157 lines
9.5 KiB
Plaintext
157 lines
9.5 KiB
Plaintext
PAIN
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Meaning and purpose
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in the life of a Christian
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The ÿexperience ÿof ÿpain, ÿin whatever ÿform ÿit ÿtakes ÿis
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universal. ÿÿHuman ÿsuffering ÿis one of ÿthe ÿworld's ÿgreatest
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unanswered ÿquestions. ÿÿEspecially ÿduring the newness ÿof ÿthe
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Christmas season, do we become more and more aware of the mystery
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involved ÿin ÿit. ÿI'm not writing this article ÿto ÿattempt ÿan
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answer to the suffering question. ÿI am writing instead, ÿsimply
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to ÿshare ÿsome ÿof my thoughts and experiences ÿon ÿthe ÿmatter.
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Also, ÿÿperhaps by examining my mistakes, ÿand efforts in dealing
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with pain, ÿyou will have something to fall back on when it comes
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your way ... as it inevitably will.
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Just by way of background, I was on Cross Fire '75, the team
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to West Africa. ÿI ÿspent much of the fifteen months we traveled
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in ÿpain, ÿand incredible fatigue. ÿI ÿnever really took it ÿtoo
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seriously, ÿÿas ÿmost ÿof ÿus were sick ÿregularly. ÿÿIt ÿbecame
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frustrating for me, and the entire team though, when my illnesses
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outweighed my healthy times. ÿThe situation reached a crisis the
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final ÿmonth ÿof ÿteam when I just couldn't ÿcontinue. ÿÿI ÿÿwas
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hospitalized ÿat ÿthe ÿend ÿof ÿAugust ÿ1976, ÿÿand ÿdue ÿto ÿthe
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persistence of a caring doctor, ÿdiscovered I was the victim (and
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had ÿbeen ÿfor years) ÿof an incurable, ÿand ÿoftentimes ÿcruelly
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painful ÿdisease called Systemic Lupus Erythemetosis. ÿLupus for
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short. The cause, and the cure remain unknown.
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I remember laying in the hospital in a state of ÿdis-belief.
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My ÿhead ÿwhirled with questions, ÿbut none so prevalent ÿas ÿthe
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eternal "why?" Why me ... why now ... why this? I ÿwas suddenly
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faced with the reality that I would be dealing with pain on a day
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to ÿday ÿbasis for the rest of my life. ÿIn the fear ÿthat ÿsuch
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thoughts bring, I began to observe the attitudes toward suffering
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in ÿthe ÿpeople ÿaround me. ÿMost of us view pain ÿas ÿsomething
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alien, ÿÿsomething ÿto ÿeradicate ÿand be rid of ÿas ÿquickly ÿas
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possible. This attitude may be fine when you deal with ills that
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are ÿtemporal, ÿdefinable, ÿand curable. ÿBut not all ÿsuffering
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falls ÿinto those categories. ÿWhat do we say to those ills ÿand
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accidents ÿÿthat ÿÿleave ÿtheir ÿvictims ÿpermanently ÿÿdisabled,
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disfigured, or mentally incapacitated? ÿWe cannot simply dismiss
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them. They are real, and difficult, and very much a mystery.
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When a Christian deals with life situations, we must keep in
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mind ÿthe ÿfact that God is a mystery. ÿHe cannot be defined ÿor
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explained by our limited knowledge. ÿWho hasn't heard someone in
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desperation or grief ask the unanswerable "why?" And who had the
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power and wisdom to respond? Once we accept that sometimes there
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are ÿno ÿanswers, ÿat least for now, ÿwe experience a release ÿof
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those gnawing doubts, ÿand become free to start learning. ÿÿWhen
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there ÿare ÿno answers, ÿonly questions for us, ÿwe must look ÿto
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Christ, ÿÿand ÿHis example. ÿJesus felt. ÿHe hurt and ÿlaughed,
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suffered ÿand died as we all must. ÿHe was and is God incarnate,
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sensitive counselor to our despair, ÿas He has felt the very same
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pain we do. ÿC.S. Lewis, upon the death of a dear friend, ÿwrote
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in his book A Grief Observed:
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"When ÿI lay these questions before God, ÿI ÿget no ÿanswer.
