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(c) Copyright 1992, Norman Doering. Norman Doering
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19O NW Hills Dr.
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Valparaiso, IN 46383
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Another sample chapter introducing the writing of Norman Doering
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FEAR IS THE TRAP
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Come to Jesus, or go to Hell.
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-- Bumper sticker
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After the prospective Christian has been lured in by hope, they are
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driven further in by fear. The refined effects of fear finally becomes a trap
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in which that fear, of damnation, becomes part of the horrid result of
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questioning one's new faith. Fear is the key that fits the lock on the
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Christian's heart. The more orthodox, or fundamentalistic, the Christian's
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faith the more this is true. But the fear is almost universally denied by
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Christians. They cannot admit this fear to themselves for to admit it is to
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be unsure of one's salvation, a sin. If it weren't for biblical fear the
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fantastic and unreal hope would soon loose its ability to create an emotional
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fix. Like any addiction, it's not so much that one feels better with the drug
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than that one feels terrible without it. The grand promises made by the Bible
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fail in this life and need reinterpretation. The next life is too distant and
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and the expectations for it, while grandiose, are vague and murky. For the
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faith fix to work continually it must work against and suppress a fear
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inspired by the very same Bible. The Christians created a problem, sin and
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damnation, and then they sold the cure.
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The Bible tells the Christian that if you don't 'believe' you will be
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destroyed (Acts 3:23), damned to hell, tortured and burned for the rest of
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eternity. While those who do believe can make mountains jump into the water
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on command. There is no escape for more humanistic Christians, Jesus
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threatened people with Hell and no one who is truly humane can really believe
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in everlasting punishment. His preaching about Hell comes in verse after
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verse in which he goes on and on about the wailing and gnashing of teeth as if
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he gets a certain pleasure from contemplating this horrid torture.
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Christians do not wait for death like a child waits for Christmas, with
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giddy excitement waiting to tear open presents. They fear death, deep inside
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they fear it as much, or more, than anyone. No Christian funeral is a
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celebration, it's a mournful occasion full of tears. Those that don't fear
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death seem to be simply weary of life. Christians are unsure of their
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salvation in most cases, and deep within themselves they doubt the reality of
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their faith.
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The Bible, for a person who merely suspects there may be some truth in
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it, is a horror trip. It threatens them with possible damnation if they don't
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believe it is the truth. How does the reader, who doesn't know if the book is
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honest and correct or not, judge this book? He can't, not if he wants to be a
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Christian, for the Bible is suppose to be spiritual and impenetrable to all
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but those given by Holy Ghost to know. The Bible offers few rational
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arguments for its propositions. Instead the reader is told that it is God who
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'elects' the chosen and we can do nothing by ourselves but pray (John 14:6).
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Our reader is told that the truth is hidden from the wise. "For since, in the
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wisdom of the God, the world did not know God through wisdom, it pleased God
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through the folly of what we preach to save those who believe" (1 Corinthians
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1:21). The Christians around him are reporting experiences he doesn't have,
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experiences inaccessible to him and hidden from him by the Christian's
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inability to communicate what was experienced. So he must distrust his own
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wisdom, read his Bible, pray, and wait for God to do his thing.
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We can imagine that our agnostic Bible reader accepts the promises made
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by the New Testament, such as "ask and you shall receive," or those promises
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made in John 15:5-8. But this faith, after all his asking, praying, and
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studying, never comes. There is still something he hasn't done. In fact, his
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doubts grow more sever and he thinks he sees psychological trickery in the
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Bible's words. The fear remains however. And the fear will remain until our
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agnostic Biblical explorer either sets out on a different, atheistic and
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psychological, course of study, or his mind, weary of worry and fear, breaks
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down and gives him the dreams and delusions he secretly desires. For the
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secret thing which he is suppose to do to be a Christian is to pretend, to act
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as if he is one. In the end 'belief' means 'obedience.' If he does give in
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to the illusion and begins to act as a Christian, (for 'acting,' 'putting on
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the new man' is that invisible and secret thing required of the believer), the
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fear still remains, it is only covered over, and it will torture him when he
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doubts. He will, for as long as he remains a Christian, need his fix of
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faith.
