214 lines
11 KiB
Plaintext
214 lines
11 KiB
Plaintext
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
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*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
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*-* *-*
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*-* *-*
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*-* TTTTTTTTTT AAAAAA NNNN N J *-*
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*-* T A A N N N J *-*
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*-* T AAAAAAAAAA N N N J *-*
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*-* T A A N N N J J *-*
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*-* T A A N NNNN JJJJJ *-*
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*-* *-*
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*-* There Ain't No Justice *-*
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*-* #04 *-*
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*-* *-*
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*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
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*-* Phoenix Modernz Inc. 908/830-TANJ *-*
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- This Ain't No SANFile! / I Hate Banks! -
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This ain't no SANFile. Thats the title of this edition of TANJ,and I mean what
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I say. TANJ is the SOLE property of Phoenix Modernz Inc. If you downloaded this
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textfile under any name except TANJ.004, then you have been gyped.
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Phoenix Modernz is not associated in any way with SANctuary, Modernz Textfiles,
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or any other group of any sort.I have nothing against the folks at SANctuary,
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but to be honest, I don't know you guys, and I have no desire to become part of
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what sounds like a communistic attempt to become great by joining everything
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everywhere under your leadership.
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I write text because I enjoy doing so. I also write text under the delusion
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that someone out there enjoys reading it,but even if that were not the case,
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I'd probably write for my own pleasure,anyway. Someone might even learn from my
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experiences & observations. If this is the case, give TANSTAAFL a call and you
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can thank me semi-personally. Who knows...I might even chat! (Inside Joke).
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Now some might ask, why are you writing a file about not being a SANfile? Fair
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question I suppose. I guess the reason is that when I gave Digital-demon all
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rights to the MODERNZ textfiles, I did so because the rest of us in Phoenix
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Modernz did not wish to be associated with strangers,as we had been in the
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past. Our group previously had problems with people claiming to be in the
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group who weren't, and we saw it happening all over again with this SAN
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business. I know I for one was never asked if I wanted to be linked with this
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new group, which was fine,since at the time I was basically in a coma anyway.
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Comas are the Phoenix Modernz trademark these days...GHOST hasn't called a bbs
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in months,and I have no idea what Leech has been up to lately...
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In any case,when I gave the ownership over to Digital-demon,he printed my
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announcement stating that he was supreme cheese along with my first TANJ file.
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No problem there...I considered it a fine swan song. I was flattered, even.
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But when the others started appearing in Modernz as well, I knew it was time
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to write this file.
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Anyway...I have been out of the text writing business for a few weeks while
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I worked on another project...TLSNet. TLS (The Lawless Society) is a small
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learn-as-you-go h/p group near me. I was "adopted" into the group,and have even
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written one textfile under their banner (TLS 5,to be exact). The sysop of the
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Syndicate, TLS's home bbs,wanted to start a network of BBS's all sharing a FIDO
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type echomail structure, so he & I got to work setting up FrontDoor.
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Anyone who has ever built a network from scratch knows the kind of hell we put
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ourselves thru. Everything seemed harder than it was,since the instructions
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for frontdoor are cryptic,at best. But we eventually got it working,so be on
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the lookout for a TLSNet Site near you. TLSNet hopes to be a carrier of the
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best illegal message chatter,as well as a method for spreading TLSFiles,
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TANJFiles,and Modernz releases.
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*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
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Anyway,so much for long winded disclaimers.
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Banks. Every town has one, or two, or more. If you have ever tried to deal with
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one, I'm sure you've noticed that they are nice & friendly until they have
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your money,and then....they change. My local bank recently got taken over by a
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larger, statewide bank. To put it mildly, it sucks. I recently witnessed a
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teller at the drivethru tell some shmoe that she couldn't cash his payroll
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check (which was drawn on THAT branch of THAT bank) because he didn't have an
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account there. Even more recently, I was told I could no longer cash MY payroll
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check there unless I had enough money in my account to cover it.
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So lets see... you can't cash a check drawn on the bank without an account,
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and you can barely cash a check if you DO have an account there. It was at this
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point that I started my crusade...to crush the banking infrastructure of this
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country. I mean...who out there actually LIKES banks?
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What must you do to join this crusade? First, get yourself a mason jar. The
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mason jar represents your desire to find an alternative to a bank. Next, close
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out any and all bank accounts you might have. Encourage your friends, relatives,
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and neighbors to do the same. Bug people on the street about it. And then take
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things a step or two beyond the usual...
