guys' expense?
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--> He's terrified of fat women?
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4. Do Letterman's people read this newsgroup?
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--> Richard "Shecky" Scheckman, the show's longtime film coordinator,
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reads the group regularly, as do audio consultant Michael
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Delugg and talent researcher Christine Schomer. Christine
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is the one who maintains the mailbox Lateshow@pipeline.com
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as well. And writer Spike Feresten has been known to fire up
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a colormail from time to time.
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3. I can't believe Jay Leno is doing "Headlines"! David Letterman
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was reading from newspapers *years* ago! Leno ought to apologize
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on national television to Dave for this act of larceny!
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--> You know, if you had been around in about 1956, your gripe
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would've made a good letter to the editor. And then Steve
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Allen might have picked up the newspaper it appeared in and
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read it on the air!
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2. Is there always such a crowd of people milling around the Ed
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Sullivan Theater? It seems every time Dave steps outside there
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are hundreds gathered there to cheer him.
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--> Don't be too impressed; if you listen carefully you can hear
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them chanting "Regis."
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And the Number One Question Asked on the A. F. of L. Newsgroup:
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1. Where can I get me that Madonna transcript?
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--> At the archive site ftp.mcs.net; complete details at the
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end of this FAQ list.
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======================================================================
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Questions about David Michael Letterman.
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======================================================================
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Q. Was Dave born to an actual American family?
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A. On April 12, 1947, to Joe and Dorothy Letterman. Dave's dad was a
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florist and had what Dave calls a "big personality. He was
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loud and liked to goof off and say funny things and do things to
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provoke you and get under your skin." By contrast, Dave's mom,
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as we have all witnessed, "is the least demonstrative person in
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the world." When Joe died 20 years ago, Dave said it was "the
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worst time in my life." Dave's mom was church secretary for many
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years at Second Presbyterian Church in Broad Ripple, Indiana,
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then a suburb of Indianapolis, which is where the Lettermans
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(including Dave's two sisters) grew up.
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Q. I understand that during his growing-up years, Dave was pretty
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much, and I'm quoting now, a "dork."
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A. Over 30 years ago, Dave worked during high school in the Atlas
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Super Market, an Indianapolis institution even then. Caroline
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Latham's book _The David Letterman Story_ shows Dave standing
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next to an enormous side of beef. It is fair to say that in the
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photo Dave looked "like a 16-year-old serial killer." In his
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own defense, Dave has said, "I think there's something wrong if
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high school is the greatest experience of your life."
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Q. Where did Dave attend college?
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A. Ball State University in Muncie, Indiana. He was a TV/Radio
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major with a minor in speech, and pledged Sigma Chi. Some of
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his frat brothers described Dave as very funny and self-confident.
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Dave has been generous with donations to the university and was
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largely responsible for the new Sigma Chi building at Ball State.
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In 1985 he endowed the David Letterman Scholarship there, an
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annual gift to a telecommunications major based solely on his
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or her creativity, *not* grades.
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Q. Is Dave married?
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A. Dave was married to a college sweetheart, Michelle Cook, but they
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divorced in 1977. For several years he and Late Night head writer
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Merrill Markoe were engaged, but that fizzled and Merrill took off
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for California and a writing career. Dave is presently in a
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relationship with former Late Night staffer Regina Lasko, who is
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keeping a separate residence in Manhattan, Dave says, for privacy
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reasons.
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Q. Who was the woman who kept breaking into Dave's Connecticut
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home claiming to be "Mrs. Letterman"?
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A. Margaret Ray. And she still breaks in from time to time,
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according to Dave in his January 1994 _Playboy_ interview. He
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says he has tried to get her some psychiatric help, because the
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state has let her case "fall through the cracks." But for now,
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she's on the lam.
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Q. Should I break into Dave's home?
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A. Oh, why not. Just be out of there by 10 p.m. when he comes
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home. Also, our friend Jen Laurie recently cruised by Dave's
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house (yes, she's still in college) and says that at the end of
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his driveway on this big tree is nailed a sign that says,
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"These premises protected by Security Attack Cats."
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Q. I heard that Dave used to be a weatherman in Indianapolis.
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A. From 1969 to 1974, as an intern and later a full-timer, Dave
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worked for his hometown Channel 13 as bench announcer, host of
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a Saturday morning kids' show and of the late-late movie, and
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yes, as weatherman. Dave once reported that the city was
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being pelted with hail "the size of canned hams" and he also
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enthusiastically congratulated a tropical storm when it was
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upgraded to hurricane status. Viewers of the _Late Show_ were
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recently treated to some old weather-report footage brought
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by Diane Sawyer, and here's what Dave said on the old report:
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"Let's take a look at the cloud-cover photograph made earlier
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of the United Staates today and I think you'll see that once
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again we've fallen to the prey of political dirty dealings.
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And right now you can see what I'm talking about: the higher-
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ups have removed the border between Indiana and Ohio, making
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it one giant state! Personally, I'm against it."
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Q. Didn't he have a radio show, too?
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A. For about a year following his t.v. job. It was at WNTS, back
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when it was all-talk. This gig did not go so well for him.
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"I was miscast because you have to have somebody who is fairly
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knowledgeable, fairly glib, possessing a natural interest in a
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number of topics," he later told an interviewer. "That
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certainly is not me. I don't care about politics. ... The
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Nixon-Watergate nonsense was the perfect example of something
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about which I knew nothing and couldn't have cared less." So
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Dave got bored and started making stuff up. According to
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Caroline Latham, one time "he told his listeners that their
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beloved 230-foot-tall Soldier's Monument ... had been sold to
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the island of Guam, whose government planned to paint it green
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in honor of their national vegetable, the asparagus." >>> It
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has been rumored that Dave got fired for his on-air remarks at
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Channel 13 or WNTS. In fact, the only place he ever got yanked
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from was Ball State's pathetic ten-watt all-classical campus
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radio station.
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Q. What else can you tell me about Dave's career in show bidness?
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A. As you may know, when Dave arrived in Hollywood in 1975 he found
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work as a comedy writer for Jimmie Walker and Paul Lynde, and
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as a player on Mary Tyler Moore's short-lived variety show.
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Because of his friendship with Allen Ludden (I am not kidding),
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Dave landed a guest-star spot on Dick Clark's _$10,000 Pyramid_
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and Ludden's own _Liars' Club_ (as a "guest celebrity"). In
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his career, Dave has also played a Werner Erhard-alike in an
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episode of _Mork and Mindy,_ made several appearances in _Open
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All Night_ (a t.v. show which lasted the season between the
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morning and late-night shows), appeared in a murder mystery
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called _Fast Friends_ that starred Dick Shawn as a talk show
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host who drops dead and is replaced by Dave, made a cameo in
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_The Building_ (yet another short-lived t.v. show, which aired
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in 1993, starred Bonnie Hunt, and was co-produced by Dave),
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played himself on _The Larry Sanders Show_ (he "leaked" to Larry
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that the 12:35 show on CBS would be given to Tom Snyder, which
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in fact turned out to be true), and made a movie cameo in _Cabin
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Boy_ (1994), which starred Chris Elliott. He also co-hosted
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that hilarious Emmy Award presentation on Fox a few years back.
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Q. I wonder why Dave doesn't do more movies?
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A. In fact, Dave was under contract to Touchstone Pictures, but has
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since extricated himself from it. What happened was Michael
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Eisner, the chairman of Walt Disney Company, signed Letterman
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to *not* do movies for other companies. "Eisner's kid had gotten
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ol' Dad to wrangle some tickets when Dave was in L.A.," recalls
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Bill Jones, who saw Eisner interviewed by Bob Costas on _Later._
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"Eisner ... got excited when he got there and saw the huge lines
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and movie-premiere atmosphere. He's thinking, this guy is like
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a movie star/rock star already. What could we do if we actually
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put him in the movies? Delighted to find the next day that Dave
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had no movie obligations, they contacted Dave's people. They
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were shocked to find that our TV Pal wanted no part of any movie
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deal. He was pretty sure he would suck, and told them so many
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times. ... Dave suggested they go look at his screen test for
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_Airplane!_ in the role eventually played by Robert Hay. After
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the contract was signed, they finally did, and Eisner said he
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turned white as a ghost -- Dave really was that bad." Eventually,
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as Bill Carter reports, the contract was terminated and Disney's
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money more or less cheerfully refunded. >> The name of Dave's
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movie production company? Cardboard Shoe.
