356 lines
17 KiB
Plaintext
356 lines
17 KiB
Plaintext
°±²ÛßßßßßßßßÛßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßÛßßßßßßßßÛ²±°
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°±²Û ¿¿¿Â¿ Û Pizza Underground Digest Volume 3 Issue 01 Epic 17 Û Â¿¿¿Â¿ Û²±°
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°±²Û ³Ù³³³³ Û Serving the modem folks for a very really long time. Û ³Ù³³³³ Û²±°
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°±²Û Ù ÀÙÁÙ Û This issue composed mainly by: Baphomet the *.* Û Ù ÀÙÁÙ Û²±°
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°±²ÛÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÛÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÛÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÛ²±°
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ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
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"...to catch my breath, before I start off again..."
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-Rush[1]
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þ Back? Again?
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Damn it. Just when you thought it was safe to read K_RaD TFiLES look
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who is back! Those two real swell guys and thier companions. PuD is
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back and stronger than ever! All PuDs are now distrubted in two, yes
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that is 1+1, formats. Two? The first is the standard .TXT file, just
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done for the hell of it, and the second is an archive. Well what the
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hell is in the archive? Well a hypertext version of the issue, the
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usual text version and maybe some other utilities, files or just
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whatever in the hell we feel like adding.
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þ Mail!
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Of course I recieve a few pieces of mail a day, but most of it, ok
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all of it is non-PuD related. But hey some of my general mail,
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surely must apply to the overall atmosphere of PUD. And what do you
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know here is a message from a really bright, insightfull, WWiVnet
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particpant.
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ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿
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Tandyman #240 @4057 [TEST] ³
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Wed Apr 14 13:30:03 1993 ³
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³
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REGARDING: REALITY=COMPUTER VIRI? ³
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POSTED BY: Baphomet The Limbo King #14 @2506 ³
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³
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you're such an asshole. ³
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ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ
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Now of course I have to tell you what the orignal message was about.
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My message simply that this damn LaMeR couldn't tell the difference
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between computers and reality, muchless real computers. Hence the
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name TandyMan. "YES! Tandy's are IBM Compatible."[2]
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LATE BREAKING ADDITION! Added really recently to this issue.
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ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
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Dear Sirs:
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It has recently been brought to my attention that in a recent edition
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of your publication, you used mail sent by me without my prior consent.
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To whit, the offending material is as follows:
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<---------------------------------------------------------------------------->
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Û²±°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°±²Û
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Û±° °±Û
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Û° PUD: Snow Fun Edited By: Baphomet the Limbo King Mar. 13, 1993 °Û
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Û±° °±Û
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Û²±°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°±²Û
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ßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßß
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ÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜ
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þ Mail
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ßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßß
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Hymie #86 @2506
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Sun Feb 28 16:15:02 1993
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RE: Multi-Mail
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A Petition to Petition to The Members of the Boards of Directors of
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Every Major TV Network, Film, Music and Record Company.
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For those of you who didn't, look at the back page of the Comics in
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þ [CUT FOR BREVITY] þ
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Try to refrain from using letter bombs. It's a Federal offense. Happy
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extremist bashing to all!!!
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<with goofy grin>
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---Hymie
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=)
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I included this merely because of the last phrase. I had no idea letter
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bombs were illegal. I guess I will have to buy that plain ticket sooner
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than I though. Ooops.
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There was some more mail, but I lost it. To fucking bad. Wah.
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<---------------------------------------------------------------------------->
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I have consulted with my attorney on the matter and it appears that
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the unpermitted inclusion of my mail in your recent publication violates a
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breech of trust, specifically, in federal code 1978 478.23, section c,
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pararaph 173 clearly states: "No publication deriving their name from an
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Italian cuisie may willingly and knowingly include in said publication any
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corespondance from any readers of aforementioned publication without their
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express written consent."
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Because you did not have my express written consent to include this
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letter in your publication, you are in clear violation of said federal code.
