86 lines
4.4 KiB
Plaintext
86 lines
4.4 KiB
Plaintext
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= F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. =
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hands
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my hands are too soft. they used to be rough, calloused.
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they would get caught on the hay in the barn i kept a
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horse in. they would get pinched and dry from the ropes
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i tied on the boat my parents owned. they would
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get torn on the lawnmower i used every Saturday to cut
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the grass. they were strong from stocking shelves at the
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grocery store. my hands had character. they were used.
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you could point out the tender parts on the flesh
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and figure out how they got there. they weren't the
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pale smooth beacons of laziness they are today. i
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remember when they would be stained with ink and oils
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from the writing and painting i did. now they are
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keyboard pure, and it is obvious that they do nothing
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but type.
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don't get me wrong. computers are hard work. but sometimes
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i miss the tactile side of life, where hay is rough
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and paint brushes scratch on the canvas, instead of
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the cool clean existence i have today. i still write,
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but the handwriting is in a monospace font stored as
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bits, instead of messy writing on roughened lined
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paper. i still paint, but the medium is electrons and
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the tool is a tablet, the canvas is a software program.
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too clean, too surreal.
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i consider the work i do for f.u.c.k. and the web sites i
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design to be creative expressions. but i fear now that
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i lean too heavily on technology.. certainly the quality
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of the work i do now has improved. much better than
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the chicken scratches on paper i used to create with
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colored pencil and pen. it seems that with spell
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checkers and editors and photoshop, the realm of
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possibility is simultaneously more closed and more open.
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on one hand, i can combine elements in photoshop that
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would be difficult to replicate on paper or canvas...
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say, a photo, the earth, a texture, and a 3D object.
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and when i type at the keyboard, my hands do not
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tire, and i am more focused on the words than i am
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when i write on paper.. no worries about hand cramps,
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neatness. mistakes can be erased as if by magic, and
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no trace is left in vi when i make changes. yet, there
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is less of an ability to play with the shapes of words,
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say, in a poem, and there is less of a personal touch
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in a rendered photoshop creation.
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i enjoy the hours i spend at my machine creating random
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things. but something is missing, something i cannot
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quite put my finger on. perhaps the aura of technology
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makes the work seem less of an act of creativity and
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more of a demonstration of technical prowess. perhaps
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the lack of the tactile makes the work seem less
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tedious and too simple. i do not know what it is, but
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i am reluctant to return to the tactile and see that
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my talent is non-existent.
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i guess it is time to buy a scanner, so that the waters
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of creation seem less treacherous.
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demonika
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= Questions, Comments, Bitches, Ideas, Rants, Death Threats, Submissions =
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= Mail: jericho@dimensional.com (Mail is welcomed) =
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= To receive new issues through mail, mail jericho@dimensional.com with =
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= "subscribe fuck". If you do not have FTP access and would like back =
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= issues, send a list of any missing issues and they will be mailed. =
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= AnonFTP FTP.DIMENSIONAL.COM/users/jericho/FUCK =
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= FTP.SEKURITY.ORG/pub/zines/fucked.up.college.kids =
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= FTP.GIGA.OR.AT/pub/hackers/zines/FUCK =
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= FTP.ETEXT.ORG/pub/Zines/FUCK =
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= WWW http://www.dimensional.com/~jericho =
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= http://www.reps.net/~krypt/fuck.html =
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= http://www.interlog.com/~lisa/f.u.c.k. =
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= (c) Copyright. All files copyright by the original author. =
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