372 lines
19 KiB
Plaintext
372 lines
19 KiB
Plaintext
GwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwD
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T h e G R E E N Y w o r l d D o m i n a t i o n T a s k F o r c e ,
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I n c o r p o r a t e d
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Presents:
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__ __ 999999999 0000000
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_____ ____ _| |__| |_ 9999 9999 000 000
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// | \ |_ __ _| 999 999 000 000 000
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|| ____ | || | | | | | 9999 9999 000 000 000
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|| || \ / | || | _| |__| |_ 9999999999 000 000 000
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\\___// \/\/ |____/ |_ __ _| 999 000 000 000
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|__| |__| 999 000 000
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999 0000000
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"Am I Old School Yet?" by Jaffo
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----- GwD: The American Dream with a Twist -- of Lime ***** Issue #90 -----
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----- release date: 01-03-01 ***** ISSN 1523-1585 -----
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-+- Ode To A Dead Cow -+-
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Once upon a time, there was a text file group, a charming collection of
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intellectual malcontents from Lubbock, Texas, carving out a niche in the digital
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underground.
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It was 1988. I was 17, calling up local bulletin boards on my friend's
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Commodore 64. All my friends had Commodores, but my parents bought me an Atari
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800XL. If they'd bought me a modem, my whole life might have been different.
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Instead, they bought me a word processor and a copy of Star Raiders. So while
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the members of this (now-famous) text file group were interviewing Neo-Nazis
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(see cDc-0059.txt) and scribing bizarre religious prophecies (see cDc-0056.txt),
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I was hunched over a map of Greyhawk, crafting character sheets on my Bank Street
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Writer.
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I was on the bare periphery of digital culture in high school. I spent my
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weekends at Harvey's house, begging to use his modem.
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I didn't really get "into" the BBS scene until I went to college. I stayed in
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the dorm, feeding my addiction at the Gaston Hall computer lab. They had an
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ancient Apple computer with a modem. I must have called a dozen boards a day,
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but the only two I remember from that era are "Trend" and "Neurochick's Biker
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Slut Haven."
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Five years earlier, I had accounts at "Dark Realm" and "The Crystal Palace."
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The "Palace" was the ultimate Lubbock BBS. I think he had almost 50 megs of
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files at one point.
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I dropped out of school and moved to Dallas. I learned how to tie a Windsor
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knot and got a bunch of temp jobs. I worked for Kelly Temporary Services in
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Irving. Some jobs were good. I was only 19, but the people at Smith-Kline
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Beecham would have hired me perm if they had anything.
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But as time wore on, the jobs got harder and I lost interest. They sent me on
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one assignment that I was *not* prepared for; they set me up as an "Executive
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Secretary" at GTE Telephone Operations. I was barely 20 years old. I could
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handle email and word processing, but I didn't know shit about protocol or
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office procedure. They should have fired me. Instead, they just ignored me.
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Even when I tried to get help, nobody seemed that interested.
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That's how I ended up logging almost 100 hours in long-distance calls to the GTE
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modem pool. I would call "Trend" and the "Haven" and download megs and megs
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worth of messages. I would format them in WordPerfect, double-columned, in a
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tiny font, and carry huge *bundles* of paper home with me at night, tucked
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inside my soft-side briefcase.
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At night, I would take them home and read, dreaming about friends and family and
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the home I missed in Lubbock.
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So, as a result, I may be the most well-read person who never posted* to a BBS.
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For some reason, I didn't mind wasting hours of long distance and reams of GTE
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paper, but I felt posting to a BBS on company time would be wrong.
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There was some logic to it. Downloading and printing these files was an
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automatic process. I could work on other tasks while this was going on.
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I'm actually quite ashamed of this, but those years in Dallas shaped my current
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attitude about online culture. My "read-only" status, and my intense longing
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for interaction with these people made the whole thing seem more important than
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it was.
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These were ordinary people, confused kids just like me. But reading their posts
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in my room every night, 300 miles away, they became celebrities.
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I tried to insert myself into the Dallas BBS culture, but it just didn't work.
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There were a lot more boards to choose from, but these kids just weren't as
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smart as the people I knew in Lubbock. Neurochick and JMG were like the first
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family of the digital underground. For whatever reason, Lubbock BBS culture was
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a cut above everywhere else I called.
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Stuck in a town full of rednecks and religious fantatics, the Lubbock culture
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was an escape, a refuge from a town that felt like a prison. The adversity made
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us stronger. It made us smarter. It made us introspective. And it made us
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funny!
