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431 lines
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-----=====Earth's Dreamlands=====-----
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(313)558-5024 - Supra 14.4 - Sysop: Gug
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A Game Master Support BBS
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RPG, Homebrew Beer, & Fiction Text
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From stehman@hubcap.clemson.edu Tue Nov 6 20:41:16 1990
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From: stehman@hubcap.clemson.edu (Jeff Stehman)
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Newsgroups: rec.games.frp
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Subject: Short: Knucklebones
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Keywords: Carried away
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Date: 6 Nov 90 16:32:08 GMT
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Organization: Clemson University, Clemson, SC
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Last night I was reading through some old net articles that I
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rather like (don't ask, I only have hard copies) and I ran across 'Fun
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with Faerie Dragons: A D&D Tale,' [ 7/8/88 ] by the Pakrat from
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Rutgers (Stephen Lignowski) who, alas, I believe we have lost to the
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real world. Anyway, it reminded me of a very strange adventure I once
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put a group through; kind'a WFRP meets Toon. Now, this was a
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one-session game while I was home on break, and these kind of games do
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tend to get a little silly, but this one got out of hand.
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My memories of this are rather vague; I don't even remember
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the characters' names; so please forgive me if this doesn't flow quite
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as well as the shorts I normally post. You probably won't be shocked
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when I tell you I watched the introductory screens to Castlevania the
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day before game.
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--
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That the necromancer wanted a young maiden was not the real problem,
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even though the town was having a hard time finding someone who
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qualified; they most certainly would not have handed some poor, young,
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innocent lass over to such a villain just to save the town from near
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total annihilation (or so they claimed after not finding one). The
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problem was that they were too isolated to get help in time.
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Stereotypically, they had to rely on a few local hunters,
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militia, and residents of the jail who had the courage (and on whom
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the mayor had leverage) to do the job. Stereotypically, the job was
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to march down the to the keep on the peninsula, penetrate its
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defenses, and kill the necromancer. (A few of the more intellectually
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inclined of the adventurers assigned to the task noted that coming
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back alive was not in their job description.)
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Our Heroes were puzzled no end. The skeleton just stood their;
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occasionally turning his head slightly to keep an eye-socket on them,
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to be sure, but he never really moved.
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The keep was a large, boxish affair set on the very edge of
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the sea. Their obvious goal was a large tower that rose up out of the
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sea and was connected to the keep via a stone walkway that appeared to
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be enclosed. The only explicit entrance to the keep was a central
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gate of large double doors. The way Our Heroes wanted to enter was
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through a door on a balcony nearly ten meters above the gate. That
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was well and good, but they could not agree on what to do about the
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headsman.
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The skeleton in question stood atop a small knoll not too far
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>from the gate. He was heavily armored and was leaning on a headsman's
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axe. Beside him was a chopping block. Our Heroes had done
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considerable scouting about the keep and the knoll, being less and
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less sneaky about it as time went on, but the headsman seemed to have
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no interest in anything they did. Even now, as Bio and Zog stood
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before the gate, Bio swinging a grappling hook, the headsman did
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nothing more than watch.
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Bio released the grappling hook; and dove for cover as it
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missed its mark and gravity took its toll.
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"Why don't we just axe the gate?" asked Zog. Dwarves are
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practical by nature, and Zog was in a hurry to get back to his cell.
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Bio's second try succeeded, with the grappling hook catching
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on the stone wall of the balcony.
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"What, and let the necromancer know we're here?" asked Bio as
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he waved the other three over.
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"Oh, right!" snorted Zog. "What the hell ya' think that
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thing's for?" he demanded, pointing at the headsman.
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Bio ignored him. "I'll go up first, followed by the sergeant.
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Hunter will be next, followed by Patricia, and then Zog."
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Bio and Sarge made the balcony, but before Hunter had a chance
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to start up the rope, the door on the balcony opened; Bio and Sarge
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were quickly beset by several skeletons.
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Upon hearing the battle, Zog immediately began hacking at the
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gate with his battle axe. When he finally succeeded in knocking out a
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plank, he reached through the opening to grope for a bar; a skeletal
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hand clamped onto his wrist. Caught off guard, Zog was slammed into
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the gate as his arm was yanked through the hole. Recovering almost
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immediately, Zog pulled back. After battering his antagonist several
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times against the inside of the gate, he freed his arm; the skeletal
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hand was still firmly clasped to his wrist. Even as he pryed the
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bones off, the gate was opened from the inside.