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Q. What the hell is this thing Dave's got for Tom Snyder?
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A. Dave was a big _Tomorrow_ fan and has claimed to have seen between
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80 and 85 percent of the shows. He was more than a little uneasy
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about displacing Tom in 1982 (after NBC weasels had ruined it
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with Rona Barrett and a studio audience, the show was cancelled
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to make room for Late Night). Dave often said he feels Snyder
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ought to be on network television again, and made good on it in
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August 1994 when CBS made Tom the host of the Worldwide
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Pants-produced late late show at 12:35 a.m., beginning this
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winter. Aaron Dickey has probably described the Colorcast's
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appeal to the younger generation best: "If Snyder isn't camp
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incarnate, I don't know what is." >>> And Bill Jones adds this
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historical footnote: "Much of the first ten Carson years of the
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Tonight Show were erased [1962-72, the New York years]. They
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were going to do same thing to the Tomorrow tapes after Snyder
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was gone, but they were stopped by ... David Letterman! One of
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the reasons that on his recent appearance, Tom described Dave
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as true friend."
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Q. I can't believe NBC just let Dave go because they didn't like his
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personality.
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A. As Bill Carter reports, one senior NBC executive was heard to say
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after the Letterman-Leno debacle, "It was amazing to have made
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that many mistakes in a row," a quote Carter apparently finds
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so compelling he repeats it word for word elsewhere in the same
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book. (Have *all* the book editors been replaced by agents?)
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But perhaps the biggest mistake was the network's failure to
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chisel out a long-range strategy for late night, which ideally
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would have been to coax Johnny out of his job (a task eventually
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taken up by Helen Kushnick, Jay Leno's longtime handler), offer
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Dave the 11:35 show, and throw Leno over to CBS, where he would
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have been more than welcome. Instead, Jay got a clause inserted
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in his contract that made him the next _Tonight_ host, Johnny
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got wind of it and quit, and Dave was left in the dust. If
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there is a wildcard in this, it is possibly John Agoglia, the
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president of NBC Productions and its "no man" in matters relating
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to talent relations. It is true that Letterman made life
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difficult for Agoglia, but the latter's weasely actions were
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inappropriate even for a grouchy talent like Dave. After all,
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here is a man who (a) threatened to bring Maury Povich's show
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into Studio 6A every day if Dave didn't cooperate with the
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network's stupid "Sunday Best" program, (b) bragged that he had
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Dana Carvey locked in as Dave's 12:35 replacement, a flat lie,
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and (c) even when instructed by his boss Robert Wright to
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negotiate a plan to give _Tonight_ to Letterman, would not put
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anything in writing. However mean Dave was to Agoglia on his
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show, the NBC man returned it with interest later on. The
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oft-heard complaint that Dave was not cooperative with the suits
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reminds us of the mess the Reverend Martin Luther King got into
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because he wouldn't return the phone calls of an undercover FBI
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agent who was trying to reach him. Infuriated, the G-man went
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to his boss Hoover and reported King as a troublemaker, and we
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know the rest. Only thing is King, like Letterman, simply didn't
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return calls from anyone except his closest advisors.
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Q. I've heard it said that had Dave gotten the _Tonight_ gig, he would've
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abandoned the _Late Night_ format entirely -- not just honed its rough
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edges like he did on CBS -- and done a show very much like Carson's.
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A. So you've been listening to frequent A. F. of L. contributor Mark
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Evanier, a writer for cartoons such as _Scooby-Doo, Where Are
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You?_ and who is most noted as the scripter for the comic book
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"Groo the Wanderer" which has published over 130 issues. Mark
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says he knows Jay Leno and Dave Letterman, and many of the people
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who work for them. He says, "One of Dave's current writers even
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told me he was glad D.L. didn't get the gig because he thinks
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Dave would have dumped most of the staff, moved to Burbank and
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done something that more resembled a variety show." And of
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course we can trust this insight, spoken by one writer to another,
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because as we all know writers are some of the most secure,
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neurosis-free individuals walking the face of the earth. Hell,
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as long as we're printing crystal ball predictions from writers,
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here is ours. Had Dave gotten the _Tonight_ show, he wouldn't
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need to do a show that was quite so busy, because he wouldn't
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have had to fill every last second of air time with noise to
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fend off the deafening silence of the Ed Sullivan Theater. And
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instead of roaming Broadway and 53rd Streets with his external
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camera, he would be roaming the facilities at 3000 Alameda
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Avenue, just like he used to at 30 Rock. In short, the same
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thing he did at 12:35, only different. (Thanks to James Langdell
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for the Evanier bio.)
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Q. Dave seems to have become a huge celebrity overnight.
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A. Well, that'll happen when you make the covers of _Time_ and
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_Newsweek_ in one summer. It's worth bearing in mind that when
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Dave left NBC his audience rating had tumbled to 2.1 (that is,
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2.1% of all t.v. households in the U.S.) from, to pick one date
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in time, a 3.8 rating in 1988. _Late Show_ regularly attracts
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three times that many viewers. So he's more visible now. Also,
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as Bill Carter pointed out, late-night programming has improved
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substantially in quality in recent years. As a result, more
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viewers overall are staying up late. _Advertising Age_ suggests
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that late-night is its own "daypart" now since many of the shows
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now command ad rates that are competitive with prime time. Hence,
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anyone connected with a late-night show becomes a bigger story
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than, say, 10 years ago. Which is the only reason why _Washington
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Post_ t.v. critic Tom Shales would waste so many valuable column
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inches calling for the head of Dave's promising but very
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un-baby-boomerish successor Conan O'Brien.
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It also explains why Dave's fabled driving habits would land him
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rather unpleasantly on _Inside Edition._ Keith Rice reports
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that the tabloid t.v. show spent one morning tracking him on his
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way to work on the Merritt Parkway. They clocked him at 65-70
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mph and showed Dave's hot rod darting in and out of traffic,
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with him nervously checking the rear view mirror to see if these
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creeps would go away. After he arrived in New York, the _Inside
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Edition_ reporter confronted him, Geraldo Rivera-style, asking
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him how if he knew fast he was going. Dave told him to check
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his files, so zip! out came a notebook from which the reporter
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began *reading* to Dave the vital statistics of each traffic
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ticket he had received in his adult life. This prompted Our
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Racing Pal to crack, "Is this a part time job for you?", to
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which the reporter replied, "No, it isn't, it's full time."
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Dave strode off in a perfectly understandable huff. Should you
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be allowed to file a story on a comedian when you yourself have
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no sense of humor?
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Q. Seriously, I have wondered if Dave was a recovering alcoholic. He
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had John Larroquette on the show one night, who is recovering, and
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talked about the days when he used to drink heavily.