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Two [actually three] major text file groups started in Lubbock, and a half-dozen
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others are worthy of praise. The most famous is the Cult of the Dead Cow</a>.
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You probably know them as the creators of Back Orifice.
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I was never in cDc. I met the founder at a party once. Ratte' was going to
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publish one of my files, but it never quite happened.
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Honestly, I'm disappointed that cDc has become famous for real hacking. The
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original cDc was a reaction against the arrogant, pretentious text files coming
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from real hacker groups. I think cDc #200</a> captures the true spirit of cDc.
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After a decade of quality stuff, I still think #200 is the best thing they ever
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did.
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cDc wasn't formed by hackers. It was formed by *posers*! -- proud, artistic
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posers who frequently got their asses kicked on the digital playground. cDc was
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a rebellion against the rebels, a refuge for snaggle-toothed lamerz who couldn't
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get accounts on an elite BBS.
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Now cDc makes hacking tools that scare people at the New York Times (see
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http://www.nytimes.com/library/tech/98/08/cyber/articles/02hacker.html). The
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article calls cDc "one of the oldest and most-respected hacking groups."
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What the fuck?
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BO2K is a sweet piece of code, but you guys will never be as a cool as 'Lil
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Bunny FOO-FOO.'
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I still respect cDc and I support its current mission, but dammit, I miss the
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old cDc.
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The cDc I remember wasn't about codez or warez or hacking or any of that shit.
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cDc was about art -- weird, sick, twisted, fucked-up art.
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I didn't want to see the guys get famous for Back Orifice or Gerbil Feed Bombs
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(see cDc-0001.txt). I wanted them to get famous for shit like cDc-0012.txt.
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cDc appealed to me because they understood the people behind the keyboards.
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They tapped into the angst and frustration felt by smart kids all over the
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world.
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But somewhere along the way, they grew up.
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We're living in a different time now. Digital culture has gone mainstream.
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Smart is cool. BBS culture is dead, and the Internet rules the Earth.
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In most ways, it's a better world. But I still miss the old days. I miss the
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days when it was six kids from Lubbock, taking on the world, one file at a time.
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-+- Mouseketeer Roll Call -+-
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Today, I know people who know people. There's a new generation of Lubbock
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writers out there, but now they're growing up, too. The "thank you" list in the
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GwD text files (see gwd50.txt) reads like a Who's Who of Lubbock BBS culture,
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from 1989 to 1995.
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"Acid Warlock (RnD), Ailanthus, Aracnia, Bezor Nova, Black Francis, Bob the
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Master of the World, Brazen, Breed_x, Bruno, Calypso (Zelia Winter), Captain
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Harlock, Chiba, Chilly Con Queso, Comrade Lenin, Cybereye, Diamondback,
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fastjack, Filo, Flea Killer, Franche Coma (Steve Ignorant), Franken Gibe,
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Genaerik, Hallucination, Hoggle (Wiley Coyote), Bill Hooper, Iron Priest,
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Izzy, Jaffo, Jakyl, Kaptain Kilobyte, Kilroy, King Arthur, KPND, Lasher,
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Malachi, Miyamoto, Mogel, Mohawk Dave, m0m, Mr. Q, Pride, Psychosomatic
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Illusion, Queen of Chance, Random, Ratt Fink, Ronin Darkheart, Rory, Seth
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the Woman, Sir Flea, Siva, Shadowhawk, Snotty, S00per Sperm, Squig, Stein,
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Swedish Shef (Spanky McDougal, Sir!), The Lizard King, TransDerm-Nitro,
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Trojan-Man, Unik, Wizard of Id, Zach D., Zen, Zippy"
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I only recognize half of these.
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Acid Warlock ran Purple Hell, the closest thing I ever had to a warez account.
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I remember Ailanthus as being gentle. A lost soul on the highway of life.
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Aracnia was Diamondback's psycho girlfriend. She could put her feet behind her
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head. That's the only thing I remember.
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Zelia Winter was some chick who did a lot of drugs over at Zippy's house. To
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this day, I don't know if she was turning up her nose at me.
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Captain Harlock is still alive and kicking at Legion West
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(http://www.ttu.edu/legionwest/).
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Diamondback is Matt, bouncing back and forth between Lubbock and Phoenix like a
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billard ball looking for a pocket.
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fastjack is Angry Mike the Tank Killer. "Get drunk, join the army, kill a
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Commie for Jesus, YEE HAW!" Angry Mike isn't so angry anymore. He's got a job
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and a girlfriend, and a future waiting for him somewhere in Dallas. One of the
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sharpest wits I have ever encountered. I'm pretty quick, but this guy was
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*amazing*. Army life and a steady girlfriend have taken the edge off his humor,
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but he's still got that gleam in his eye...