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My lawyers have advised me that I would be more likely to win a class action
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suit. In light of this, I have found a person who wishes to join me in a
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class action suit. The Jamaican Bobsledder, commonly known as Satan's Mutt,
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has agreed to join me, citing mental and physical duress. Apparently, your
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publication published both his address and phone number without his consent,
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thus violating said code and the 1979 Federal Privacy Information Act. Also,
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he claims to have suffered mental duress because of several claims of fact
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that you made. If your organization had published:
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"IN MY OPINION, Satan's Mutt is a LaMeR from hell who doesn't know
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his ass from his girlfriends mouth; a LaMeR who is the epitomy of
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lameness; a LaMeR who thinks that VBBS is the smoothest thing this
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side of LamdaMOO; a LaMeR who, IN MY OPINION would love for you
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to call him at
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(205)880-9566
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and, who IN MY OPINION would *love* to have thirty anchovie pizzas
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delivered to his address, which, IN MY OPINION is:
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Steve Brady
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2503 Glen Echo Circle
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Huntsville, AL 35803-1539
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And, also, IN MY OPINION, his biggest "comeback" to anything I have
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ever posted about him is: 'You suck big donkey dicks.' "
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that would have been perfectly acceptable under current federal and state
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laws, but, as it is, you did not, and therefore, it is not.
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We have contacted your legal department, and we are more than willing
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to settle out of court. However, the offer of sexual favors from Talking
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Girl is NOT acceptable. We have learned from some guy named Paul that she
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CAN NOT put her legs behind her head, she is merely taking lessons
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(although she apparently comes close.) We regret that the offer of sexual
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favors is unacceptable. However, Satan's Mutt is more than willing to
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settle with four (4) hours of use of one of one of NO COURiER's llami.
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I regret that the matter has had to proceed this far. I am certain
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that relationships between your organization, myself, and Satan's Mutt will
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improve greatly in the future. The subpoena was unfortunate, I must admit,
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and I apologize for having your swass computer system impounded as evidence.
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You will find attached a list of claims and amounts we are suing for.
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With Sincere Goofy Grin,
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Hymie
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=)
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/attachment
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/enclosure
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<---------------------------attachment--------------------------------------->
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Punitive Damages: $13.26
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Compensatory Damages: (1) Enough money for me and dig to get to and
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complete the pleasure domes in Total Carnage,
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which, incidentally is so swass it is beyond
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mere mortal comprehension,
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(2) Satan's Mutt free use of one (1) of
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NO COURiER's llami for four (4) hours,
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(3) Your word that you shall never, ever again
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publish Satan's Mutt real name, number, or
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address, which, incidentally, happens to be:
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Steve Brady
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2503 Glen Echo Circle
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Huntsville, AL 35803-1539
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(205)-880-9566
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and lastly,
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(4) Services rendered, cause I've always wanted
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to hear Wapner say to the plaintiff, who just
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happens to be a hooker, "I award you money
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for services rendered."
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With Sincere Goofy Grin,
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Hymie
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=)
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ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
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þ Hypertext? Why?
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Why? Do we want to push hypertext on you great pudidians so hard?! One
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simple reason Hypertext is better. MUCH, much better. Imagine having
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all info on the inside jokes, extra fun and just more enjoyment! No
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no not by reading something else but instead by reading a hypertext
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version of PUD. Well what the hell do I need to enjoy this incredible
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enhancement of the already perfect PuD? You need a hypertext reader.
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Like HYPE. It can be found on most large PD boards under the name
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HYPE*.ZIP or ARJ or HAP or LHA or Ha or ZOO or... Just get one. It
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will open a whole new world in k_rAd TfIlEs t0 yA d00d! Simply look
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for pud_3_*.arj for the hypertext version of this issue. It is worth
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it.
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þ Rusty And EDDie's.
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[Subtitled: A day in the life of FrEd tHe HiTmaN]
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[Transcribed to almost readable form by Baphomet]
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As we all know Rusty and EDDie's got busted for having commercial h0t
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waRez on thier b0ard but FeW pe0ple know the truE stOry behInd whAt
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rEally Happened. S0 to clarify I fReD wiLl tEll You The ReAl Tale...
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It aLl StartEd WheN I wAs Refused elite AccEss on ThieR b0ard. I kept
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My c00l for As long As I CouLd but TheRe wAs only So MucH I couLd tAke.
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BeLow Are SomE actuaL traNscripTs of MessaGes I seNT therE.
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To : Rusty
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Subject : AcCess?!