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A. Unfortunately, Dave is just the kind of enigmatical, jealously
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private person that the media looove to speculate about. He is
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not forthcoming at all about his personal life in this or any
|
|
other department. Worse, he's likely to mess with our minds by
|
|
sending out contradictory messages. He recently denied he had lost
|
|
a lot of weight prior to starting the show on CBS, when in fact
|
|
he'd admitted in earlier interviews to dropping 40 pounds,
|
|
something any fool with a v.c.r. could confirm by watching old
|
|
NBC tapes from '92. However, he has admitted in both _Playboy_
|
|
interviews, done 10 years apart, to drinking hard each night
|
|
after making his morning show and for a while there early in
|
|
_Late Night_'s run before quitting cold turkey. He also smoked
|
|
some pot in 1980, a short-lived experience which he says "got
|
|
to the point where I'd be stoned and wished I wasn't, so I quit,"
|
|
which probably tells us something of his view toward drinking,
|
|
though the chance that we'll know for sure is about nil.
|
|
|
|
======================================================================
|
|
Show Questions.
|
|
======================================================================
|
|
|
|
Q. Wait! I forgot to order tickets and I'm going to be in New
|
|
York. Are there standby tix available?
|
|
--> You may get standby tickets for the show each tapeday at
|
|
the box office at the Ed Sullivan Theater. Standbys are
|
|
distributed on a first-come-first-served basis, and are
|
|
limited to one per person. Standbys do not guarantee
|
|
admission. _You must be 16 or older to pick up a standby
|
|
ticket and attend a taping._ (Taken from the CBS reply
|
|
postcard to people requesting tickets.) B.J. Gleason says
|
|
that people start lining up for these tix *early*, like 7
|
|
a.m. The giveaway occurs at 12 noon. >>> And S Trowbridge
|
|
adds that to alleviate congestion and bad feelings at 7
|
|
a.m., ticketseekers are now being issued a number when they
|
|
arrive at the theatre. That becomes their place in the
|
|
standby ticket line when it forms later in the day. >>>
|
|
Our pal Tucks reports, "The one time I tried I had #30 and
|
|
was the last person taken around to the 'staging area' in
|
|
front just before they release you to go into the theatre,
|
|
but we got screwed and they only let in the first three.
|
|
Those guys had been sleeping on cardboard in front of the
|
|
doors since 3:00 in subfreezing temperatures (we'd arrived
|
|
at 7:30). .. Now I know why part of the audience can be
|
|
_real_ giddy sometimes." >>> And Chris Lang adds, "On Monday
|
|
we arrived at 3:30 a.m. and were numbers 6-9, and I estimate
|
|
around 15 standby ticketholders were let in. ... I think it
|
|
is safe to say that if you want to see the show via the
|
|
standby route, you need to show up before 5 a.m."
|
|
|
|
Q. I've got tickets to the Big Show! When should I show up to
|
|
get good seats? Any other tips?
|
|
--> The tapings start at 5:30 p.m. Seating is on a first-come-
|
|
first-served basis, and lines begin forming as early as 1 p.m.
|
|
(Some attendees say come a little later, like about 2:30 or 3,
|
|
because you don't want to get seated right up front, where
|
|
your view's obstructed by all the equipment.) >>> Wear layers
|
|
of clothes in winter. Hell, wear layers of clothes in summer.
|
|
The theater is freezing. (Dave likes it at 52 degrees F.,
|
|
or else, as he told Bruno Kirby, "the jokes begin to spoil.")
|
|
>>> Some former audience members endorse *not* getting advance
|
|
tix but waiting in line for standbys instead, the advantages
|
|
being you have a lot more control over what day(s) you see the
|
|
show (provided the line isn't too long), and you'll probably
|
|
get balcony seats, which feature unobstructed views. Standbys
|
|
discussed above. >>> But if you want any chance of getting on
|
|
camera, swapping gifts for t-shirts, or participating in the
|
|
fabulous prize giveaways, you need to show up early and get a
|
|
front-row seat.
|
|
|
|
Q. Remember every night in the early months of _Late Show_ when Dave
|
|
would get a standing ovation? Whatever happened to that?
|
|
A. Mercifully, the practice ended, headed off at the pass by Dave,
|
|
who realized that the gaudy spectacle of a standing O had become
|
|
an unwelcome addition to the new show. Nowadays, _Late Show_
|
|
writer Bill Scheft, when he comes out to do the nightly warmup,
|
|
advises the crowd that "we have already used up our 10-year
|
|
quota for standing ovations" and that if they want to stand up
|
|
for Dave, they will have their opportunity to do so just *prior*
|
|
to airtime. Sure enough, the host comes onstage at about 5:28
|
|
and gets a big ovation, gives out a canned ham or two, then runs
|
|
backstage as Paul and the band strike up the theme song. Freshly
|
|
purged of their standing-O, the audience behaves as it should
|
|
for the performance intro.
|
|
|
|
Q. Is there any specific reason why audience members have to be
|
|
16 or older?
|
|
A. Each evening an audience member is chosen to drive Dave home.
|
|
|
|
Q. What is the address for the CBS Mailbag?
|
|
A. The address is:
|
|
CBS Mailbag
|
|
Late Show with David Letterman
|
|
Ed Sullivan Theater
|
|
1697 Broadway
|
|
New York, NY 10019
|
|
|
|
Q. What is the address for Stupid Pet/Human Tricks?
|
|
A. The address is:
|
|
Susan Hall Sheehan
|
|
Late Show with David Letterman
|
|
Ed Sullivan Theater
|
|
1697 Broadway
|
|
New York, NY 10019
|
|
|
|
Q. What is the address for Calvert DeForest?
|
|
A. The address is:
|
|
Calvert DeForest
|
|
Late Show with David Letterman
|
|
Ed Sullivan Theater
|
|
1697 Broadway
|
|
New York, NY 10019
|
|
Are you starting to detect a pattern here? Good.
|
|
|
|
Q. Has anyone else noticed that the show seems to be running
|
|
a little long?
|
|
A. Perfectly normal. The show runs from 11:35:00 pm till
|
|
12:36:30 pm Eastern time.
|
|
|
|
Q. The audience laughter sounds sort of canned.
|
|
A. First of all, the theater is heavily miked. Second, there is a
|
|
deliberate push by the production staff to give the show more energy,
|
|
in part because that's the way Dave feels he's going to inherit the
|
|
mantle of Johnny, in part because the Ed Sullivan Theater is so
|
|
cavernous the show simply cannot accommodate the range of volume
|
|
levels that were acceptable back at NBC's shoebox Studio 6A. Donz5
|
|
adds: "I remember that the closeness of the studio and the
|
|
state-of-the-art sound caused deafness among half the audience. There
|
|
were speakers UNDER the seats. (Which may explain Chris Elliott a
|
|
little bit.)"
|
|
|
|
Q. These days the show seems to have some pretty noticeable edits made to
|
|
it on a regular basis. I don't remember the program being edited for
|
|
time quite so much back at NBC.
|
|
A. Maybe, although you may have been conditioned to think that way since,
|
|
after all, a show in which the host is continually asking, "How
|
|
are we doing on time?" which became something of a mantra back
|
|
at _Late Night,_ must if nothing else be a show that runs on
|
|
time, right? Ohhhh, guess again, Pepe. Our pal Mr. Donz5
|
|
provides this eyewitness account: "The first show I was lucky
|
|
enough to attend was in 1984. There was a recurring shtick before
|
|
each segment (or after, I forget which) where a model sang some
|
|
insipid song. But the show ran too long, and every bit with the
|
|
singer in it was taken out when it broadcast that night. Shows
|
|
are routinely edited for that very reason: it went on too long."
|
|
|
|
Q. Does the Microphone on Dave's Desk actually work, or is it just
|
|
a prop?
|
|
A. Yes, the microphone (an old RCA DX 77) does work, but is usually
|
|
reserved for special occasions, such as when Dave is "playing
|
|
along with the band" by hitting it with a pencil. The crew at
|
|
NBC gave him the mic when he left. Dave's primary mic is the
|
|
wireless "tie-clip" variety. (Thanks to Mark Weber for asking
|
|
and Michael Delugg for answering.)
|
|
|
|
Q. What time do they tape the show?
|
|
A. 5:30 to 6:30 pm, Eastern time. Says Dave, "Everything I do is
|
|
designed to help me do the best job I can between 5:30 and
|
|
6:30." The thing is done live, as Dave has always felt the
|
|
energy would drain out of the show were everything subject to
|
|
retakes. The only reason he doesn't actually air live is he
|
|
doesn't want a studio audience made up of trenchcoats.
