169 lines
7.2 KiB
Plaintext
169 lines
7.2 KiB
Plaintext
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ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ-ùúù-ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿
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³ ÜÜÜÜ ³
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³ ÞÝ ßÜ Ý ³
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³ ÞÝ ÞÝ Þ ³
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³ ÞÝ Üß Þ ³
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| ÞÝ ÜßÜß Ü ÜßßßÜ Û |
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: ÞÝ Ý Ý Ý Û ßÝ :
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ù ÞÝÞ Þ Ý Û Ý ù
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ú ÝÝ Ý Ý Ý Ý ú
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Þ ßÜÜÜÜÝ ÞÜÜÜÜßÜ
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ß
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ISSuE 10, VOLuME 1
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- Kingdom, Phylum, Class -
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- Order, Family -
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- Genus, & Species -
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[PUD_1_10.TXT]
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ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ-ùúù-ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
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> EDiTED BY NO COURiER ú WWiVNET 2506@36 <
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ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ-ùúù-ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
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D¡SCL’¡MäR
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ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
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The opinions, views, ideals, and tasty canned soup recipes expressed in this
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T/FiLE are expressed without intention of execution. The authors, editors, and
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contributers to this file, as well as all of the K-RAD/[PuD], áçá, PGA, and œrš
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members, assume absolutely ¯N0® liability for you personal stupidity.
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Thank you.
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ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
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þ GR@@TS
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Ahh, back again so soon? Go away. I am sick of you bastards reading my
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brilliant literary works without response. Go find a life outside of
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Queensryche and Pink Floyd. Damn, you suck.
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***QUOTE OF LINE #38: `I ran all the way home...'
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úù|³ PuD v1#10 FEaTuRES - OuR FiRST BiDIGITaL ISSuE NuMBER! ³|ùú
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þ The áçá SWaSS/BoMB > Relic, but it may inform the ignorant. by ONiON WŠ‚D
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þ MY TOeS AND THE PuRPOSES THEY SeRVE by NO COURiER
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þ BATHiNG WiTH YOuR FAVORiTE RADiO > Steps to caressing the radio you love.
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þ BANjO PLAYiN' & B00GeR EATiN' by a typical Alabama VBBS SysOp
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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ON WiTH THE SHoW!
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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EDiTOR'S NoTE:
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The succeeding article is pretty dated. Bear with us. You should be able to
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infer the approximate date at which it was written. This is it's first release,
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although I am sure the idea has been known to many. Hell, it's old and lame to
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even us now. This file has been summarized and condensed to conserve space.
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Oh well. Enjoy.
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- NO COURiER
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þ - The Quick n' Easy BTB Car Bomb -
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At some point in our lives (like maybe yesterday) we have all thought about
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such morbid things as "Am I smart enough to kill somebody and get away with it?"
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Of course, I don't condone murder or anything unlawful, and although I have
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similar thoughts, don't let yourself loose control and actually follow through
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with some crazy idea...
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A prime example of one of these "thoughts" is the following. Lately, I have
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really started getting restless, with all of this political smack going on
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(family values... does that mean that there is a sale down at the Family Mart?)
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I myself will vote for Perot. I hope you do the same... anarchy has always
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been a hope of mine, and that would be the closest we could come without
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electing Jimmy Carter again...
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Anyway, on with the plans for the bomb...
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- NO COURiER
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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WHAT YOU NEED TO DO:
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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> Materials:
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Nothing! That's what makes this car bomb so unique!
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Our pals in Detroit were kind enough to design cars with the necessary
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components easily accessible with a kick!
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> What you do:
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1) Approach the car of your unlucky victim.
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Besure to pimp out and walk with the most idiotic-looking style that you can.
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Note that the car should not be running, and the driver should not be in the
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car. (duh...) Try to be as inconspicuous as possible.
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2) Kick in one of the rear brake lights.
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You should be wearing stylish, functional footwear (such as steel-toed combat
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boots with spikes) so that this will be no major task. If you have no sense of
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style, or if you are ill-prepared for phun, then use a rock or something. A
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freshly-killed cat's skull works nicely. (Just kidding... or am I?)
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3) Rape the brakelight housing of it's sole possession: the brakelight.
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You may need to do some more kicking, or a little unscrewing, but it should be
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no problem. Go ahead and pull out the whole thing (the casing and all), and
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yank out as much of the wiring as possible, without breaking the circuit.
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4) Take the brakelight and break the glass bulb.
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Be sure to leave the filament intact.
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5) Now, shove it in the gas tank.
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Shove it in there as far as you can get it to go. As I have already stressed,
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make sure that neither the filament nor circuit has been broken.
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Done!
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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WHAT WILL HAPPEN:
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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The brakelight mechanism will short out and generate a spark when either the
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lights turn on, or the brakes are activated. Since there is plenty of air
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flowing through (the wires will keep the tank open.), it will ignite and
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explode. Chances are this will kill the driver, and chances are that he will
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have plenty of time to think about what happened before he croaks (two or three
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seconds is a lot of time...).
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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þ MY T0ES AND THe PURPoSES THeY SERVe by NO COURiER
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One... two... three... forty-seven. Yes. I for one, do, quite dilligently,
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count my toes every morning as soon as I wake up. `Why,' you may ask? I have a
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slight problem. The dreaded toe numerical dyslexia double-yer-digits syndrome.
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I have forty-seven toes, and enough toenails to be used as a human abacus.
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That's right. My toenails move at will. Your will as well as mine. My
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toenails are the pride of all eternity, the cream of the crop, my magical leafy
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phalanges bring joy to all of our seven continents. Like the birds of a
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feather, I am shot down by a man named Earl.
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þ BaTHiNG WiTH YOUR FAVORiTE RADi0
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I love my radio. It is a Tandy/Realistic 7 watt Supershocker AM unit, which
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plugs in to the wall and rests joyfully on the rim of my bathtub. It is a nice
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friend to have.
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þ BaNJ0 PLaYiN' & B00GeR EATiN'
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I wish I was in Dixie
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Hooray, hooray.
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I wish I was in Dixie, molesting my stepdaughter in Dixie.
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Hooray. Hooray.
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I wish I was in Dixie.
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> END PuD 1:10 - DAMN, THaT ONE SuCKED, DiDN'T IT??? <
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þ WRiTE US, AND SEND iN YOUR LAMeST!
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Senior Editors:
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NO COURiER WWiVNet 2506@36
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Baphomet the Limbo King WWiVNet 2506@14
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Support via/BBS:
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PROJeCT/X w/SysOp Digital Saint
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(12/144)Bpsù100
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1-205-883-0894
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> ...you put your right leg in... <
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<*** End of FUCKiN File ***>
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