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Many Christians talk about having a personal relationship with God and
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needing nothing more, but the truth is that many do need more. Their illusion
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needs constant doses of acting out and putting on, demonstrations of faith, to
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be maintained. If their belief is not maintained by this actin out the fear
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comes rushing in. Being a Bible reading Christian is a nervous condition, one
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in which the Christian is rarely content with keeping their faith to
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themselves. Many gather in groups, meddle in politics, and demonstrate their
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religiosity in public. Christians have a lot to fear from the end of
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Christianity and a lot to gain from creating more converts. As their world
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becomes more and more secular their illusions become more and more fragile.
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This need to witness and act out one's faith is because religious belief
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is basically a conscious-attitude activity. For this acting out is the way
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they believe, the obeying of their biblical instructions out of fear. It's
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not at all like believing one and one equals two, or believing in the
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existence of Black Holes, though many Christians claim it is like that. In
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most cases those who need to act out their beliefs most energetically are
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those that are the most insecure about their salvation status. They are
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trying to prove their worthiness to God by playing the role the New Testament
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has described. It's this same need to demonstrate one's faith that fills that
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coffers of the churches and makes religion a billion dollar business.
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For those who are indoctrinated from childhood, as I was, the situation
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is even worse. When a child is young, and maybe even enjoying life, and not
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very interested in 'religious' concepts, the indoctrination process begins.
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We were required to commit to memory things like the Ten Commandments, the
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Lord's Prayer, just like we were to remember our multiplication tables. We
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learned religion just like we learned history and english, by rote. To the
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child each of these subjects is either an arbitrary but enjoyable game that
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they're good at, or a awful bore that they're bad at. We did our job, or
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played our game, but most of us were waiting for recess and the real play.
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When I was a child, going to church and Sunday school, I would never even
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have dreamed that one day I would be an atheist. Atheists were characterized
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as stupid, dangerous, and even evil. I didn't believe or disbelieve as a
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child, I just failed to question authority for awhile. I didn't know what was
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what, or whether God existed or not. I didn't care. Later in life all I had
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to go on was my fear.
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I grew into my early teens with a both fearful and hopeful expectation of
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having some kind of subjective religious experience, as so many people reported
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having, in which God, or the Holy Spirit did his weird and wonderful thing.
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It was happening all around me. Something was suppose to happen to me too. I
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began to suspect that it would happen, perhaps a dream or a vision or hearing
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God's voice, and I feared it and hoped for it. I wanted to get it over with
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so I could finally judge the experience for myself. Yet, it never happened.
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I talked to God, but he never answered back. I don't know why it never
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happened because I wasn't that different from the others. Perhaps they lied?
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I recall one incident in my own religious upbringing that I think can
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effectively illustrate the place of fear in the indoctrination process. When I
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was about 5 or 6 years old I was taken to church to hear my first hell-fire and
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brimstone sermon. The pastor literally screamed as he described all the
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tortures of hell waiting for those who did not believe. A few days later I had
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a nightmare about being damned.
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I remember some of it still. There was a manhole in the middle of a dark
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street, just like the one outside our old house, and fire, like a blow torch
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flame, was shooting out of the little holes in the manhole cover. The preacher
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was there telling me to do something impossible, something I couldn't do. He
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was telling me to see Jesus, but there was no Jesus where he pointed. He told
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me if I couldn't do that, I might as well be thrown away. The manhole cover
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was removed, flames shot up and then subsided into a campfire like flame.
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Suddenly I was struggling with the hands and arms that appeared out of nowhere
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to grab me and the hands started dragging towards the flaming manhole, which I
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knew was the doorway to hell. I saw down into the hole, through a transparent
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fire and there were people thrashing and struggling about in some liquid
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medium, packed in like sardines, they squirmed and clawed away at each other
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trying to reach the surface so they could breathe, but the surfaces was
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blocked by something like a layer of glass. They looked up at me with
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pleading eyes.
