131 lines
7.8 KiB
Plaintext
131 lines
7.8 KiB
Plaintext
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= F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. =
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Technology and Adults
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I've been flying around the country for the last three weeks straight
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during this last round of speeches. Life has become a blur of airports
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and shuttle rides, but hey, I'm single, so who cares?
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Flying on a frequent basis causes one to lose their sense of humor very
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quickly. Especially if you fly Southwest, Continental or Delta.
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Flying out of LAX late last September, at the beginning of my latest
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trip, I flew Southwest into Pheonix, transferred to a flight supposedly
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going to St. Louis. The plane was about 90 minutes late due to missed
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connection flights elsewhere in the country. Once boarded, we had to
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divert to Houston to graciously pick up stranded passengers. Then to
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St.Louis, with more delays, and then off to Cleveland, my final
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destination for that particular leg. I should have arrived at 3:40 PM,
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and managed to arrive at 11:45 at night.
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Returning to LAX for a few days, a one stop connection flight out of St.
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Louis turned into a five state romp, as we landed in St. Louis, where we
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became 37th! in line for take-off, and then had to land in Kansas City
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because they forgot to load the food on the plane. (Food turned out to
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be peanuts and soft drinks!) Now to Houston, then to Pheonix, then
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finally home to LAX, and only five hours late! Needless to say, my ride
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had long since bailed, and I had to get home in the middle of the night
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on my own...no easy task in Los Angeles!
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It turned out I had to return to the East Coast very quickly. I boarded my
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Continental flight, vowing to never fly Southwest again, and everything
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was uneventful upon landing in Houston for my transfer to Pittsburgh.
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Yet, on that second leg of the flight, about ten miles out from our
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landing, there was a huge cracking sound. The pilot informed us we were
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quickly losing hydraulic pressure, and in an attempt to maintain maximum
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lift, were ditching fuel all over the nice citizens of Pittsburgh.
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Landing with excesssive lateral g-forces is never a good idea. The wheels
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touched down, and the forces were trying to throw the back end of the
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plane to the left and around us. We jarred to the left, bounced up, and
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once again tried a left spin. All was fine after all was said and done
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and we were on the ground. A runway full of fire trucks waiting to meet
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your plane is not a pretty sight.
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Business done four days later and off to Marshall Space Flight Center in
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Alabama. A huge intercontinental storm was in full force, and I learned I
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was going right into the heart of it on a fucking prop plane! I looked at
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the attendant, and asked if she was sure the rubber bands were wound
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tight enough for this flight.
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It wasn't too bad, except upon landing...no luggage! "I'm sorry sir. I
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don't know how it happened, but our computers show that your luggage
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arrived several hours ago in Newark, and have been transferred to a
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flight headed for Amsterdam. Fill out this form and here's a
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complimentary shaving kit."
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I arrive at the hotel with my shaving kit, and find my "credit-card-
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guaranteed-and-paid-for-room-with-late-arrival" was not available.
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"Give...me...a...fucking...room...now!" I said. Once inside my room,
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I threw my kit down, I headed out for dinner at the only place available
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in Madison, Alabama...WAFFLE HOUSE! (They don't know what a Denny's is,
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but the banner saying "America's Place to Eat, Americas Place to Work"
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didn't convince me much.
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All is fine, I get to the airport for a two hundred mile flight to
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Cincinatti, where I transfer non-stop to LAX. Twelve hours later I board
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the plane. I asked why they were so late, they said, "We lost the plane
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we were going to use somewhere, can't find it, and had to fly one in from
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Pheonix to get you guys out of here." How the HELL do you lose a 747?!
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I arrived home, crashed, and woke up to find my luggage on my doorstep. I
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opened it up and grabbed the Pepsi that had flown about twenty-thousand
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miles in the last week and kicked back to enjoy it.
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Airlines cannot deliver what they promise. I have not had a single flight
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arrive on time in the last year (50+ round trip flights) yet. They lose
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planes, send luggage to the wrong countries, and literally feed you
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peanuts during transcontinental flights. They cannot get their other
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planes in on time, causing other planes long delays and unplanned stops
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to pick up stranded passengers abandoned by other flights.
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I think technology has become an unmanageable drawback to the airlines.
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Back in the days of stickers being used on luggage, instead of bar codes,
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your luggage may have arrived elsewhere than you, but at least not across
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the world from you.
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Lost hotels reservations, paid for reservations, didn't become lost.
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Employees were much more able to answer your questions when they didn't
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have to rely on computers for their answers. The computer is never
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supposed to lie, but it is obvious they do, as the computer only does
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what is instructed of it by humans, and humans, in general, are complete
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morons who can barely turn them on, much less use them correctly.
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se7en
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= Questions, Comments, Bitches, Ideas, Rants, Death Threats, etc etc... =
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= Internet : jericho@dimensional.com (Mail is welcomed) =
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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
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= gote land +27.31.441115 =
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= Arrested Development +31.77.3547477 =
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= Global Chaos +61.2.681.2837 =
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= Chemical Persuasion 203.324.0894 Undrgrnd Indust/Inc. 207.490.2158 =
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= Damnation 212.861.0580 Damnation -Toll Free 888.803.8490 =
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= Hacker's Haven 303.516.9969 Unearthly Shadows 303.683.1443 =
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= E.L.F. (NUP) 314.272.3426 Misery 318.625.4532 =
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= Dungeon Sys. Inc. 410.263.2258 Psykodelik Images -- Down -- =
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= Paradise Lost 414.476.3181 Black SunShine 513.891.3465 =
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= underworld_1995.com 514.683.1894 Digital Fallout 516.378.6640 =
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= PSYCHOSiS 613.836.7211 Bad Trip 615.870.8805 =
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= Plan 9 716.881.3663 suicidal chaos 718.592.1083 =
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= Damaged 801.944.7353 The Death Star Bar 805.872.3151 =
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= Purple Hell 806.791.0747 BloodNet 901.872.8615 =
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= Atrocity Exhibition 905.796.3385 Phoenix Modernz 908.830.8265 =
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= The Keg 914.234.9674 that stupid place 215.985.0462 =
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= Files through Anon FTP FTP.DIMENSIONAL.COM/users/jericho/FUCK =
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= FTP.PRISM.NET/pub/users/mercuri/zines/fuck =
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= FTP.WINTERNET.COM/users/craigb/fuck =
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= FTP.GIGA.OR.AT/pub/hackers/zines/FUCK =
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= ETEXT.ARCHIVE.UMICH.EDU - /pub/Zines/FUCK =
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= FTP.DIMENSIONAL.COM - /users/rage/zines/fuck =
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= Files through WWW: http://www.dimensional.com/~jericho =
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= http://www.prism.net/zineworld/fuck/ =
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= (c) Copyright. All files copyright by the original author =
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