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Franken Gibe is old school cDc. A local legend who ran a BBS called "The
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/<ingdom of Shit" (see http://www.greeny.org/kos/). Just a crappy little WWIV
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board with the most fucked up sub names you ever saw. I got an account there in
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'89, after all the interesting stuff was over. ["I beg to differ. Trojan-Man
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would probably agree that the "interesting stuff" was over by '89. The BBS
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lived until '95, you know." - Lobo Licious]
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Hallucination is John. I never said five words to the guy, but he always had a
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smile on his face, and he laughed at all my jokes, even the ones nobody else
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got.
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I only met Izzy once. Quiet guy. Long hair. Glasses. A kind, gentle soul who
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was/is a graphics god.
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Genaerik. I remember Genaerik is Napalm is Aerik Aeriksson. There was always
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something lost about him, a kind of disconnected fear that made you look over
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your shoulder whenever he was around. He was a nice guy, but he always seemed -
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haunted.
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Jaffo - some poser who thinks he's Old Skool.
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Kaptain Kilobyte - Christ, is the Kaptain still alive? He was PRE-Old Skool.
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The name of his board escapes me [It was called "The Kaptain's Korner." - Ed.],
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but the Kaptain was the grand old man of the Lubbock BBS scene. The day he took
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his board down was the day the music died.
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KPND - I never can remember who was who. I think this was an alias for Swamp
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Ratte' [Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. - Ed.], but I'm probably wrong.
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Lasher - Of all the 2nd generation, I would vote Lasher as "most likely to be
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hunted by the FBI."
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Lobo - Randolph Carter, p/k/a Lobo Licious. You know the guy who was class
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president? The guy you hated? Randolph was *Vice* President, the guy who did
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all the work while the Pres got all the chicks. In 10 years, Randolph is gonna
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own some company somewhere and be on the cover of Forbes. You heard it here
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first. ["Hey Jaffo, let's make that 15 years." - LL]
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m0m - I believe this refers to Diamondback's mom - a happy, personable woman who
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remains *disturbingly* sexy, well into her 40's.
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Neurochick - NC was a geekgurl before geekgurls were cool. And, if you believe
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the gossip, just as sexy in real life as she was online...[If anyone has the
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Neurochick .gif or .jpg or whatever, send it to GwD@GREENY.org, and it will be
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added to the GwD and Family Photo Album, even though she most likely doesn't
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even know that we exist. - Ed.]
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Psychosomatic Illusion - Another cornerstone of BBS culture, Psycho ran a
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prominent BBS [Psycho's Chiropractic Institute (PCI)], long after the old ones
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died.
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Ratt Fink - Lobo's brother. He offered me pot once.
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Seth the Man - the indomitable Seth. One of the few BBS people I still keep in
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touch with.
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TransDerm-Nitro - Another name I recognize as Old Skool, although I don't think
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we've met.
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Trojan-Man - A provocative handle for a provocative man. This was the handle
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used by Tro-Jason. One of the most interesting people I've ever met. He came
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down for a visit last month and dragged my happy ass to a strip club.
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Zach D. - Whatever happened to Zach? He had a web page for a while and just
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vanished. We need some kind of milk carton program for lost Hackers.
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Zen - My friend Mike, a gentle giant with a hot girlfriend. Zen and Tonya
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helped me through a rough patch last year...
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Zippy - The redoubtable Zippy. He and I hated each other's guts for a period
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in 1992 (or something.) At one point, we were friends. He had Sysop access on
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my old BBS ("Chiseled Spam"). During our feud, he dropped to DOS and did a
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deltree on my WWiV directory. I flew into a rage and had it back up running
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Renegade, six hours later. Zippy and I reconciled later that year. I forgave
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him for nuking my BBS, but I will *never* forgive him for making me eat Thai
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food. Jesus, they used so much curry powder, my intestines bled for a week.
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If you know any of these people, if you *are* any of these people, please drop
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me a line.
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Jaffo, 10/15/99
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----- ----- ----- ----- -----
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-+- Lobo Licious's Response -+-
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Jaffo's original version of this text (that doesn't seem to exist anywhere
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anymore) named some other people. Here are my $.02 about them (I just responded
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to those that he specifically asked about):
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let me set you straight on some of the people in the "thank you's," though...
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i'll answer a few of your questions about people and fill in the holes a bit, if
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you don't mind... word.