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I was about to be thrown in to Hell when I woke up screaming. My father
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came in to see what was wrong. I told him how I was terrified because I
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suddenly realized that I really didn't believe like the pastor told me I
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should, and that I didn't know how to believe like that. I was afraid I'd be
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damned because of it.
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My father told me that I couldn't be afraid unless I believed. So, the
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only explanation for my fear was my belief. No more belief than that was
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necessary. I would be saved and no need to be afraid. Belief was equated
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with being afraid of a story? As long as I knew I was afraid, I had nothing
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to be afraid of? I guess he tried to explain this the best way he could. I
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was too confused to be afraid after that and went back to sleep.
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Later, when I was a little older, my father and I would talk again about
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the nightmare. I objected to the hidden assumption that equated fear with
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belief. I tried to make a case for knowledge and certainty as belief. My
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father told me I didn't understand. I asked him to explain, but he couldn't.
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All my father could do with me back then back then was point me to someone
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else he believed could explain it better, a youth counselor at our church.
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But they couldn't explain it either. The pastoral counseling I received
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merely tried to reintroduce the fear, telling me I really was at risk of being
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damned because of my attitude and my dream was a forewarning of that
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possibility should I not change my ways.
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I was told that "I must accept Jesus."
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"Okay," I said, "I'll accept him. I don't know if it's true, but if he
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wants to save me from Hell I'll let him."
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"You don't understand. You have to believe." I felt stupid, everybody
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was always telling me how much I didn't understand.
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"But how can I believe it?"
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"By reading the Bible." I was told. The world had to be designed by
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God, I was told. History said Jesus existed, even his enemies admitted to
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that. And so it went on. At that time I hadn't heard of Pascal's wager but
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that was the essence of my concession, if God didn't exist and you behaved as
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if he did, then you and the unbeliever both wind up in the same place,
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nowhere. However, if God does exist then you wind up in Heaven and the
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unbeliever one winds up in Hell. It made sense to me back then, but it was
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the same equation, obey out of fear of what might happen if you don't. I
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would not express my doubt openly again until I was in high school. I learned
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to keep my doubts to myself because the arguments were such a nasty game.
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I was afraid of Hell and belief finally meant obedience born out of fear.
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My problem was I couldn't understand exactly what kind of rules I was suppose
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to obey. Jesus didn't make too many rules I could understand because he was
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always talking about internal and ambiguous things. I felt no love for God.
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I hated him and I suspected he hated me. I was always knocking, but he never
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answered. I was always asking, but he never gave. My doubts were suppose to
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be the work of Satan. It wasn't Satan, it was me being me. It was my own
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mental integrity that tortured me. My doubts were caused by the incredible
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absurdity of Christianity itself.
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Most people are revolted by the torture of the body, both of humans and
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animals, and feel righteous indignation towards those who do it. But how many
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people even understand this torture of a child's mind? All the conceptual
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structures on the Christian reality map, damnation, sin, the immortal soul,
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faith, and all its other absurd fictions are instruments of torture. It's a
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cruel indoctrination process. The purpose of which is to set the priesthood
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up in our culture as parasites. They'll be there when your born, when your
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married, and when you die, and they charge for these unnecessary services.
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The sorriest cases of biblical belief are the hell-fire preachers and
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Bible-thumpers we see so often in the lower class, or poverty stricken,
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corners of the Bible belt. Their illness is the result of deep biblical
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study. These men are headed for psychological breakdowns. The theological
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hypothesis that man is but a helpless creature dependent on God's love for
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everything, and that prayer is the key to getting what man needs, is a
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dramatically flawed hypothesis. Man has but to ask this loving God for peace,
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health, and prosperity and they will be given to him. Then why don't these
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men have these things if prayer and belief is the modest price? Prayer fails
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and the excuse for its failure is our own lack of belief. It is we who are
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blamed and theological mumbo jumbo attempts to explain away the failure of the
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promises made. How do preachers, supposedly believers, remain authoritative
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when they too obviously fail to believe? The mind is inherently too wise to
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continue to fool itself for too long. The believer needs help to remain
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within the illusion. The final source of religious authority in all these
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churches must logically be a closet atheist, whether he knows the whole secret
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or not. Only a liar, or a lunatic, could claim authority in a situation where
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belief and study can only weaken the mind and its certitude.