|
|
|
|
Q. Why are there *two* guest chairs?
|
|
A. Siskel and Ebert.
|
|
|
|
Q. What kind of ratings is the big shoo getting versus Jay et al.?
|
|
A. For the season, Dave averaged a 5.8 rating, Ted Koppel a 5.0, and
|
|
Jay Leno 4.4. That is, 5.8% of all t.v. homes in America were
|
|
watching Dave -- this despite the fact that at season's end some
|
|
17% of t.v. markets were making their viewers stay up later than
|
|
the "live clearance" time (11:35 Eastern/Pacific, 10:35 Central/
|
|
Mountain) to watch him. At season's outset on August 30, 1993,
|
|
the non-live clearance figure was twice that, so that for a good
|
|
part of the season Dave was beating the competition, as Robert
|
|
Morton put it, "with one hand tied behind our back." In fact,
|
|
Dave has won EVERY week against Leno, virtually every night.
|
|
Ironically, Jay seems stuck with an aging and less-sought-after
|
|
audience, which was the knock against Johnny. >>> Ted Koppel's
|
|
_Nightline_ remains strong, and some weeks actually beats Dave's
|
|
show, but doesn't actually "steal" viewers from him. Dave has
|
|
essentially created his audience, ex nihilo, using his comic
|
|
genius, a top-tier array of guests, and snappy Armani suits.
|
|
>>> During the Winter Olympics, all CBS affiliates were obliged
|
|
to carry the Late Show at the correct time. As a result, ratings
|
|
averaged a blistering 8.8 for the two-week period, and the night
|
|
of the Kerrigan-Harding skateoff Dave attracted nearly as large
|
|
an audience as his opening night last August 30. >>> _Playboy_
|
|
reports CBS execs confiding they would have made money had Dave
|
|
averaged merely a 3.5 rating.
|
|
|
|
Q. What are some of Dave's "Indiana-isms?"
|
|
A. From Tim Veatch --
|
|
o ask...or as we say in Indiana...ax
|
|
o Bush...or as we say in Indiana...Boosh
|
|
o extra...or as we say in Indiana...extree
|
|
o Illinois...or as we say in Indiana...Illinoiz
|
|
o Italian...or as we say in Indiana...Eye-talian
|
|
o mosquitos...or as we say in Indiana...skeeters
|
|
o nuclear...or as we say in Indiana...nuc-u-lar
|
|
o President Clinton...or as we say in Indiana...Pars'dent Clinton
|
|
o show business...or as we say in Indiana...show bidness
|
|
o similar...or as we say in Indiana...sim-u-lar
|
|
o special...or as we say in Indiana...spay-shul
|
|
o statistics...or as we say in Indiana...suh-tistics
|
|
o veteran...or as we say in Indiana...vet'rin
|
|
o Washington...or as we say in Indiana...Warshington
|
|
o wolf...or as we say in Indiana...woof
|
|
|
|
Q. What are the different cities where Dave's "home office" was located
|
|
during Late Night?
|
|
A. o Lebanon, Pennsylvania
|
|
o Lincoln, Nebraska
|
|
o Milwaukee (the first Late Night home office)
|
|
o Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
|
|
o Omaha (home of Arnie Barnes, who called in his own Top Ten lists)
|
|
o Oneonta, New York (the last Late Night home office)
|
|
o Scottsdale, Arizona
|
|
o Tahlequah, Oklahoma
|
|
|
|
Q. The Late Show's home office is in Sioux City, Iowa. Has that town
|
|
decided to start airing Dave's show?
|
|
A. Yes.
|
|
|
|
Q. What are the different types of "cams" that were used on
|
|
Late Night?
|
|
A. o Amphi-cam (8th anniversary show at Universal Amphitheatre)
|
|
o Chair-cam
|
|
o Cow-cam
|
|
o Crash-cam
|
|
o Fig-cam (worn by Anton)
|
|
o Guest-cam (worn by Tom Hanks)
|
|
o Host-cam (worn by Dave, of course)
|
|
o Las Vegas Showgirl-Cam (from Dave's 1987 shows there)
|
|
o Love-cam (Bill Murray)
|
|
o Monkey-cam
|
|
o Sewer-cam
|
|
o Sky-cam
|
|
o Thrill-cam
|
|
o Thrill-cam 360
|
|
o Tiger-cam
|
|
|
|
Q. Who played Helen, the Ill-Tempered Ticket Lady?
|
|
A. Kathleen Ankers. She also played Peggy, the Foul-Mouthed Chambermaid
|
|
and the librarian of the NBC Bookmobile on Late Night. (If you want
|
|
to know what she said to Dave, see helen-quote on the archive.)
|
|
|
|
Q. What types of gifts has Dave given to the audience members of
|
|
his shows?
|
|
A. o Bacon
|
|
o Bagels
|
|
o Baked ham
|
|
o Beef
|
|
o Bug Busters
|
|
o Tom Brokaw stationery
|
|
o Canned hams ("Kraukus imported Polish hams -- very
|
|
expensive!!" says Mike Schneider)
|
|
o Cartons of cigarettes (handed out by Larry during a remote)
|
|
o Collapsible drinking cups
|
|
o Composters
|
|
o Edible plunger
|
|
o Fajitas
|
|
o French fries
|
|
o Frogs (two formerly owned by Glenn Close)
|
|
o Frozen turkeys
|
|
o Gallon jars of mayonnaise
|
|
o Two-hundred-dollar Gift certificate to K & L Rock America
|
|
o Goodwill Games medals (given to audience members who asked
|
|
questions of Larry "Bud" Hussein)
|
|
o Handfuls of nickels from a big bucket
|
|
o Handfuls of watches from a fish bowl
|
|
o Hot towels (by Larry during a remote)
|
|
o Jumper cables
|
|
o Kentucky Fried Millipedes (actually a bucket of fried clams)
|
|
o Kielbasa
|
|
o Large squares of sod
|
|
o Late Night with David Letterman facial blotters (if you
|
|
were an *especially* good little audience member,
|
|
Dave would use it first)
|
|
o One volume of an encyclopedia set
|
|
o Packs of assorted GE light bulbs
|
|
o Pounds of hair
|
|
o Randomly selected prescription eyeglasses (by Larry)
|
|
o Roll of garden hose
|
|
o Selections of fluorescent lighting
|
|
o Six dollars
|
|
o Sponges
|
|
o Tee-shirts (Larry: "Bob Rooney, please give that nice
|
|
lady/gentleman two Late Night t-shirts")
|
|
o Tires
|
|
o Toast
|
|
o Toast on a stick
|
|
o _Today_ show coffee mugs
|
|
o Waffles
|
|
|
|
Q. What were the films in LNWDL's Holiday Film Festivals? (1985)
|
|
A. o "With My Own Eyes," by David Letterman
|
|
o "But I'm Happy," by Michael Keaton (with Clint Howard)
|
|
o A film on PMS, by Catherine O'Hara and Andrea Martin
|
|
o "Dress Cool," music video by Paul and the band
|
|
o "Why Bother?" by Bette Midler
|
|
o Industrial video spoof, by Harry Shearer, Christopher
|
|
Guest, and Michael McKean
|
|
|
|
From the "2nd Annual Holiday Film Festival" (1986):
|
|
o "Feelin' in Love," David Letterman
|
|
o "The Iceman Hummeth," Michael J. Fox
|
|
o "An Audience of My Own," Diane Sawyer
|
|
o "My Day With the Stars," Jonathan Winters
|
|
o "You Kill Me" (music video), Paul Shaffer w/Teri Garr
|
|
o "Chris Elliott: A Television Miracle," w/George Takei
|
|
(aka Mr. Sulu from "Star Trek")
|
|
|
|
Q. What are the different types of "suits" Dave has worn?
|
|
A. o Suit of Alka-Seltzer
|
|
o Suit of Lard (worn by someone other than Dave)
|
|
o Suit of Magnets
|
|
o Suit of Marshmallows (they tried to light the marshmallows
|
|
with propane torches but failed; eaten by audience)
|
|
o Suit of Nachos (eaten by members of the audience after
|
|
Dave was dunked in cheese)
|
|
o Suit of Rice Krispies (milk poured on Dave)
|
|
o Suit of Sponge (they weighed Dave, dunked him in water,
|
|
then weighed him again, but it was off the scale)
|
|
o Suit of Suet (Dave went into a cage of birds)
|
|
o Suit of Teabags (no, wait, that was Steve Allen)
|
|
o Suit of Vegemite (tm)
|
|
o Suit of Vegetables
|
|
o Suit of Velcro (Dave wore the soft part, then he jumped
|
|
onto a wall covered with the other part, and stuck)
|
|
|
|
Q. When Chris Elliott was still writing for Late Night, what were
|
|
some of the characters he played?
