138 lines
7.8 KiB
Plaintext
138 lines
7.8 KiB
Plaintext
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= F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. =
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What Happened To You
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Ever have a person you met turn into a pretty good friend. Someone
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whom you could hang out with and talk a lot of shit? Then, after
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thinking you knew this person so well something about them changed.
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Something you could not understand or relate to. Almost as if your
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old friend had died and a new one had taken their place. Maybe you
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thought this change could be good but unfortunately their new persona
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didn't include you so it was as if your friend actually did die. I
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had a friend like that. This is the story of how he changed...for
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better or for worse.
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Senior year of High School a couple of friends and I were getting
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ready to shove off to college. One of my closest friends, Mark,
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began acting a little differently that year. Perhaps it was the
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excitement he anticipated with college in the coming year.
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Mark and I got along pretty well--we both seemed to fit into that
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"nerd/geek" category at our school. A couple of people passing
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through with few friends and not belonging to any special "cool" club
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or group unless you would call the Astronomy or Computer club cool.
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Thinking back Mark probably had more so called "friends" then I did
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though we did know quite a few people. We all "know" people but
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talking and hanging out with them was something totally different.
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One class we had in common was Computers. In this class there were
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about 30 people--22 taking Pascal and 8 of us taking FORTRAN/ML. We
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programmed on an Apple IIe which Mark had at home and could do
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any/all of his assignments on. This gave Mark quite an advantage
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over me and I expected it to show in his grades. I don't recall much
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of the class or the people but I do recall seeing the grades posted
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that 3rd quarter and discovering Mark had gotten a D or F. I had
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concluded it was Mark because I noticed he was slacking during that
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period--plus I knew the other 6 people taking the class. This is the
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first time I noticed a change in Mark. He seemed to be slipping not
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only in computers but in all his classes--maybe because he had been
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accepted at the university. Mark was excited about attending college
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but he and I knew Engineering/Physics was no easy road so why was
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there a lack of effort his final semesters of High School.
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Though Mark and I were good friends we decided not to room together
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at college for various reasons. Among them being that we did not
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want to hate each other after living together--a horror story we
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heard about. Furthermore by rooming with others we would meet new
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friends and perhaps not be so withdrawn. We graduated that May
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(1988) and were off to college after a Summer of work at the same
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store.
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That Fall we found ourselves at college 300 miles from our homes. We
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met new friends and lived not 100 yards from each other but ended up
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hanging out/talking much less than we did in high school. Mark only
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visited me a few times, and hardly ever called. It seemed I was
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always the caller or visitor at his place. Either it was me going to
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Mark or it was no seeing Mark. We ended up becoming further and
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further apart. This saddened me because Mark and I were good friends
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in high school and I anticipated an even better friendship to develop
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during our college years. But Mark had different plans.
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One Saturday night while hanging out in the dorm room I glanced out
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my window to see if I could spot what was happening over at Mark's
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place. I noticed Mark sitting in a chair laughing and moving his
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head quite a bit like he was in a drunken mode. I check that window
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about four times that night just to see if Mark was continuing to
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have a hell of a good time. And that was it! I had then figured it
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out. Mark had come to college to "have a great time." Fuck studying
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and college for the sake of learning Mark was out to party. I
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learned of Marks intentions after repeatedly visiting him and having
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his roommates tell me they had not seen him for days and the last
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time they saw him he was drunk. That story by him of living off the
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vending machines for three days seems remotly possible now.
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Later that first semester Mark and I passed each other as I was
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heading back to my dorm. Mark asks how my "sex life was." So I
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asked him "what sex life" then returned the same question. Mark
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replied "great" and proceeded to walk off with a smile. It was then
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and a few tell tale signs later that I fully understood Marks
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intentions for these few months of his life--party, drink,
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fuck...enjoy life.
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The next semester came and I discovered Mark was no longer living on
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campus but with a friend in a 1 bedroom apartment off campus. By
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this time we had hardly seen each other anymore and I learned of his
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moving via his old roommates and not by him. About Spring time of
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that second semester I learned that Mark had not registered for
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classes, VAX'ed most the day and was later picked up and moved back
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home by his dad. A year (not sure if it was a year or actually
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months) later Mark joined the Air Force. Perhaps this might be
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typical of college freshmen but for Mark or what I knew to be Mark
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this was a quantum leap.
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I've always been curious about what happened to Mark during that year
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but never got any real answers from him. Mark claimed to have gotten
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good grades that semester yet his roommates claimed he would have had
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to have been a "fucking genius" to get the grades he said he did.
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Why else would Mark have re-taken Calculus at a community college.
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Mark and I still talk on the phone every so often (year or so) but
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Mark is a different then the kid I once knew in High School. It is
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hard to believe Mark is a married man now--especially if you knew him
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in high school.
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It took a lot of strength to change the way Mark did--to transgress
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from a semi introverted person to a "party animal." Strength I have
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yet to find within myself. When I look back at Mark and his exploits
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I often wonder why I was not included--maybe because I often resist
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change. It's hard to see a friend go out like that and forget about
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you. Even harder to swallow is that perhaps you were not the friend
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you made your self out to be.
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-Pallbearer
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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
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= Questions, Comments, Bitches, Ideas, Rants, Death Threats, etc etc... =
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= Internet : jericho@netcom.com =
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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
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= Chemical Persuasion 203.324.0894 Celestial Woodlands 214.252.6455 =
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= Ionic Destruction 215.722.0570 Hacker's Haven 303.343.4053 =
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= E.L.F. (NUP) 314.272.3426 Misery 318.625.4532 =
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= Dungeon Sys. Inc. 410.263.2258 Psykodelik Images 407.834.4576 =
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= Digital Fallout 516.378.6640 Plan 9 716.881.3663 =
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= Deadly Intoxication 801.553.8644 Purple Hell 806.791.0747 =
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= Logikal Nonsence 814.861.7282 PuRe EViL (NUP) 905.XXX.XXXX =
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= The Keg 914.234.9674 =
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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
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= Files through Anonymous FTP: FTP.NETCOM.COM - cd /pub/il/illusion/fuck =
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= FTP.FC.NET - cd /pub/deadkat/misc/fuck =
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= ADS112.RH.PSU.EDU - cd /pub/magazines/fuck =
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= FTP.WINTERNET.COM - cd /users/craigb/fuck =
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= http://www.ora.com:8080/johnl/e-zine-list/zines/fuck.html =
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