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dU0d? H0w comE I stilL dOn't haVe AccEss to The EliTe StufF? WhAt sHould
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I d0 to Get AccEss? dU0D?!
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To : Rusty
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Subject : DU0D?!
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Ok Lo0k LaMeR I uploAded K_rAd FileZ LikE youz SaId! I thiNk Ms. PaCman
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and that PcLEmmINGs weRe PreTTy NeW!! SO How Come NNoe Elite AcCEss?!?
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H0w Do I get To thE pictUres Of LittLe GirlS?
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To : Rusty
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Subject : MaD.
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DU0D yOU aRe aboUt to PiSs Me OfF. I HavE uPloadEd somE reAlly Good Shit
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bUt I stIll Can'T Get No FuckIng GIFS or No DaMn WaRez. Du0d yOU don'T
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waNt to PisS Me off!
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To : Rusty
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Subject : LasT StRaw.
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du0d You Have POushEd me WaY to Far!! How DarE yOu Call Me MoTheR a FaT
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sLoverLignly WhoRe, wAit till I get a DFucKin DicTionare YoU DiCk. GiVe
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me AccEss Or Else du0D. I AiN't Playin No FuCkin MorE...
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To : Rusty
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Subject : FUCK Y0U!!@#$
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ThAT Was It Du0D YoU PissED Me ofF! YoUr GoNNa FucKin PaY NoW!
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DamN LaMeR...
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And as yoU KnoW the ReSt is HisTory. I g0T thE fAgs BustEd thEy wErE
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sOme SaD-Ass LaMeR's In ThE FirSt DaMn PlaCe.
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þ Selfishness.
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This was a post on Project-X, a damn fine place, that sparked a small
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series of messages. That has now degraded into a discussion of optimism
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versus pessimism. If free-thought, open-minds and a pretty good user
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base makes you all kind of happy then call of Project-X. Email me or
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NO COURiER there.
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Why you should be selfish sometimes.
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WHAT?!?! Yes everyone should be selfish sometime. Why?
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Why you ask? Because living your life only for other people is
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not living. Being nice is one thing, but when your whole life
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is merely helping others when you really need to help yourself
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is just completely alien to me. Doing for yourself makes
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you a better person to the one that matters the most,
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yourself. If you can't like or love yourself then how can you
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expect any one else to? Trust yourself. Have faith in
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yourself, be yourself. Notice the word YOUR. As in you.
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Yourself. Y O U. Be selfish somtime it will really help you.
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BaPhOmEt
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"WaNNa-Be-VbBs-SIGH-Sop"
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þ Where you are.
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Is where you are at. Intresting concept really, isn't it. What is even
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more interesting is that some of you are still reading this trash. Crap
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like this section should not be read so stop now before it is too late.
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No really stop now. Stop now. Now gomer. See Jane. Off the stars and the
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sky is the blue of the earth amd the grecain forumla number moon light
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divine, why the fuck are you still reading, tis better to hog the tree
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than to err is mundain but unlike domestication you should quit reading
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if the sky wasn't pale then it would be underlined with authority, damn
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you are really sad for reading this, lolli-pops haze cross the blaze.
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þ To kill a LaMeR.
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[A Short-Story by G-Bunny.]
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Of course the day was nice. All days are nice in stories. The sun shone,
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the clouds were far and few between and the warmth of the earth warmed
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my entire body. Quickly preening myself I saw across the field a chance
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at a little breakfast before I started the day. Hopping over, in a rather
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jovial mood I might add, I saw the strangest looking creature. Not paying
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it any attention I went about my business and began to eat, then it got
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me. Out of no where this cheap-looking fabric net flew through time and
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space and landed about me. I was trapped. I didn't panic. This ugly two
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legged beast approached me, scooped me up and threw me in a bag. I almost
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knew I was in trouble. Finishing the bite of food in my mouth, I decided
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this was surely what gravy meant when he refered to lamers.
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Plop. My big-ass hit the bars of the cage the beast dropped me in. Nice
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cage rather large, I could only touch all four-sides if I really tried.
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Smile. That's what the ugly-thing did as it look at me. Damn would I love
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to eat it's nose. It laughed. Poked me with a stick. Laughed. Smiled. I
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decided I would have to kill it.
