195 lines
11 KiB
Plaintext
195 lines
11 KiB
Plaintext
ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿
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³PuDPuDPuDPuDPuDPuDPuDPuD³³ PUD: Pizza Underground Digest (c)1993 Oooga Inc. ³
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³PuDP²ÛÛÛDPÛDPÛDPÛÛ²uDPuD³ÃÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ´
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³PuDP²DP²DP²DP²DPÛDP²DPuD³³ PUD Number 1, Volume 02, Chapter 27, Epic 01 ³
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³PuDP±±²²DP±DP²DP²DP±DPuD³³ Release on the Date: Mar 25, 1993 ³
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³PuDP±DPuDP±DP±DP²DP°DPuD³³ Line contained in the issue: 192 ³
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³PuDP°DPuDP°°°±DP±±°uDPuD³³ PUD Serving the modem public since Late Feb. '93 ³
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³PuDPuDPuDPuDPuDPuDPuDPuD³³ For Help and Info look elsewhere. ³
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ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ
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"Long Distance RunAround, Long time waiting to kill the lamers..."
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-Flesh Groing
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þ Mail
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I will wait till later to include any gr00vy-waRe-hAppY mail.
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þ Welcome.
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Yes welcome back to the greatest publication to ever grace your little
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attempt at a computer screen. PUD, is now and will always be the choice
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for the difinitive LaMeR. A place to voice your views, get cracked on and
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laughs at stupid asinine indside jokes. Already refered to as a CULT the
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member and general readership of PUD need to unite. Why? To destroy all
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who oppose us! For what greater goal? None. Just to do it. Why? Because
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NIKE said so, damn you.I have to say a great thanks to NO COURiER for
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PUD:1:14. It was well, funny as hell. I cried when I read that inside
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joke super riddled one-sided thing. It was just fucking phunny[LS]. Well
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now on with the digest of crap.
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þ Things that piss me off.
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I shall now list for you a few things that piss me off greatly.
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VBBS: It just fucking sucks. I can not believe how many people think
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that is is worth a shit. It is slow, written in quickbasic and
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just plain pathetic. ! and $ From the main menu? Yes it sucks.
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Ugly Children: I mean what can you say? They are UGLY. You can't tell
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thier parents, you can't crack on them. You can't just gun them
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down in broad day light. You just have to suffer when you are in
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the same room as them.
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Corners: Hurt like a bastard when you fall on them...
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Windows 3.1: What can I say. It is pretty. But other than it reaks!
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damn I have an OK computer and it still is slow and slugish
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no matter how much you play with it.
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.PIF editor: Well you would think Mickeysoft would make it easy for
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you to edit your DOS program .PIF's but NNNOOOOOoooooo. They
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have to have this stupid lame-ass pif editor. Maybe the will
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take a hint and Copy OS/2.
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Smug Salespeople: Who think they are fucking great for working a shit
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job. Ooh I am assistant clothes folder at <insert half-way nice
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store> and I am so great. Yhea you'll be great when I piss on
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your dead body.
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Lousy Speakers: Like at fast food places. You'd think the dumb fucker
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behind the counter would get tired of, "free fbuergers
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ketcvaup onlie?". But oh at Taco Bell I dare you to try and
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order 3 BEAN burritos, you'll get beef every damn time, then
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you have to explain to Juikola the dumb-ass bitch running
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the register that you wanted BEAN not god-damn fucking BEEF!
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WaReZ doodz: How much more of a one-dimensional loser can thier be?
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Well the only one close is the VBBS sysop. These great burdens
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on the modem society serve no other purpose than to get the
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hottest shit and then sit on it, unless you have something
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they want in exchange.
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QVC: ...what can you say? What kind of sad-reject of life do you have
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to be to watch this channel? Do warez d00dz wacth this channel?
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What's sad is the list of people I can name off who do...
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Fouls: Ever played basketball with a bunch of white people who think
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they are great? You barely touch them and they whine foul. Big
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bunch of sissies. I hate them. I hate everything about them.
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They suck. Bad. Really. And just think I'm white, I guess that
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makes me a racist, oh well, everyone is they are just afraid to
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admit it.
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Weekends: They aren't long enough.
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PGA: It eventually runs out.
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MTV: For thinking they are saving the whole world. They aren't. In fact
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they are already corrupting the most ruined generation know to
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man to an even worse state. Gee that's too bad...
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Girls: Not women but girls. You know the kind that have boyfriends but
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still have to keep up that flirting just in case this current
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guy doesn't work out. Could a guy do this?
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þ Star Trek.
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***WARNING!***: All Star Trek freaks please stop reading now!