|
|
A. o Marlon Brando
|
|
o The Guy Under the Seats
|
|
o Marv Albert
|
|
o Jay Leno (with large fake chin)
|
|
o Letterman imitation-- "Late Night with Chris Elliott"
|
|
o The Fugitive Guy
|
|
o The Nervous Guy
|
|
o The Regulator Guy
|
|
o Chris Elliott, Jr. (Morton Downey, Jr. take-off w/ lots
|
|
o' moles)
|
|
o The Panicky Guy
|
|
o The Conspiracy Guy
|
|
o Gerard Mulligan's baby boy, "Kevin" (complete w/ diaper)
|
|
o Jack Hanna of the Columbus Zoo
|
|
o Walter Murphy, "the man with the miracle mind" who had
|
|
memorized all the animals portrayed in that memorable NBC
|
|
fantasy-adventure series, "Manimal" (as this was early in
|
|
his career, Chris actually did a Harvey Korman trying to
|
|
suppress the giggles)
|
|
o Singularly unhelpful Radio City Music Hall custodian (Anniversary
|
|
show; thanks to Jim Lyden)
|
|
|
|
Q. What is Larry "Bud" Melman's real name?
|
|
A. Calvert DeForest. And in fact, for intellectual property reasons,
|
|
Dave is calling "Larry" Calvert on the new show.
|
|
|
|
Q. I went to go see "Cabin Boy" and Dave Letterman had a cameo
|
|
in the movie, but in the credits they announced that "Earl
|
|
Hofert" played the part played by Dave. Who's Earl Hofert?
|
|
A. Possibly an uncle on his mom's side. Every now and then
|
|
you'll hear him use "Hofert" on the show. Also "Henderson."
|
|
|
|
Q. Who all have been the means of delivery of Cokes, etc., from
|
|
the vending machines? (Late Night)
|
|
A. o The Rockettes (and now on the Late Show as well)
|
|
o Members of the NYC area chapter of Mensa
|
|
o Carl Lewis
|
|
o Boy Scouts
|
|
o Marching Band
|
|
o Andy Grayson, trail bike rider, rode down the stairs and
|
|
jumped up on Dave's desk (w/the bike) without touching a
|
|
foot.
|
|
|
|
Q. How has Dave paid tribute to his erstwhile telephone companion,
|
|
the lovely auburn-haired book publicist Meg Parsont?
|
|
A. o Sent the "Three Amigos" to serenade her with Mexican rest-
|
|
aurant music
|
|
o Sent Billy Dee Williams over with a bouquet of roses, a
|
|
matching his-and-her set of his designer fragrances, and a
|
|
six-pack of Colt 45 malt liquor
|
|
o Closed off 49th Street so the Jamestown High School Red
|
|
Raiders marching band could parade below her window playing
|
|
"Happy Birthday" and spelling out M-E-G in formation
|
|
|
|
Q. I know Bill Murray was the first scheduled guest on both
|
|
Late Night in 1982 and the Late Show in 1993.
|
|
A. Although recently, Dave told Tom Brokaw that *he* (Tom) was
|
|
"the first guest on our new show" (when Tom came out to
|
|
reclaim certain cue cards as "the intellectual property of
|
|
NBC").
|
|
|
|
Q. Right. But back to Bill Murray in '82 -- what was *that*?
|
|
A. According to Dave, "Bill wanted to do something special, so
|
|
he was coming down early to talk to the writers and see what
|
|
they could come up with together. When he arrived, Merrill
|
|
and I were out filming a segment, and Bill showed up with
|
|
about six gallons of whatever tequila was on sale. When we
|
|
got back, everybody was shitfaced, and it was dark, since
|
|
Bill had decided the flourescent lights were leeching Vitamin
|
|
E from them and he'd hidden all the lamps. Nothing was
|
|
written, and the only explanation I could get from anyone was,
|
|
'Bill was here.' When we did get on the air, Bill decided not
|
|
to do any of the stuff we'd written and got an urge to sing
|
|
'Let's Get Physical' and do aerobics. So he did." >>> As a
|
|
tribute to that historical debut, Paul and the band played
|
|
"Physical" for Bill's intro on the first Late Show.
|
|
|
|
Q. I heard that Bill Hicks was censored recently! They never showed
|
|
his act, and replaced him instead with some lame in-house
|
|
comedian.
|
|
A. Well, it's true. On the night of October 1, 1993, comedian
|
|
Hicks (who has since passed away) delivered a routine that, in
|
|
post-production, was deemed inappropriate for broadcast. Although
|
|
initially executive producer Robert Morton claimed CBS standards
|
|
and practices had ordered the cut, CBS later countered that
|
|
*Worldwide Pants* had cut Hicks -- the truth is probably that
|
|
both offices agreed on the cut. In a subsequent piece in _The
|
|
New Yorker,_ Hicks complained that Letterman's staff cut the
|
|
routine because of attacks on pro-lifers that did not appeal to
|
|
the show's "mainstream" audience, which Hicks clearly believed
|
|
was a fiction.
|
|
|
|
Angus MacDonald, who was in the audience that night, has a
|
|
different interpretation of the events: "He did do a joke early
|
|
in the same routine that could be taken as being anti-gay ...
|
|
Basically, Hicks made fun of bigots ... [and was] impersonating
|
|
a bigot -- 'Those people have gone too far. We've got to draw the
|
|
line,' or words to that effect -- for a stretch of many seconds
|
|
during which there was virtually no audience laughter, though one
|
|
guy in our row yelled 'Yeah' in agreement to the excerpt above.
|
|
Creepy. Because no one was laughing, Hicks had the worst of both
|
|
worlds: controversial material that was not entertaining. The
|
|
rest of his routine, as detailed in the New Yorker article and
|
|
elsewhere, was well received. There was almost no reporting
|
|
about the gay joke, though, and I think the silence it induced
|
|
may have had as much to do with the excision as the attack on
|
|
right-wing Christians." >>> A recent special on the life of Hicks
|
|
airing on Comedy Central included interviews with Dave and Morty,
|
|
both of whom expressed regrets about the incident. Dave said he
|
|
felt even worse knowing that he won't be able to make it up to
|
|
Bill now that he's gone.
|
|
|
|
Q. What's the deal with Teri Garr? She looked *terrible* since she
|
|
started appearing on _Late Show._ I heard she has MS.
|
|
A. Well, as Mark Samwick observed from watching her in the twice-
|
|
crossed CBS sitcom _Good Advice,_ "Her entire right side is
|
|
extremely stiff, her movements quite awkward, and she has a
|
|
definite limp. The camera shots try to disguise it a bit, but
|
|
it's definitely noticable." But she has gone on the record
|
|
denying that she has MS. Just a degenerative back condition
|
|
-- spurs -- that she's slowly rehabilitating from.
|
|
|
|
Q. The wife and I were up last night watching Dave, and we got to
|
|
talking about the old show and that wild-eyed longhair freak who
|
|
tried to kick Dave in the chops. Remember that?
|
|
A. About every three weeks, it seems, on alt.fan.letterman. For that
|
|
reason we have provided for the general public an annotated
|
|
transcript of that episode, from July of 1987, featuring guest
|
|
Crispin Glover, on the Letterman archive at ftp.mcs.net (see
|
|
the end of this FAQ for info). Thanks to Mark Schweingruber
|
|
for the effort.