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A million files have been written about ATM machines. This is not going to be
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another one, unless you consider the few common sense ideas I am about to
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present to apply. First,you must consider that super-glue is a terrorists
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best friend. It can be used to clog up every orifice on the ATM, from the
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cash recieve drawer to the slot the card goes into. If your bank uses the
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machines that have a window that closes over the keypad, glue that shut too.
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Spray paint over the security camera, the information screen, and the keypad.
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And while you're there, be sure to trash the garbage chute for discarded
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cash advance reciepts.... waste not, want not!
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While the bank is open, wander inside. On a busy day, you can drive their
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operating costs thru the roof several ways. Steal all the pens, or better yet,
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undo them and steal their innards. Take EVERY slip of paper on the counter.
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All of it! If they have a desk with money market deposit slips, etc., take all
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that stuff too. If its a warm day, find some way to wedge the doors open. Give
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cold days a chance to drive up their costs, too. Get on line... even if you
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don't want anything. And... be creative.
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What to do with all those slips of paper? You could just throw them away,
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or start a fire in their dumpster with them... or you could fill them all out,
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and send them back. Apply for credit in a dozen different names, addresses, etc.
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Someone, somewhere, will have to waste their time going thru all of your
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fraudulent applications trying to sort out the real ones. This takes time, which
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costs the bank even more money.
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I think Mojo Nixon said it best...
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"I hate banks...
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I just can't stand 'em.
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Gimme a shovel & man I'll plant 'em.
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Six feet under thats where they belong...
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I hate banks is the name of this song.
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I think I'll rob myself one or two...
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Yeah I hate banks, yeah, how 'bout you?
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Well...lend me a nickel & lend me a dime,
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repossess my house any old time.
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Financial institutions think they're so high faluting...
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Just a bunch of fruits in three piece suits,
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trying to steal all my loot.
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Things are smelling pretty rank,
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We must be near a stinking bank.
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Smells worse than Rockefellars feet,
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Wall Street can eat my meat.
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Yeah throw the moneylenders out of the temple;
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I hate banks its just that simple.
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Royal Crown made of tin,
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is a metal thing to keep your money in.
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Mason jar is okay too,
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if you see a bank well you know what to do.
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Now,lemme tell you people something...
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The only banks I like, well, I like Ernie Banks alright.
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And I like the banks of the Mississippi River...
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Yeah, and I like banks of fender twin reverb...
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Electric guitar amplifiers behind me, raging on the stages...
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Well,when I walk in they treat me like a dog;
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want to hit them in the head with a doo-doo log.
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Republicans, one and all...
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Their talleywhackers are mighty small.
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Stealing from the poor gonna give to the rich...
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Wanna make the bank president twitch in a ditch.
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Yeah, see that teller with the blue hair,
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giving me the evil-eye stare.
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Won't cash my check don't like my ID...
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got the security guard after me.
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If I was E. F. Sloane,
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I'd say the Dow Jones can suck my bone.
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Yeah.
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Everybody say the three magic words!
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I want you to help me say the words!
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I want you to repeat after me!
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I HATE BANKS!
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Can't stand 'em!
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I HATE BANKS!
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Don't Like 'em!
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I HATE BANKS!
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Bunch of Foo-Foo's!
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I HATE BANKS!
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Like a big zit!
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I hate banks...
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I just can't stand 'em.
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Gimme a shovel & man I'll plant 'em.
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Six feet under thats where they belong...
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I hate banks is the name of this song.
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I think I'll rob myself one or two...
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Yeah I hate banks, yeah, how 'bout you?
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Now lemme tell you something...
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I'm not real fond of the PHONE COMPANY either!
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You know?
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Yeah, and I don't like the cable TV company.
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You know why I don't like the cable TV company?
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Cause they just be sucking that stuff right out the sky!
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THEY don't have to pay nuttin for it!
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I just get me one of them bootleg cable boxes,
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and get me one of them climb the pole and stick the thing in...
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I ain't gonna pay for it!
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NOOOOO!!!!"
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The above is copyrighted somewhere,and used completely without permission.
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Somehow, I doubt Mojo will mind.
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Thats it for this file. (C)opyright Phoenix Modernz.
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*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
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*-* Phoenix Modernz Inc. TANSTAAFL BBS:908/830-TANJ *-*
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*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
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^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Please Note NEW Number!
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*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
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*-* Modern Textfiles Inc. The Matrix BBS:908/905-6691 *-*
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*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
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*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
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*-* The Lawless Society Inc. The Syndicate BBS:908/506-6651 *-*
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*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
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*-* The Golden Road BBS (TLSNet:609) 609/490-1012 *-*
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