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But, a rather special no answer. It is not a locked door. It is
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more ÿlike a silent, ÿcertainly not unkind gaze. ÿAs ÿthough ÿHe
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shook His head, ÿnot in refusal, but waiving the question. Like,
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'Peace Child, you don't understand."
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The ÿenigma of pain reflects the mystery of God. ÿIt begins
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as a journey of trust. We can choose to accept and deal with our
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frailty, ÿÿor, ÿlike Ivan Dostoevsky stated, ÿ"If God offered ÿme
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suffering ÿas a pass through life, ÿI ÿfor one would ÿreturn ÿthe
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ticket." ÿWe can face, ÿand even learn from the realities of our
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humanity, or we can run from them.
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Why ÿmust suffering remain a mystery? ÿI ÿcan't give a ÿpat
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answer, ÿÿbut isn't it true that the times we are closest to ÿthe
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Lord ÿare those times we have no control? ÿFor me these are also
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the hours of my greatest sensitivity and compassion to those near
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me. ÿÿIt's ÿonly when our efforts to rationalize ÿand ÿeradicate
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seemingly useless pain are gone, ÿand we reach the end of our own
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rope, ÿwe see Christ's strength available to us. ÿIf the mystery
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were ÿfully explained, ÿthere would be no crisis. ÿMost of ÿall,
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there ÿwould ÿbe no need of our faith walk with God. ÿÿPain ÿand
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suffering are not some type of Cosmic Character Builders sent ÿby
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the ÿAlmighty. ÿThey are however, ÿused by Him to strengthen and
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cleanse our relationship to Him and to each other.
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As ÿChristians ÿwe ÿbelieve that God's ÿpromises ÿare ÿtrue.
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Romans 8:28 ÿreminds us that the Lord is ever present and working
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in our trials. Sometimes this is comforting, but often, the pain
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is still there, ÿand still very hard to cope with. ÿJust because
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we ÿknow we are living a mystery, ÿand God is using it, ÿÿdoesn't
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make ÿit hurt any less. ÿBut so much of our suffering depends on
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our ÿattitude ÿtoward ÿit. ÿIt's very human, ÿÿand ÿnecessary ÿI
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believe, ÿÿto ÿexperience ÿfear, ÿanger, ÿÿself-pity, ÿÿand ÿeven
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bitterness. ÿWe wouldn't be normal if these emotions didn't pass
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through us. ÿI think so often of one of my African friends, ÿwho
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when I reached a high pitched frustration, would always shake his
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head and say, ÿ"Kristi, it will pass." It will pass. Fear, ÿand
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all ÿof the so-called "negative" ÿemotions that follow it can ÿbe
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healthy, ÿnormative, ÿand even creative forces in our lives. ÿÿA
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well balanced emotional human is capable of them all. ÿThey only
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become evil when we allow them to immobilize and blind us to ÿthe
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lessons ÿwe could be learning. ÿPersonally, ÿI ÿhave ÿchosen ÿto
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concentrate on life, ÿmy life as it is now. ÿI ÿcannot wish ÿthe
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pain away, or ignore it. It has become a very real part of who I
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am. ÿÿBut what I can do, ÿwhether I am suffering or not, ÿis ÿto
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concentrate ÿon ÿthe ÿhealth ÿthat exists ÿinside ÿof ÿme. ÿÿThe
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acceptance of my human condition, ÿin the light of God's promises
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leads to a fresh hope, and a new peace of mind.