|
|
|
|
Q. Say, is it true that Cindy Crawford was once bumped from _Late Night_
|
|
so that Dave could yammer with a guy named Herb Clumpy the Third?
|
|
A. Mm hmm. By the way, the name's spelled Klumpe, not "Clumpy," and
|
|
he has become one of the regulars on the old A. F. of L.
|
|
newsgroup. Herb, who hails from Oneonta, New York, site of the
|
|
very last home office of _Late Night,_ was in the audience for
|
|
one of Dave's last NBC broadcasts on June 17 '93, wearing a
|
|
sweatshirt emblazoned with the letters ONEONTA. Dave was notified
|
|
before the show that a guy from the home office with a delightful
|
|
name was in the crowd, so upon entering the studio he opened
|
|
that evening's show with the line, "Tonight's program is dedicated
|
|
to Herb Klumpe III." Not only did the monologue go out the
|
|
window, but Herb and Dave chatted on-air after the break and
|
|
they exchanged sweatshirts as the alluring Miss Crawford looked
|
|
on forlornly from the green room. It turns out that Herb and
|
|
four of his enterprising friends also held tickets for the very
|
|
last _Late Night_ so, to commemorate his good fortune, Herb's
|
|
friends showed up wearing "Friend of Herb Klumpe III" T-shirts.
|
|
NBC staff spotted Mr. Klumpe and escorted him to the green room,
|
|
where he got to watch the final show with a gaggle of people
|
|
including Tom Hanks and his wife. He is living proof that Dave
|
|
Letterman, much like his show's revered final guest Bruce
|
|
Springsteen, can both entertain the masses and brighten the lives of
|
|
ordinary fans -- and thereby all of us who watch him. [*flourish
|
|
of patriotic music*]
|
|
|
|
Q. Who are the the members of "The CBS Orchestra?"
|
|
A. o Paul Shaffer, leader/keyboards
|
|
o Anton Fig, drums
|
|
o Will Lee, bass guitar
|
|
o Sid McGinnis, guitar
|
|
o Felicia Collins, guitar
|
|
o Bruce Kapler and Tom "Bones" Malone, horns
|
|
|
|
Q. What happened to funkmeister Bernie Worrell?
|
|
A. He left the band. It didn't work out. Anyway, you'll agree it
|
|
sounds much better with a horn section, no?
|
|
|
|
Q. Does Sid have a "running jones"?
|
|
A. Yes indeed. A full account is given in a _Runner's World_ feature
|
|
on the longtime Letterman guitarist, who joined Late Night in 1984.
|
|
"Nike, upon learning that its Sock Racers [running shoes] were
|
|
showcased on Late Night ... supplied McGinnis with as many pairs as
|
|
he needed." Now that the shoe is out of stock, "Nike has fashioned
|
|
close facsimiles ... custom-made Air Sids. 'There are five million
|
|
pairs of Air Jordans,' McGinnis estimates, 'and two Air Sids.'" The
|
|
story also reports that at age 40, Sid ran the 1989 New York Marathon
|
|
in 3:14:44.
|
|
|
|
Q. Has Sid *ever* missed a show?
|
|
A. Only once -- to be with his wife as she was delivering their first
|
|
born child.
|
|
|
|
Q. Other than Paul, Anton, Will, and Sid, who were members of
|
|
"the band," later titled "The World's Most Dangerous Band"
|
|
on Late Night?
|
|
A. o Francisco Centano, guitar (frequent fill-in)
|
|
o Hiram Bullock, guitar
|
|
o Steven Khan, guitar
|
|
o Omar Hakim, drums
|
|
o Steve Jordan, drums
|
|
o Allan Schwartzberg, drums
|
|
o Charlie Drayton, drums
|
|
o Leon Pendarvis, keyboards (would sub for Paul)
|
|
|
|
Q. Heyyy, knock me out with some of those great musical intros
|
|
Paul and the band have done over the years for Dave's guests.
|
|
A. Here are just a few. As Jon Pareles recently noted in the
|
|
_Times,_ "[the] CBS Orchestra seems to be prepared for an
|
|
inordinate number of songs ... it will try nearly anything."
|
|
Such as:
|
|
o "Under the Boardwalk" for Chris Elliott as "The Guy Under the
|
|
Seats"
|
|
o Prince's "I Want To Be Your Lover" for Kim Basinger
|
|
o "White Lines" by Grandmaster Flash/Melle Mel for Cokie
|
|
Roberts
|
|
o "Frankenstein" by Edgar Winter for Al Franken
|
|
o "Everytime You Go Away (You Take A Piece of Me With You)"
|
|
by Paul Young following "Top Ten Things Overheard at the
|
|
Lorena Bobbitt Trial"
|
|
o "Chest Fever" by The Band for Dolly Parton
|
|
o "The Worst That Could Happen" by The Brooklyn Bridge, for
|
|
Tom and Roseanne Arnold following the announcement they
|
|
would be jointly marrying a third woman. (The first line
|
|
of the song goes, "Heard you're getting married ...")
|
|
o "Real Real Real" by Jesus Jones for a segment called "Real
|
|
Books." This reportedly frightened Dave.
|
|
o "I Am the Walrus" by the Fabs for Mike Wallace
|
|
o "Faith" by George Michael for Faith Ford
|
|
o "If" by Bread during Dave's throw-Wonder-Bread-at-the-
|
|
audience sequence
|
|
o "Turn, Turn, Turn" by the Byrds for Laura Dern
|
|
o "A Day in the [Dana] Life" for Dana Carvey
|
|
o "Pets" by Porno for Pyros, for Dana's dogs
|
|
o Some Animals tune for zookeeper Jack Hanna
|
|
o "Thank You Falettinme Be Myself (Again)" by Sly & Family
|
|
Stone, as one of Dave's staff and his grade-school gym
|
|
teacher were re-enacting a groin rejuvenation exercise
|
|
o A Sam & Dave tune, when Sam (Donaldson) was on with Dave
|
|
o "Wah Wah" by George Harrison for Barbara Walters
|
|
o "You're Still a Young Man" by Tower of Power for Neil
|
|
Patrick Harris
|
|
o "Stagger Lee" for Kathie Lee Gifford
|
|
o "Bennie and the Jets" by Elton John for Dave when he
|
|
gets in one of his "HEY KIDS!" moods
|
|
o "Cocaine" by Eric Clapton following a Top Ten list
|
|
on the space shuttle Columbia
|
|
o "Raindrops Keep Fallin' on My Head" by B. J. Thomas
|
|
for Jay Thomas
|
|
o "You Are So Beautiful" by the Commodores for Phoebe Cates
|
|
o "New Kid in Town" by the Eagles for Conan O'Brien
|
|
o "Walk This Way" by Aerosmith for "Top Ten Things Aeroflot
|
|
Can Do To Improve Its Image"
|
|
o "It's Raining Men" (written by Paul Shaffer!) for Damon
|
|
Wayans (who uses it for his "Blaine and Antoine" routines)
|
|
o "Jeremy" by Pearl Jam *and* "Joy to the World" by Three
|
|
Dog Night for Jeremy Irons
|
|
o The theme from "Three's Company" for "Top Ten Good Things
|
|
About Marrying Tom and Roseanne"
|
|
o "Shipoopi," from _The Music Man_ for "Top Ten Ways To
|
|
Mispronounce Jeff Gillooly"
|
|
o "Tenth Avenue Freeze-out" by Bruce Springsteen for South
|
|
Pole explorer Norman Vaughan
|
|
o "Atomic Dog" by George Clinton for Ellen Barkin
|
|
o "Pick up the Pieces" by the Average White Band for "Top Ten
|
|
Fabio Pick-up Lines"
|
|
o "I Touch Myself" by the DaVinyls for Sandra Bernhard
|
|
o "Red Red Wine" by UB40 when Dave donated blood on stage
|
|
Thanks: Malinda McCall, Barney Luttbeg, Jennifer Rippel, Basil
|
|
T. Maglaris, beezus@utxvms.cc.utexas.edu, Robert Reardon, Dave
|
|
Calam, Patricia Bender, Kent Sebastiano, Jason Miller, Carl
|
|
Vanderbush, "Leroy Brown," Richard A. Chonak, S. Trowbridge,
|
|
Kevin G. Barkes, Kurt at PSUVM, Dean Adams, Charlie Bryant,
|
|
Dave Calam, Roy Eassa, Lon Huber and "skorpio."
