42 lines
2.7 KiB
Plaintext
42 lines
2.7 KiB
Plaintext
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ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #532
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`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
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888 888 888 888 888 "SVP Aidez Nous!"
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888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
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888 888 888 888 888 " by AnonGirl
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888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 3/27/99
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o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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"Allo. My name is Sylvie Bilodeau. I'm standing on the corner of
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what used to be Saint Lawrence and Saint Catherine boulevards. I'm here
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today to inform you that a terrible tragedy has been going on, and how you
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can help. Men, women and children are starving, in a land that was once of
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great prosperity. The thirty-story buildings you see to the right of me
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have long since been abandoned, and are being run by terrorists. Children
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have died in these buildings. Women have been raped in these buildings, as
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well as their bastard children. The water has become tainted, causing
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innocent Anglophones to involuntarily speak and think in French.
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Francophone newborns have been poisoned, their mothers and fathers beaten
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and left for dead. Throughout the streets, on large speakers atop
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streetlights, are endless Celine Dion tracks being played. Gangs have
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taken over homes. The idea of school is a long forgotten hope for the
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youth. Hospitals are a thing of the past. So I'm standing here today to
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ask for the help of you, the public. For just $1.01 per day, you can
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provide a nutritious meal, education, and a Celine Dion tape to one of
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these poor, hungry children. Just think, one of these innocent children
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would be given a hot, steaming bowl of poutine, provided by you and the
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generous folks at La Belle Province, as well as a can of Pepsi and a Mae
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West cake for dessert. You will also be contributing towards the
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education needed for these young children. They would be taught the basic
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essentials of math, French grammar, and slang French, by the great Dr. Paul
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Rose. And of course, the Celine Dion tape, a compilation titled 'Aimez Moi
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ou Mourrir', will be given to each child that receives a sponsor like you.
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We are begging you, here at L'Association des enfants de la république du
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Kébék, to give generously, and help yet another child grow up and live an
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adequate childhood. Please, help us rebuild the country that was once
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Quebec, because one more lost child is one too many. Merci."
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #532 - WRITTEN BY: ANONGIRL - 3/27/99 ]
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