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It fed me. Cared for me, I played along. It thought I valued it and it's
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miserable existance. I laughed inside. It thought I loved it, boy was it
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ever wrong. It smiled, I thumped my ass. It petted me, I plotted. Dark
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and desolate were the nights that I thought of chewing it's ears, it's
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nose and oh those delicate eyes...oh that would be so sweet. I planned
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and I planned.
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It let me out. It let me frollic. Tonight it died. I played, it enjoyed
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it. It tried to put me back in the cage, I protested, made cute eyes,
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damn was this ugly beast ignorant. It let me stay out. I laughed if, if
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only it could have heard my hideous laughter. It died tonight. Tonight.
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Life, Death all were in my control, the poor two legged beast.
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Snort. The creature made odd sounds as it lay there appearing to be a
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sleep. I hopped up by it. It didn't move. I barely thumped it, nothing.
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Now was my revenge. I targeted the neck, that juicy morsel of life, oh
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how sweet it looked. I sighted, jumped bit, and it screamed. Screams of
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ultimate terror and agony. It threw me, hard. I absorbed the impact.
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Sweet juice flowed from it's neck. It frollicked around, dancing the
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dance of death. Screaming, hitting walls. Laughter. It heard me. It
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turned saw me and my laughter, suddenly figuring it out, too late. It
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collapsed onto the floor, with a strange look in it's eye, one of sorrow
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and remorse.
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I ate well that night.
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þ Third Party Offerings.
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If you can type. Well almost type, then send something into PUD. We
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will include it. Simply. I want an expanded format for this third
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edition of the digest that mankind loves to hate. Look for the new
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stuff coming soon from a really "goofy" person.
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þ MAIL SEND MAIL SEND MAIL SEND MAIL SEND MAIL SEND MAIL SEND MAIL SEND MAIL
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PuD senior editors can always be reached at:
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Baphomet the Limbo King 14@2506 WWIVNET
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NO COURiER 25@2506 WWIVNET
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Or call Project-X and EMAIL us there at (205)-883-0894
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Contributing users may be more difficult to find:
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fReD tHe HiTmAn Currently on the lam from AT&T, something about
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32k worth of 900 numbers...
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The BrAvE LiTtLe ToAsteR Last seen in the warehouse near a local toaster
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outlet.
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G-BUNNY A little hell-hole of a cage.
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Biscuit and Gravy Well you know how chickens are...
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Anyone we forgot to mention, too fucking bad. Cry somewhere else you fag.
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þ Sources for qoutes in this issue.
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[1]: Rush - Time Stand Still.
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[2]: No Courier at Radio Shack buying a 33 Number tone dialer.
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[3]: From GRaPE-JaM By:
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Baphomet the Limbo King and this guy named Stephen.
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ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
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¿¿ÀÙÀÙÀ¿ÙÀ¿ÚÚÙ¿À¿Ú¿¿ÀÙÀÙÀ¿ÙÀ¿ÚÚÀÙÀ¿ÙÀ¿À¿ÚÀÙÙÀ¿ÚÚ¿À¿ÚÀÙ¿À¿Ú¿¿ÀÙÀÙÀ¿ÙÀ¿ÚÚÀ¿ÚÀÙ¿À¿Ú
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ÙÀ¿ÙÀ¿ÚÚ´EndingÄQouteÃÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿À¿Ú¿¿ÀÙÀ
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ÀÙÀ¿ÙÀ¿³...Mack dadDY-B00m I eaT my GRaPE JaM wIth A sp00n... [3]³¿À¿Ú¿¿ÀÙ
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¿ÚÚ¿À¿ÚÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙÀÙÀÙÀ¿ÙÀ
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¿ÙÀ¿ÚÚ¿À¿ÚÀÙÙÀ¿ÚÚ¿À¿ÚÀÙ¿À¿Ú¿¿ÀÙÀÙÀ¿ÙÀ¿ÚÚ¿À¿ÀÙ¿ÀÙ¿ÀÙÚ¿Ú¿¿ÀÀÙ¿À¿ÀÙÙ¿ÚÀÙ¿À¿Ú¿¿ÀÙÀÙÀ
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