|
|
|
|
Q. I know that Paul is from Canada, but where?
|
|
A. Thunder Bay, Ontario. He was born there November 28, 1949.
|
|
|
|
Q. Who produces and directs LSWDL?
|
|
A. Executive Producer -- Peter Lassally (a Carson associate)
|
|
Executive Producer -- Robert Morton (aka "Marty Robbins")
|
|
before Morty ... Jack Rollins (and for a while, Dave was co-EP)
|
|
Producer -- Jude Brennan
|
|
before Jude ... Barry Sand (also produced _SCTV_)
|
|
Supervising Producer/Director -- Hal Gurnee
|
|
Head Writer -- Rob Burnett
|
|
before Rob ... Steve O'Donnell
|
|
before Steve ... James Downey
|
|
before James ... Merrill Markoe (the original head writer)
|
|
Notable Ex-writer ... Chris Elliott
|
|
Notable Ex-Visuals Coordinator ... Edd Hall (now the _Tonight_
|
|
show announcer on NBC and brother of Stupid Pet Tricks
|
|
coordinator Susan Hall Sheehan)
|
|
|
|
Q. What's "the GE corporate handshake"?
|
|
A. In 1986, shortly after General Electric announced its acquisition
|
|
of NBC, Dave went with a camera crew and a fruit basket and/or
|
|
bottle of wine/champagne to the corporate headquarters in
|
|
Manhattan as a gift to GE Chairman Jack Welch. In one of the
|
|
most-talked moments in the show's history, Dave and the crew were
|
|
met in the lobby by a security thug who told them to shut off the
|
|
camera and get out of the building. Being the polite Midwesterner
|
|
he is, Dave extended his hand to the security guy, who in turn
|
|
extended *his* hand ... then quickly retracted it without consum-
|
|
mating the grip and release. This, then, became known as the GE
|
|
corporate handshake. (The security guy repeated this with Hal
|
|
Gurnee, who was accompanying Dave on the shoot.) The moment is
|
|
now remembered as the turning point in Dave's relationship with
|
|
the network and its GE-appointed brass, notably the weasels in
|
|
Burbank who thought that Dave was too "mean."
|
|
|
|
Q. What's all this about an Australian version of Late Night?
|
|
A. There used to be a self-admitted knockoff of Dave's show,
|
|
"Tonight Live," hosted by Steve Vizard. It was cancelled in
|
|
late 1993. In its place, Australian t.v. has begun to broadcast
|
|
the Late Show. >>> And Don Maple writes from Germany to report
|
|
this Deutscheplunderwerk: "Started a couple of months ago. The
|
|
show is called _Nacht-Show_ hosted by a creature called Thomas
|
|
Koschwitz. A shameless rip-off with almost identical intro,
|
|
identical desk, (attempted) identical host behaviour, repartee
|
|
with the band leader, top 10 lists, etc, etc."
|
|
|
|
Q. What was the translation of the Japanese on the kites in the
|
|
Late Night opening sequence (1992-93)?
|
|
A. One said "Late Night," another, "G.E. sucks." Then, when NBC
|
|
announced they'd signed Jay Leno as Johnny Carson's successor
|
|
on "Tonight," a third Japanese kite appeared: "Jay sucks."
|
|
|
|
Q. Boy, CBS sure pays Dave a lot of money.
|
|
A. Well, but bear in mind, it's *Worldwide Pants* they're forking
|
|
over the dollars to. That dollar figure you hear is, as Dave
|
|
says, "a lump production fee that CBS pays us" to do the show.
|
|
From this lump Dave draws his salary. However, the money is a
|
|
big boost from the NBC days and has allowed the Late Show crew
|
|
to attain new heights in visual excitement. (Haven't you been
|
|
watching?) Exactly how big that budget or his salary is, Dave's
|
|
not saying. >>> But get this. According to Bill Carter, Viacom
|
|
would have paid about $50 million for Dave, given him a huge
|
|
show budget, and made Dave the focal property, including
|
|
possible special projects for Viacom-owned cable networks (MTV,
|
|
VH1, and now Viacom owns Paramount, so Dave could've gotten
|
|
Knicks season tickets to boot). Dave wanted to be on network
|
|
t.v. -- and would have taken less than CBS's offer to get the
|
|
_Tonight_ franchise.
|
|
|
|
Q. Is the Late Show closed-captioned?
|
|
A. It is. Scott Barvian says, "They obviously do the captioning
|
|
after the final edits are done; all the spelling is correct
|
|
and nothing is missed. They catch all of Paul's little
|
|
comments that [we] don't always pick up ... they even spelled
|
|
out Dave screaming in terror after picking up a hot towel
|
|
(OHHHH! AHHHH! JEEEZ!)." Jeff Zuk adds that sometimes the
|
|
closed captioning will even tell you what song the band is
|
|
playing.
|
|
|
|
Q. Hey! Dave said last night's recipe for Salmon Fillets with Capers
|
|
would be on the newsletter and the hotline today and it wasn't!
|
|
A. SALMON FILLETS WITH CAPERS (4/25/94)
|
|
1-1/2 pounds boneless skinless salmon fillets cut into 4 slices
|
|
salt and pepper to taste
|
|
1/4 cup milk
|
|
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
|
|
2 tbsp. olive oil
|
|
4 tbsp. unsalted butter
|
|
1/3 cup drained capers
|
|
1/2 cup finely diced sweet red peppers
|
|
2 tbsp. red wine vinegar
|
|
2 tsp. balsamic vinegar
|
|
4 tbsp. chopped chives
|
|
|
|
1. Sprinkle each slice of salmon on both sides with salt and
|
|
pepper to taste. Dip them in milk, remove the excess and dredge
|
|
in the flour. Remove excess flour.
|
|
2. In a non-stick skillet large enough to hold all the salmon
|
|
fillets in one layer heat the olive oil over high heat. Add the
|
|
salmon and cook one side for 2 minutes. Flip over and cook for
|
|
another 2 minutes. Do not overcook.
|
|
3. Transfer the salmon to a warm serving plate.
|
|
4. Add the capers, red pepper and butter to the skillet. Cook
|
|
over high heat until lightly browned, shaking the pan often.
|
|
Add both vinegars to the skillet. Bring to a boil while
|
|
swirling them. Pour this immediately over the salmon. Sprinkle
|
|
with the chives. Serve with boiled potatoes. Yield: 4 Servings.
|
|
(Thank you, Christine.)
|
|
|
|
Q. Gosh, I'm young and stupid. Wouldn't it be great to intern at
|
|
the Late Show?
|
|
A. There's a book that rates a Letterman gig as among the top 100
|
|
internships to have. But as it cautions, that doesn't mean
|
|
an absence of donkey work. "Several interns reported having to
|
|
fetch lunch for Dave ('every day it was the same pasta primavera
|
|
and vegetable soup') or whip up a snack ('Dave always had to
|
|
have his fresh pineapple -- cut in strips, not squares')."
|
|
Still, you could touch fame, like the Talent intern who wound up
|
|
finding wacky cooking lady Bev Tanner. Or, you might be asked
|
|
to call aspiring novelty guests and tell them sorry. "On hearing
|
|
the news, they would sometimes become angry or crestfallen
|
|
because 'where else can a person show off his potato chip
|
|
collection to eight million people?'" Don't expect much quality
|
|
time with Dave, no matter what: he is "cordial" when you
|
|
encounter him, but "aloof."