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Tell some Christians that their faith is nothing but an illusion and
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they'll know you don't understand. They know there is more to their faith than
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that! It is something they feel. To such a believer any attack on his faith,
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any doubt, will begin to unleash the repressed emotion, especially his fears.
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He experiences the benefits of his faith directly then, in the same way a
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heroin addict experiences the benefits of heroin when on the verge of going
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through the withdrawal symptoms. Faith doesn't end the fear of death, it makes
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one afraid of life.
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On some level the more liberal Christians sense these dark things in
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their Bible and that's why we find the phenomena of Christians who do not even
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read the book their faith is supposedly based on. They can perhaps quote, or
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interpret into, passages about love, hope, or prayer something that seems
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quite positive and uplifting and yet these Christians seem completely unaware
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of the Bible's darker and more fearful passages. They too are victims of
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'faith' and will feel it when it crumbles. I was told by my more liberal
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teachers, who did see what I described to them about dreams and subjective
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experiences as crazy. But I was then told that it was the ignorance, and even
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the insanity, of those people that was distorting the biblical teachings.
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"You have to use some common sense when reading the Bible," they told me.
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"Jesus said those things to people of a different time, different place, and
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different culture. Interpreting what it means to us now is very difficult."
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The Bible contained some important truth for these liberals, but what that
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truth is exactly they can't say. It has to do with love is all they know.
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What kind of nebulous and empty faith they must have who can't even understand
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what it is they have faith in!
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Some Christian fears are quite real. Can the great mass of mankind,
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which has been indoctrinated by religious institutions for thousands of years,
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who have not yet supplied much structure for their own lives and minds, take
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on real freedom? Would they, as their preachers have been telling them all
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along, just fall victim to all sorts of deceptions and temptations unless this
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religious direction and structure is imposed on them? Yes! Many of them
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would! They will be calling up those 9OO number telephone numbers, the
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psychic hotlines they once thought were the work of Satan. They will get
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suckered by mystical scams, they will get sexual diseases, they will commit
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crimes, and there will be at least a temporary chaos.
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Whatever else the church may have done to the Christian it has taken care
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of him on some level. Like sheep who are protected from other predatory
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animals by the men who will eventually fleece them. Christianity would not
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have lasted 2,OOO years if it didn't take good care of most of its sheep.
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Without faith the Christian, if not damned, is at least "stumbling through a
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world of darkness, losing our way and our very selves," (Quote from 'Faith's
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Freedom,' by Luke T. Johnson, published by Fortress Press). If we could take
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a life long fundamentalist and turn him into an atheist with a snap of our
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fingers would he be able to function adequately? No, he wouldn't, at least
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not for some time.
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Will he need a support group? May be. Will the ex-Christians be
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victimized by some of these support groups? Of course some people will
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continue to exploit them. We must be realistic. We can't turn people into
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saints by destroying Christianity. Think of the unrealistic hopes that must
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be given up, the life in heaven after death, the belief that everything will
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turn out alright just because their is a God in heaven who loves them.
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Churches, religions, and even ordinary social organizations impose a
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certain direction and structure on our lives. One's role is clearly defined
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by others or by tradition. The Christianity of the church is heavy with
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defined roles and traditions that eliminate one's need to think about these
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things. We can expect society to get even more chaotic, with more ideological
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confusion and malaise, as Christianity dies.
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Christians have a lot to fear from the end of Christianity.