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Bill Hooper is not a Windmill guy. [Jaffo had thought that Bill was part of the
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largest pay BBS in 806 from back in the day]. Bill Hooper is (Seth and I and
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others') friend from High School. He's better than you.
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Black Francis isn't local. [Apparently, Jaffo had asserted that BF was local.]
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He's from Philadelphia. He ran a BBS with an 800 # (which is how I was able to
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call) called "Goat Blower's Anonymous." He's a co-founder of "doomed to
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obscurity" (http://www.dto.net/).
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Bob the Master of the World is formerly known as Leif After Deth and Buttworm.
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Brazen is Zippy's friend in Maryland(?). He ran the first GwD Distro. Site
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outside of 806, and he probably didn't even know it.
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Iron Priest is now just Priest. He wrote gwd75.txt, the most disturbing text-
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file since "Bunny Lust."
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KPND is short for KP Neato Dee.
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Mohawk Dave is not JMG. Do you remember when his BBS was "Canis Mortis,"
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waaaaaay back before it was called "Trend"?) Anyway, MD is still truckin'. He
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never ran a BBS (to my knowledge).
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m0m does indeed refer to DB's mom.
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Queen of Chance was Mohawk Dave's girlfriend (still is, as far as I know). She
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was quite witty, quite intelligent, an awesome bass player (so I hear), and
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quite attractive.
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Sir Flea - Seth and I went to high school with him. He writes for GwD, from
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time to time (his best work, IMO, is "Commentary On Just a Bunch of Stuff I
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Thought About When I Was Stoned and Bored," gwd61.txt).
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TransDerm-Nitro ran a BBS for years and years called GridPoint. He's way old
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school. He was a drummer in several Lubbock bands, the most notable of which is
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"Sekrut Squirrel," a punk band that included Franken Gibe (vocals), Mohawk Dave
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(guitar), and Swamp Ratte (backing vocals, guitar -live, only), and Iceman
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(after TdN moved to Oklahoma).
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That's probably about it, as far as "regular" bbsers are concerned. Most of the
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other people in that list are people from Jr. High/High School that Seth and/or
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I somehow roped into calling a few BBSes...usually just Seth's BBS, actually.
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/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
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--- The GwD High Council ---
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Top Worshipper Type of Guy - Lobo Licious
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Top Dog Type of Guy - Seth The Man
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Top Organizer Type of Guy - Ratt Fink
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Worshipper Type of Guy - Diamondback
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Dog Type of Guy - TransDerm-Nitro
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Advisor/Corsair - Yancey Slide
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\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
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/-----------------------***** GwD Propagandists *****--------------------------\
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| Lobo Licious - Seth The Man - The Lizard King - Yancey Slide - Sir Flea |
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| Zippy - Aracnia - Zen - Trojan-Man - fastjack - Diamondback - Bill Hooper |
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| Lasher - Mogel - Izzy - Bob the Master of the World - K2 - Carson - Rainne |
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| Trailer Park Queen - The Mad Screamer - Priest - Snotty - Purpldrgn |
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| Pezzy - Otis - Franken Gibe - Kilroy - Kp Neato Dee - Jaffo |
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\------------------------------------------------------------------------------/
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- Vehicular Manslaughter on the Information Super Highway -
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*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*
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for Car-Jacking: GwDweb - http://www.GREENY.org/
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for Drive By Shootings: GwD Pubz, beatch! - http://gwd.mit.edu/
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ftp://ftp.GREENY.org/gwd/
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for Driving Under the Influence: C.H.A.O.S. - http://chaos.GREENY.org/
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Da Den - http://www.snakeden.org/
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for Hit and Run: GwD@GREENY.org (Fan/Hate Mail)
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subscribe@GREENY.org (FREE CRAP)
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submit@GREENY.org (Submit now!)
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editor@GREENY.org (Letters to Editor/Pimp LL)
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%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%
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(-) (-) Postal (-) (-)
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GwD, Inc.
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P.O. Box 16038
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Lubbock, Texas 79490
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(-) (-) latsoP (-) (-)
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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"I would not hesitate to bury an axe in the child's head, if it attacked me."
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- stuN reeB
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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<-+- A S M D -+->
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GR33NY LIK3S mash3d p0tat03s
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MORE THAN FIVE YEARS of ABSOLUTE CRAP! /---------------\
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copyright (c) MCMXCIX Jaffo :SHIT YOUR PANTS:
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textfile copyright (c) MM GwD Publications/GwD, Inc. : GwD :
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All rights reserved \---------------/
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GwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwD90
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