|
|
|
|
Q. Is there some way to find out in advance what reruns of Late
|
|
Night are showing on the E! entertainment television network?
|
|
A. Call (213) 954-2750. Press 1 to hear the Late Night schedule for
|
|
the week (changes every Monday). The reruns are aired "seven
|
|
Daves a week" at 10 p.m. Eastern time. Or, check each week's
|
|
issue of LATE SHOW NEWS (see the end of this FAQ). In fact,
|
|
that's the course we recommend, because some weeks E! doesn't
|
|
even bother to update the hotline -- and wouldn't you really
|
|
rather learn that on someone else's nickel?
|
|
|
|
Q. Let's say I want to be a guest on the show -- what should I do?
|
|
A. Directly from Dave himself: "I don't care who you are, I don't
|
|
care what you do. If you have four funny stories, you can be a
|
|
guest on this show. That's what we're looking for."
|
|
|
|
Q. I've often wondered why Dave doesn't have guest hosts on his
|
|
show the way Johnny Carson always did.
|
|
A. Look where it got Carson.
|
|
|
|
======================================================================
|
|
About this FAQ List, the A. F. of L. Archive, and LATE SHOW NEWS.
|
|
======================================================================
|
|
|
|
Q. Where can I find this FAQ when I need it (i.e., later)?
|
|
--> It will be posted here and to news.answers twice a month,
|
|
on the 6th and 20th. The list is also available via
|
|
anonymous FTP from ftp.mcs.net in the file
|
|
/mcsnet.users/barnhart/letterman/
|
|
alt.fan.letterman.faq.txt
|
|
and is also available via anonymous FTP from rtfm.mit.edu
|
|
in the directories
|
|
/pub/usenet/alt.fan.letterman OR
|
|
/pub/usenet/news.answers/letterman
|
|
The FAQ is also via mail server. Send mail to
|
|
mail-server@rtfm.mit.edu
|
|
with the following line in the body:
|
|
send usenet/news.answers/letterman/faq
|
|
|
|
Q. Is the alt.fan.letterman newsgroup available as a mailing list?
|
|
A. No.
|
|
|
|
Q. How can I contribute?
|
|
A. Send your submissions, questions, and comments to:
|
|
letterman@mcs.net
|
|
|
|
Q. Does this newsgroup have an archive?
|
|
A. There are others, but I'll only vouch for one, which I keep
|
|
personally and have maintained for more than six months now at
|
|
ftp.mcs.net:/mcsnet.users/barnhart/letterman
|
|
|
|
Also, check out these World Wide Web clients if you've got
|
|
WWW-compatible software:
|
|
http://bingen.cs.csbsju.edu/letterman.html
|
|
http://www.cen.uiuc.edu/~jl8287/letterman.html
|
|
|
|
Q. Would somebody please type in the entire Playboy interview with
|
|
Dave? I don't read those kinds of magazines. Thanks.
|
|
A. OH NO! WE'RE GONNA GET SUED!
|
|
|
|
Q. I crave that late-breaking news about all the big stars, and
|
|
what bigger star is there than Dave Letterman?
|
|
A. Look no further, Sparky, because your charming FAQkeeper
|
|
has taken that matter into his own hands. Introducing the
|
|
new electronic sheet, LATE SHOW NEWS, with up-to-the-moment
|
|
info from the late-night talk circuit generally, and especially
|
|
Dave's show. It will be posted to alt.fan.letterman, rec.arts.
|
|
tv, alt.zines, and alt.tv.talkshows.late every Tuesday. You
|
|
also may subscribe to the LATE-SHOW-NEWS mailing list to get
|
|
each issue mailed directly to you. Write listserv@mcs.net, leave the
|
|
Subject line blank, and send only the following as your message:
|
|
subscribe late-show-news
|
|
|
|
======================================================================
|
|
Sources for this Frequently Asked Questions list.
|
|
======================================================================
|
|
|
|
--> Beautiful People.
|
|
|
|
Well, of course, kudos to D. Keith Rice for maintaining the list
|
|
since way back, I think 1956, '57, before giving it to me. For
|
|
contributing to this list, Keith and I are indebted to Dean
|
|
Adams, Fritz Anderson, Greg Anderson, Ken Anderson, Jason Bak,
|
|
J.D. Baldwin, John Bartol, Scott Barvian, Laurence Bier, John
|
|
Bonacci, Joel Chan, Crist Clark, John Clear, Brian Conn, Marc
|
|
Conte, Todd Cooper, Lewis Coury, Richard Dawson, Matt Dittrich,
|
|
Jef Dodd, Sean Donnelly, David Eccleston, Susan Fanelli, Kevin
|
|
Fong, Eric Fritzius, bj gleason, Mark Goldberg, Robert
|
|
Goldsborough, Norm Gregory, Chris Eliot Haroian, Mathew A.
|
|
Hennessy, Rachel Hill, John Hritz, Ben Jackson, Bill Jones, Doug
|
|
Krause, Ed Krauss, Lana Krotenko, Bob Kupiec, James Langdell,
|
|
James LaPlaine, Don Leaman, Jason Lindquist, Gord Locke, Robert
|
|
Lopez, Lon Lowen, Ian McCuaig, Ken McGlothlen, Bill McGonigle,
|
|
Alan "Mr. Tucks" McKendree, Leigh Meydrech, Shamim Zvonko Mohamed,
|
|
Ken Mohnker, "Noel" at microsoft.com, John Oram, Brian Peek,
|
|
Marshal Perlman, Alan Perry, Tad Perry, Dave Platt, Michael
|
|
Regoli, Tony Rice, Tom Sakoda, Steve Shauger, Bill Sherman, Jeff
|
|
Shimbo, Jason Snell, Greg Sroka, Jeff Stephan, Ben Sterling,
|
|
Christopher Taylor, David C. Tuttle, Wendy Tyrol, Rich Urena,
|
|
Tim Veatch, Jeff Wilder, Mike Wittman, Eric "Beermaker" Witmayer,
|
|
Eric Wood, and the illustrious yet enigmatical Mr. Donz5.
|
|
|
|
--> Primary Print Sources.
|
|
|
|
"Is This Man the New Johnny Carson?", _Chicago Tribune,_ 1/6/80.
|
|
_Playboy_ magazine interviews, 1984 and 1994.
|
|
_The Late Shift_ by Bill Carter, 1994.
|
|
_The David Letterman Story_ by Caroline Latham, 1987.
|
|
"Stay Up Late" by James Kaplan, _The New Yorker,_ 1/16/89.
|
|
"Flying Feet & Fingers," by Peter Gambaccini, _Runner's World,_ 3/92.
|
|
|
|
This article is Copyright (c) 1994 by Aaron Barnhart.
|
|
It may be freely redistributed so long as the author's name, and this
|
|
notice, remain intact. It may be distributed as long as no fee is
|
|
charged for distribution. If it is made available for downloading on
|
|
a bulletin board system (BBS) that charges a fee for downloading priv-
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ileges, it must be in a directory that is available to all BBS users,
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including those that have not paid. If the BBS does not have any
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file directories available for all paid and non-paid users, this FAQ
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must not be made available for download.
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.o ____~~~~_____~.
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..( )....
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( Woo! Man! That ))
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.ooo. ( . )
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/ ))' \ ( is 100 proof potatoes! ) o.
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{ , , } 'o ( )
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( "_" ) ..o' (o.. Ain't it? .)
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" .o. " .(. ) )
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.---/\___//\----. .(.~~~ ___...) o
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." .\ Y |. `. .o -------o.
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: .\ ^ |. `>.
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; \ /^\ |. .\. >..
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; | /^\ \ " `.. `>.
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: \ /^\ | ./ "<.. `..
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; { /^\ \./: ""<.. `\
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________\ "~~~~...._\/_/________`\\_/===.,___________
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\,,,.../~~~=~ `~~~'
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(courtesy Tim Veatch)
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--
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Aaron Barnhart
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letterman@mcs.net
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