91 lines
3.9 KiB
Plaintext
91 lines
3.9 KiB
Plaintext
Principia Entropius Book Two >>The Principia EntroHocusPocus
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Part Eleven of 15
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Channelling By Deacon Noz
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_________________________
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There I was: seventy-two straight hours of transcendental meditation
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and I'd passed the Twilight Zone, gone beyond the lunatic fringe,
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seen Elvis (he's on the Slim Fast plan and looking pretty good),
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and reached Nirvana. God was there.
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Well, he looked like god. No one else could dress that badly
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and get away with it. Okay, there's Madonna; point taken.
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But this guy--he was archaic.Had on this sort of toga thing
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that was twelve different shades of white. He was old too,
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in his billions maybe. Much too old to be going to a toga party,
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so you have to figure he meant to dress that way.
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Didn't matter. I hadn't come all this way for fashion lessons. I wanted
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the meaning of life. Who better to ask?
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He was asleep. I tried shaking him awake. You know, a gentle tap on the
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shoulder and a, "Hey your Holyness, time to wake up". Creep didn't budge, so
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I kicked him--hey, I was in a hurry, alright?
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"Uh, what?" he said. "Mikey, is that you? Just a a few more hours,
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okay? Then I promise to do something about that AIDS business."
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"No, it's me. Noz. Remember?"
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Blood-shot eyes squinted at me. He sat up. "Noz? What's a Noz?"
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"Me. I'm a Noz. Nice to meet you." I stuck out my hand.
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"No. This can't be happening. It's a dream, right?
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Something Luke cooked up to spoil my nap?"
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"Wrong-o."
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"Thought we'd gotten rid of you."
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"Why would you do that?"
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"Uh? Oh, no reason. Forget it. So, what do you want?"
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"The meaning of Life."
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"Sure, no problem." He stared at me some more.
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"Well, what is it?"
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"Can't tell you."
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"What?!"
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"Against the rules."
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"That's great! Came all the way out here for nothing."
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God got this sort of gleam in his eye. "I can tell you this," he
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whispered. "Television. The signals from television mess up your mind.
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That's why the world's screwed-up. Everyone's watching TV. Stop watching
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for awhile, you'll see."
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"That makes sense."
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He nodded, "Sure it does, sure. Now get out of here."
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God waved his hand and I was back in my room. But now I had it, not the
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meaning of life, no, but a secrete.
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That day I began the quest--to not watch TV and see how the world looked.
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*******************************************
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Yet one Caution let me give by the way to my present or future reader,
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Who is actually melancholy--that he read not the symptomes or prognosticks
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of the following tract, lest, by applying that wich he reads to himself,
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aggravating, appropriating things generally spoken, to his own person
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(as melancholy men for the most part do), he trouble or hurt himself,
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and get in conclusion, more harm than good. I advise them therefore
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warily to peruse that tract.
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------Robert Burton
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--The Anatomy of Melancholy
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Circa 1621 A.D.
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******Brother Mog beat me with a Prognostick.
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Words of Wisdom:
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The Erisians Give Great advice, and discuss at length many things.
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It is advisable, and perfectly acceptable to say something, and then
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if later it seems you want to say something different, to do so. As long
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as you do so, in a Vague St. Sherman kind of way, with a Question or
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Completely unrelated comment, that is very short.
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If anyone wants to come back, and clarify what you mean, take the" Erisian
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Dodge" and say "What you understood, was what you wanted to understand."
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This can be very profound, and indicates, that your words, are indeed so
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well chosen, that they illicit whatever thoughts of wisdom, a person wants
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to find in them, and it does not answer their question, but is as obscure
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and vague as the St. Shermanesque response.
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