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If you keep reading you may get offended. If offended we here at
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oooga inc. will be in no way responsible for the following things,
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lost toes, brain cells, WaReZ, left toenails, right toenails,
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various bodily entrails, any part of the cardiovascular system,
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damage to the face, hands, ear, throat or close family, nor dead
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car battery's, altenators, flat tires on snowy days, broken hearts,
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marriages, friendships, sad VBBS boards, pathetic top40 music,
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MTV, QVC, various child molestings, the occasional son-mother
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affair, the general public, the president, his wife, his ugly-ass
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daughter, that stupid fucking little rat of a cat they have, the
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end of the world, the second coming, defcon4 the awaking, any
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encounter with dead, long forgotten SSI agents, spasms, spam, green
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eggs and ham, rice patties, acid, ice, mace, or any other, "wish
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I had a real copy of the draw, because society has shunned me,"
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ANSi[ls] phreaks. Also oooga discounts any claims to illegitimate
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children, stolen phone signs, booths and other assorted phone
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parefanalia, spelling correctly, caring, conforming, crippled
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shareware, stupid programs you have to install from floppy, dirty
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socks, dead llamii, stolen toaster, toaster ovens, toaster pans,
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toaster pockets, toaster microwaves, toaster cars, toaster planes,
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toaster sex, and lastly god. Now on with the earth shattering
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comment.
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Star Trek sucks.
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þ Plageristic Visions of Goat Masturbation.
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x x
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x Üßx Ü xx Ü Ü x
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x x xÝxßÝ x Ý x x x x Ýx
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x x x Û xÝx x x Ýx x
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xLax xÝxß x PuD xßxx Ý xxÝ
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Fxxe x Ýßx xÝx xxÝ ÝßxxÝ Written xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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#xx7 x Ý xix Ýoxg ÜxÝxÝnd Ýx xairy ^By fReD.
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x x x Ý Ýx Ý x Þx x x Ýx
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x x x xÝÜß x ÝÜÜÝ ßÜÜßÞ xÝ ÞÜx
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x x
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x x Presents
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Ú xx*COWS* ÄÄ ¿
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"Cxxcken.. <and Stove Top?>"
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³ x x by ³
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x x xhxsxmxn<By fReD
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À ÄÄ Ù
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I bet something you don't see everyday is someone who can name
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every different type of *COW*. Surprisingly, I can... I don't know
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if this would prompt me to be proud of myself or *BE PRESIDENT*. I
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really haven't decided yet. Actually, knowing every breed of *COW* has
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a lot of distinct advantages that few of you realize or even care about.
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First of all, it's a good way to meet women <or men as the case may be>.
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Quick example:
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You're standing in line at the butcher after a hard days
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work, and you realize the person in front of you has made
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the wrong selection of *COW* and could be getting a better
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value. After you overcome the anger that by now has
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boiled up in your blood over how society has shunned you and
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forced you to learn everything there is to know about
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*COW*, you courageously step in and help that person
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choose the *MAMMAL* that is right for them. Your eyes meet and
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you realize this is the person of your dreams... Isn't that
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how Alice and Sam met on the "Brady Bunch?"
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By now everyone on the store is impressed with your knowledge, and here comes
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another big plus.. People are asking you to customly select the *COW* that is
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right for them. What better way to meet people than choose their *COW*
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for them? Wow, now the biggie... You can make money! Yes, money and
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no college degree or experience is required. Just visit that old circus when
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it comes to town, and tell the ringmaster you can communicate with *COWS*.
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They'll immediately get your own little cage, a funny hat, and a little cup
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to hold out for people to put money into. All you've gotta do is
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alphabetically list the types of *COWS*, (Example: "Ancona, Andalusian,
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Australorp, umm yes, Bantam, etc.") and occasionally throw in a seizure or
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two. That's right, people will pay to see that! Now I hope you realize the
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human mind IS a terrible thing to waste with all the opportunity out there...
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PuD AVAILABLE IN 3379.234 COUNTRIES. <SORRY CANADA!>
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Ok...ok..enough of that...All I have to say is thanks to BLaH for coming
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back and writing some more funny-asss shit. So of course to thank them, I
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stole from them after all one theft a day makes you a mack-daddY-k_rAD,
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hippty-h0p, fojustisu, toshiba, MACIDAMIA, hyro-gushmi wArEz D00d. Ok so
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I made the d00d part up sue me.
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þ Mail. Send mail you god-damn lamer leech freaks.
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Send mail to:
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FRed the Hitman: Any board with that k-RaD NUV!!!!
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The Ostrich King: Any c00l, elite 0 day ware only board.
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Baphomet the Limbo King: 14@2506 WWIVNet.
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BrAvE lITtLe ToAsTeR: Home warez department, JCPENNY's.
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NO COURiER 36@2506 WWIVNet.
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SaTan'S mUtT (205)-880-9566 ask for steve cuss him
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out he will really, really enjoy it, BTW
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tell him PuD sent you. Or better yet call
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his vision-x .82 2400 baud, 2 meg HD
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board at (205)-650-0302. Hack away.
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ÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜßßßßßßßßßßßßßÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜ
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ÜÛßßßßßßßßßßß Ending Qoute ßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßÜÜÜÜÜ
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ÞÝ "And the man said unto the child, You shall perish for thy sins that Û
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Û you have committed. To which the young child replied, Fuck off... ÞÝ
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ÞÝ Hence the man beat the shit out of the child. Head the call." ÜÜß
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ÛÛÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜ CONFORM! ÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜßßßßßßßß
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ßßßßßßßßßßßß
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