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As ÿI study the Bible, ÿI'm always amazed at the ÿincredible
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sensitivity Jesus has toward us. ÿWe humans, ÿunfortunately ÿare
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much ÿmore ego-centric in our view of suffering. ÿWe ÿmean ÿwell
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usually, but never quite know what to say or do. In sharing with
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a ÿperson in pain, ÿor dealing with it yourself, ÿit is vital ÿto
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remember ÿthat ÿthe ÿsuffering Christian lives ÿwith ÿa ÿconstant
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reminder ÿof ÿhis/her ÿfrailty. ÿThere is no question ÿthat ÿGod
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heals, ÿÿlikewise ÿthere ÿis ÿno question that ÿwe ÿdon't ÿalways
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understand ÿhow ÿHe ÿdoes so. ÿOurs is not a total ÿtheology ÿof
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glory. We live, as Martin Luther puts it, ÿ"In the shadow of the
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Cross." ÿÿWe ÿmust take this cross seriously, ÿwith all of ÿit's
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implications. There is no victory without defeat, ÿglory without
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shame, ÿor health without suffering. ÿFor example; I ÿcannot say
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that I have been healed of my disease. (Not yet anyway) I can say
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however, ÿthat I have been healed of many other things through my
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disease. ÿÿI've ÿnever felt as loved as when I discovered I ÿhad
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Lupus. I saw Christ alive through the caring of His church, ÿand
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I ÿÿexperienced ÿfirsthand ÿthe ÿsensitivity ÿand ÿfaith ÿof ÿHis
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followers. Healing with suffering ... victory, in the shadows.
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I'd ÿlike to tell you that I accept and trust at all ÿtimes,
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but ÿI ÿcan't. ÿI'm human. ÿWhen I'm in pain, ÿÿI'm ÿconstantly
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reminded ÿof my mortality. ÿBut, ÿI'm also reminded that in ÿthe
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shadow (or light?) ÿof the cross, and God's promise of redemption
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through Christ, there is hope.
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In ÿclosing ÿout my thoughts, ÿI ÿthink ÿit's ÿimportant ÿto
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mention ÿa little bit on the practical side of sensitivity to the
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suffering person. I ÿbelieve the most important attitude you can
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take is honesty. ÿA ÿperson is rarely alone in their pain. ÿÿIf
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there ÿare people around who care, ÿthey will be suffering ÿalso.
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If ÿyou ÿfind ÿyourself in that boat, ÿdon't be afraid ÿto ÿadmit
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you're afraid. Be honest about your feelings, hurts, ÿand fears.
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If ÿyou're ÿangry or confused, ÿtalk about it, ÿÿit ÿhelps. ÿÿBe
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supportive ÿof the suffering person, ÿbut don't pity them. ÿÿLet
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them know you care by being yourself, ÿthat is after all who they
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love and need. Accept the ills of those you're dealing with as a
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part ÿof ÿthemselves. ÿA ÿvery real part. ÿMost of all, ÿÿdon't
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underestimate ÿthem. ÿÿThey ÿwill fight the ÿpain, ÿÿfear, ÿÿand
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desperation hand in hand with you, and with our Lord.
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I hope some of the things I've talked about will help you in
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your ÿtrials. ÿÿI ÿhope it helps the next time you hold me, ÿÿor
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someone like me as they cry. ÿI ÿhope most of all, ÿyou use your
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experience in suffering to grow in sensitivity, ÿand that our God
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will burn into your conscience your need of Him in health as well
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as ÿpain. ÿÿThis ÿChristmas, ÿmay you be guided ÿby ÿthe ÿtender
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compassion of our bleeding Savior.
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Kristi Lee Hernmeir
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NOTE: This article was written by Kristi for the Christmas, 1977
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issue ÿof the National Lutheran Youth Encounter Newspaper. ÿÿThe
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article was written only a few days before Kristi's death.
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Permission ÿto reprint the article was given by Pastor ÿGene
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and Ruby Hernmeir, Kristi's parents.
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