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At some level we all feel that we will lose ourselves if we change our
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beliefs too radically. The Christian is in the same boat there, and they will
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also have to contend with having their naked illusions exposed. This is part
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of the price paid for one's illusory beliefs. The longer one lives without
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rationalism and atheism the less competent one is at it. Christian belief
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blocks mental capacities that would have otherwise helped one in getting past
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the rhetorical trickery in the first place. Atheism, by itself, does not
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provide any structure or answer questions about what is right and wrong
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behavior. Humanism does this, but atheism is only a lack of belief in God
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and tells us nothing about what is believed. Atheism is only the freedom from
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theism and where you go from there is your own choice. You may even stumble
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into something worse than Christianity. One of nature's cruel dictates is
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that you cannot abandon reason and not fall victim to something irrational.
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For me it's easy now to say "Well, if I'm damned, then at least I'll be
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damned for being what I really am instead of pretending to be something I'm
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not." I have no other rational choice but find out exactly what it is I am
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and to create my own purposes, directions, and structures in life. Learning
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as I go along. When I became an agnostic I got sucked into things like
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Transcendental Meditation, a waste of time and money, as well as other forms of
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mysticism. I was young and gullible, I was trying to confront and shape my
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hopes, dreams, fears, and anxieties the only way I knew how.
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Cliches like "If it sounds to good to be true, then it probably isn't
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true," don't mean much when eternal paradise after death doesn't strike one as
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sounding too good to be true. We all have to learn the hard way and we cannot
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trust our priests, teachers, politicians, writers, or other authority figures
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to be either honest or correct.
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END
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The essay above, 'Fear is the Trap,' is intended to be part of a larger
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work that will also include 'Hope is the Bait.' The intended title is to be
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"The Dark Secrets of Religious Psychotechnology." I will attempt to study
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the psychological purposes and intentions of the Biblical authors in light
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of Abelard Reuchlin's and John Duran's theory regarding Arrius Piso and his
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conspirators.
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Note, these files were converted to Dos ASCII text from WordPerfect.
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You may order this booklet in advance, see order form below, and I will
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send you the finished work when it's completed. If there is anyone who
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would like to advertise or be noted on the finished disk I will have space
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for a few extra small files, so please write and ask. If there is an
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interest in the work I hope to eventually self publish a true booklet, with
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illustrations, and offer that booklet for sale. So, if you might be
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interested in a genuine booklet rather than a computer disk, write and tell
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me.
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The two essays here, submitted to Walter Radtke and John Duran for
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further distribution, are to be considered 'Shareware.' The shareware
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concept allows you to freely copy and distribute this copyrighted material
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as long as you do not alter the files. I offer these essays as a sample of
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my work and as an attempt to gain your financial support and to sell my
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future products to you. I want you to share these essays with any interested
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this file is not 25494 bytes long you have an altered file.
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These two essays may be re-printed free of charge as long as my name
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and address are included, it's noted that the essays are intended as part of
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a larger work, and I am credited as the source of the writing.
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The Dark Secrets of Religious Psychotechnology
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Another file downloaded from: NIRVANAnet(tm)
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& the Temple of the Screaming Electron Jeff Hunter 510-935-5845
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The Salted Slug Strange 408-454-9368
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Burn This Flag Zardoz 408-363-9766
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realitycheck Poindexter Fortran 510-527-1662
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Lies Unlimited Mick Freen 415-583-4102
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Tomorrow's 0rder of Magnitude Finger_Man 415-961-9315
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My Dog Bit Jesus Suzanne D'Fault 510-658-8078
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New Dork Sublime Demented Pimiento 415-566-0126
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Specializing in conversations, obscure information, high explosives,
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arcane knowledge, political extremism, diverse sexuality,
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insane speculation, and wild rumours. ALL-TEXT BBS SYSTEMS.
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Full access for first-time callers. We don't want to know who you are,
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where you live, or what your phone number is. We are not Big Brother.
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"Raw Data for Raw Nerves"
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