75 lines
4.7 KiB
Plaintext
75 lines
4.7 KiB
Plaintext
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= F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. =
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A Femme's Philosophy
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Right now my best "frend" is over, pacing around the house talking to
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=Stud o' The Week=, paying absolutely no attention to me AND using my
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telephone line. Rushing over to ask me if I've read some book as a child
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called _The Phantom Tollbooth_, because this guy thinks it's cool if she has.
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Wellllll, she never read it, but I have, so I told her parts of the book
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to convince him that she read it. hehe....
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But anyway, that leaves me sitting here alone with abstract thoughts
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flying around in my head. Thinking of how much I've changed lately, and
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more particularly, in the past couple years. I think about it a lot. Do
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you ever reminisce about the good old care-free days? When I was younger
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I used to imagine myself as older, wonder what I'd be doing, as I sat in
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the mud and made mud pies and weed bouquets for Barbie. I never had a
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computer and I used to be normal. I guess I still am, to some extent.
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Then again, it depends on your idea of "normal." Where did my mother go
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wrong???
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Anyway, here I am now. A cyberwhore (yep, I'm femme!) if nothing
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else. OK, well maybe not, but do fall hard for guys who talk in 'codes'
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instead of cheesy pick-up lines. =P I keep getting side-tracked..... Like
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I was saying, I think about change.... I do a lot of things that people
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normally wouldn't do (feel free to question me on that), take pretty much
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any dare. But it's the way of thinking I've taken on; it's completely
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different than it used to be. At times I feel so much more mature than
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people my age.
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I fear nothing; I like nightmares; I like to dominate. Control.
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There is no such thing as control. There is no All-Powerful God who is
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in control either. There are too many random acts of tragedy to put much
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faith in that. Control is just some concept made up by humans. Much like
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the idea of time, just something created....
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I have a major trust problem. This is because damn near everybody
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in my life that I put any faith into were "here today, gone tomorrow" types.
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Who isn't..? I used to revolve my life around people and put everything I
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had into 'frendships' and then one day...CRASH. I realized that not a soul
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was around to hear me.. to care. I was really sad about it, I used to cry.
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And then I hardened myself and quit crying too. Nothing really makes me
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cry anymore. No shock value, I've seen it all. And in high skool I never
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really talked to anybody, felt quite detached from them. I was smart, I got
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good grades, but I was always picked on for keeping to myself. That never
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really changed. But at least now I've learned to deal with it and be
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self-sufficient. Don't get me wrong, I have a lot of 'frends', but it
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sucks because I can't trust a single one of them. Is pain so bad when one
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believes in nothing? Take one pain-killer and call me in the morning.....
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OK, time to wreak some havoc on the "frend" using up my phone line....
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SkiNFloweR
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skinflower@cyberjunkie.com
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= Questions, Comments, Bitches, Ideas, Rants, Death Threats, Submissions =
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= Mail: jericho@dimensional.com (Mail is welcomed) =
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= To receive new issues through mail, mail jericho@dimensional.com with =
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= "subscribe fuck". If you do not have FTP access and would like back =
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= issues, send a list of any missing issues and they will be mailed. =
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= Files through AnonFTP FTP.DIMENSIONAL.COM/users/jericho/FUCK =
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= FTP.SEKURITY.ORG/pub/zines/fucked.up.college.kids =
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= FTP.PRISM.NET/pub/users/mercuri/zines/fuck =
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= FTP.WINTERNET.COM/users/craigb/fuck =
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= FTP.GIGA.OR.AT/pub/hackers/zines/FUCK =
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= ETEXT.ARCHIVE.UMICH.EDU/pub/Zines/FUCK =
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= Files through WWW: http://www.dimensional.com/~jericho =
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= http://www.prism.net/zineworld/fuck/ =
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= (c) Copyright. All files copyright by the original author. =
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