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The battle on the balcony went well, as the skeletons were neither
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well built nor well trained. The battle at the gate, being against a
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half-dozen skeletons, would have gone well, too, had not the headsman
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chosen that moment to come to life. The trio at the gate shattered
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all of the attacking skeletons, but when the headsman returned to his
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knoll, none of the living were conscious.
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Bio dodged the gauntlet as it darted for his throat, its fingers
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extended like talons. His narrow escape brought him little joy,
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however, as the second gauntlet, balled into a fist, connected
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squarely with his jaw. As Bio fell to the bone-littered floor, Sarge
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finally landed a blow on one of the elusive gauntlet-covered skeletal
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hands.
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"Die, gods damn you!" he screamed as he sent the gauntlet
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spinning down the corridor and into the wall. The gauntlet fell to
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the floor, but was almost immediately up again. Much to the relief of
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the living, it zipped around the corner, out of sight. The second
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gauntlet did likewise, disappearing around the corner at the other end
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of the corridor.
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Bio leaned against the doorway to the balcony to catch his
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breath. "Hey," he said with sudden revelation. "The fighting has
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stopped. And the headsman is back on his knoll! This bodes ill."
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"Well, lets make our way down to the gate and see what we
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find."
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"Okay, light a lamp or something."
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"Ah, I thought you brought a lantern."
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They looked stupidly at each other for a moment, then into the
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darkness of the keep. Without a word, they started down the rope.
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Bio, Sarge, and a recovered Hunter stood atop the balcony. Patricia
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was climbing the rope while Zog anchored the bottom of the line.
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Almost to her destination, Patricia slipped and fell. Screaming, she
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plummeted towards a Zog, who was also screaming and scrambling hastily
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out of the way. As she fell she got tangled in the rope. Her fall
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slowed and then came abruptly to a halt; she was dangling by one leg,
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her face a span away from the ground. Since she was still screaming,
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it was some time before she noticed that her boot was smoking.
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Zog had joined the others on the balcony and together they were
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encouraging, berating, and insulting Patricia. Finally the huntress
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summoned the courage to climb the rope. Halfway to the top, the
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headsman animated. Charging the gate, he cast aside his axe and
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leaped for the rope. Catching hold of it, he swung into the keep,
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then kicked out hard, causing himself to spin, all the while shaking
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the rope violently. Patricia screamed and hung on for dear life as
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she swung and spun danced around.
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"Pull them up!" yelled Sarge as he grabbed the rope and
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pulled. "He's doesn't have his axe! Pull them up! Pull them up!"
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The four hauled on the rope, but the headsman quickly dropped to the
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ground, retrieved his axe, and returned to his knoll.
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As they pulled Patricia over the wall, she collapsed onto
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the floor, still clinging to the rope.
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Torches burning brightly, Our Heroes descended the wide stairway into
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the main hall. The bottom of the stairs faced the entrance, beyond
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which they assumed was the front gate. No skeletons were in sight;
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however, the hall was not without bones. A skull was perched on the
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bottom of the banister, facing the entrance. The across the hall was
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a gargoyle, which had apparently fallen (or been cast) from above and
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landed on some poor unfortunate. All the remained of the victim were
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scattered bones.
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"Boy, those gargoyles sure are heavy," the skull said
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conversationally as the first of the living set foot on the bottom
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step.
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"Ahhhh!!!" Our Heroes replied in unison as a quarrel, an
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arrow, two swords, and an axe pointed towards the skull.
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"Say, the back of my head is tingling. You guys are pointing
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weapons at me, are you?" the skull asked suspiciously.
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"Who, us?" replied Bio, hiding his sword behind his back.
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"'Course not. Ah, you were saying?"
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"Yeah, boy, talk about a headache. I sure look a mess, don't
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I; all scattered about like that. That liche never was much on
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housekeeping..."
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"Liche?!!"
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"Yeah, you'd think with all the skeletons he had romping about
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this place he would have given a few of them brooms."
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Many a whimper came from Our Heroes, and more than one broke
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down and cried.
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"Ah, you said there's a liche?" Sarge inquired.
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"Hey, don't sweat it," replied the skull cheerfully. "The
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necromancer got rid of him first thing."
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"Small comfort."
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"'Course, he's not much on housekeeping, either, always
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letting those Fimir come tromping through here."
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"I'm leaving..."
