133 lines
7.5 KiB
Plaintext
133 lines
7.5 KiB
Plaintext
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= F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. =
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She Lied To Me
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She'll be mine.. That's how the conversation began if
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I recollect correctly. But the past is getting so hazy in my
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mind lately.. I just need to write these things down.. You know,
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because, I never know exactly when I'm going to forget them..
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I remember that night fairly well though..
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The sky was dim and the stars were starting to shine
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through.. I had the phone reciever pressed to my ear and I
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was speaking to the first person that I'd ever
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met online over the phone.. We were friends then.. I was
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convincing this girl that I'd be able to get one of her sisters
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to love me.. Hell, it started as a joke.. But it didn't end
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a joke.. After about two hours of discussion on all kinds of
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enthralling topics I hung up.
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It was about two months later and I signed online very
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early. I was startled to recieve a message so early. It was
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a private communications directed to me from this girls sister,
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Emily. She explained to me that her sister, Katie, had told
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her what I had said, and she demanded an explanation. Of course,
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being the type of guy that I am, I got a sly grin on my face.
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I sent a message back to her and we began a rather lengthy
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talk about nothing in particular. We noticed that we had many
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similarities, we were both pyromaniacs, single, and both really
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disliked authoritarian figures. I asked for her phone number
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and recieved three of them.
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It was nearing mid-afternoon when I called her. I remember
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the first conversation very clearly. She sounded just like an angel
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you know.. I knew I was really going to love this girl. A few hours
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later we were as you could say, a couple. I remember how blessed
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I felt.
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Things progressed steadily from there. We became very close
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and I felt I could trust her with anything. We told each other
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about the hardships in are life and the such and I decided I was
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going to go visit her. So I hopped onto a plane and headed to
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New York. Now little did I know I'd have quite a time finding
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her house. And of course, being a man, I wasn't about to ask
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for directions. So, about three days later, I still hadn't
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found her house and I got on a plane and came home.
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I guess that was the thing that started the relationship
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on a downward spiral. Two months later I recieved a herendous
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teleconference bill from a PBX that got traced back to my line,
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and I was unable to go online. I was unable to touch a phone
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and dial her.. Things were getting very grim.
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A few months later I was able to return and things seemed
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just like normal. Things were upbeat and happy. Or so I thought.
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It was nearing spring and I headed out to the Cayman Islands for
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break. I stayed there with a few friends and really hit it off
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with this hacker girl I met. Things went rather well and I was
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on my way back home in what seemed like no time. I didn't think
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much of what happened with that girl in the Cayman Islands.. But
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it came back to haunt me.
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Upon reentering the country I placed a call to Katie in
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Minnesota and told her what happened. I told her I was going to
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tell Emily and I didn't want her to say anything. But of course,
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I couldn't bring myself to say anything. But.. Katie told her,
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Emily didn't let me know that. Maybe because she didn't believe
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it, maybe because she didn't want to.
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It was approaching summer that Saturday morning my life
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turned to hell. I called Emily and had an elaborate discussion on
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hip replacement surgery with her.. And I said, hey, let me go on
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your account and you can go on mine. She agreed and gave me her
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account name and password. I noticed she had e-mail so I figured
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she wouldn't care if I read it.. I fully expected her to read mine.
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I opened her mail box and read a letter from Katie. All seemed
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well. But then I came along some lining which I did not like
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at all.. It said something along the lines of.. "Yes, Jesse is
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coming up this summer.. Your lucky you have such a good guy like
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Chris that is going to come visit you.. I guess we're both going
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to have a great summer.." I noticed just then my name wasn't Chris.
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I stored all over her e-mail on my computer and deleted it from
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her mailbox.
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Then came the letter I wrote. I wrote up a bitter
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and spiteful message in Notepad, and sent it off to Emily's
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account. She read it and replied with quite a heart wrenching
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note.. A few depressing notes later.. I was out the only thing
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I really cared about..
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After those notes I called my friends and talked to
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them.. But they could offer me no support.. They could offer
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me no help, they could offer me nothing. I decided I needed
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to get outside, out of the house. I went and hung out with
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my friends and went to a party later that night. I tried to call
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Emily from a payphone at the party.. But no one answered.
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I ended up spending the night over my friends house.. I told
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him what happened.. and he replied.. "She was always a bitch
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anyway.." and he lit up his joint he had hanging out of
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his mouth.
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The next morning I was so depressed I could hardly
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open my eyes. It seemed like the weight of the world was
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coming down on me.. I went home almost immediately and
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layed down on my bed and gazed aimlessly at the cieling.
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I turned on some music, but nothing was loud enough.. I'd like
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to say things got easier from there, but they didn't.
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We didn't speak for nearly a month after those
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altercations.. But when we eventually did, things were
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not the same. As much as I wanted them to be, they weren't,
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they never would be again. That summer we briefly got back
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together, only to be resplitup because she was cheating on
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me yet again..
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My heart is still broken from all of this. I learned
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that it isn't a good idea to trust or love anyone. Never
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trust anyone with secrets and you cannot get hurt. Never
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love anyone and you have nothing to worry about. I feel like
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my heart got stomped on.. I still do.. I still fucking do.
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Remember everything when only memories remain..
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-dropcomm
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= Questions, Comments, Bitches, Ideas, Rants, Death Threats, Submissions =
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= issues, send a list of any missing issues and they will be mailed. =
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= WWW http://www.dimensional.com/~jericho =
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= http://www.reps.net/~krypt/fuck.html =
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= http://www.interlog.com/~lisa/f.u.c.k =
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= (c) Copyright. All files copyright by the original author. =
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