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Bio walked into the small, circular room, heading for the spiral
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stairs in the center. Suddenly a dragon's skull, still attached to
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its bony neck, appeared from under the stairs and lunged at Bio.
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Screaming, Bio fell back as the dragon's jaws chomped just short of
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him. Again the dragon lunged and chomped, though it was held in check
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by the chain of its own vertibrae. Again Bio fell back screaming.
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The dragon's cold, eye-sockets stared at Our Heroes. Again
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Bio fell back screaming.
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"Hunter," Sarge called as he shoved Bio out of the way.
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Hunter stepped up to the doorway and leveled his crossbow.
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Kachunk!
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The dragon winced (as best he could) as the bolt bounced off
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his skull. Quickly he retreated behind the stairs. Momentarily, his
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snout and a single eye-socket could be seen as he peeked out of
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hiding.
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"He must be attached to the stairs," observed Zog. "You
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stretch him out and I'll chop him off at the base."
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Sarge grabbed Bio and jumped into the room, circling to the
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right. The dragon lunged, his jaws crashing together between Bio and
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Sarge. Zog dashed into the room and left, leaping behind the stairs
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and swinging his axe at the anchoring vertibra with all his might...
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On reflection, the battle with the Fimir was actually a pleasant
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experience. Feeling one's blade bite into the living flesh of the
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opponent was very refreshing (the ogre-ghoul did not count). Thus it
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was that, although his hair had been singed by fireballs, and Hunter
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was dead, Bio was feeling quite chipper (relatively speaking) when he
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stepped into the doorway of the room he was assigned to explore.
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Then he saw the gauntlet.
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It was above the door, a little off to one side. It obviously
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had some scheme or another in mind, as it was carrying a coil of rope.
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Upon being discovered by Bio, the gauntlet glanced right, then left,
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then dropped the rope behind the door. Attempted to appear
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nonchalant, the gauntlet polished one of its fingertips with its
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thumb. After giving up on appearing innocent, it gave Bio what was
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obviously a shrug, then darted past him, out the door, and down the
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hall.
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At last they stood at the entrance to the tower. Looking down, there
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was only darkness. Looking up, the light shed by a few windows showed
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them a stair leading up to a hole in the ceiling. Alas, the stair did
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not terminate at Our Heroes' feet. At their level of the tower three
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stairways had at one time arched together, meeting in the center. One
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led to the stair that spiraled down into the darkness. One led to the
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stair that spiraled up to the room above. One led to the doorway at
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which Our Heroes stood. Stereotypically, the latter was missing.
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"Well, that certainly looks stable," Zog said
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matter-of-factly, demonstrating both his understanding of stone and
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his understanding of sarcasm.
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"At least it will be easy to hook with the grapnel," Sarge
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said, indicating the nexus of stairs. The other two nodded.
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Patricia was guarding the other end of the bridge, as she
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refused to look upon the interior of the bottomless tower.
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"Uh, oh," Sarge muttered quietly. Zog nodded in agreement; it was
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indeed a predicament. Silently they agreed it was best not to tell
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Bio unless it was absolutely necessary; if the the gauntlet succeeded
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in untying the rope from the grapnel, he'd find out soon enough.
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Sarge raised Hunter's crossbow and took careful aim.
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Kachunk!
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The bolt zipped past the gauntlet, which jumped in surprise
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and then dove behind the stairs, out of sight.
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"What the hell was that!" screamed Bio, who was halfway across
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the rope.
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"Ah, well, I hate to tell you this, but one the gauntlets is
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trying to untie the rope," explained Sarge.
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"Ahhhhh!!!!" replied Bio as he madly scrambled across the
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rope.
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The gauntlet peeked over the stairs, then darted for the
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grapnel and began tugging at it vigorously, slowly working it towards
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the edge. At that moment, its mate showed up, announcing its presence
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by jabbing Bio in the ribs.
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"Yeow!" Bio screamed, letting go of the rope to grab his side.
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Instantly he was dangly upside down, hanging from the rope by his
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knees and desperately trying to keep the suddenly playful gauntlet at
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bay. "Get away! Get away! Get away!" Then he saw what Sarge
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intended. "No, don't!"
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Kachunk!
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Bio covered his head with his arms as the bolt whizzed by him
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and slammed into the gauntlet, sending it spinning away. Risking a
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glance, Bio breathed a sigh of relief. Pulling himself up, the
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grabbed the rope. Just then the other gauntlet freed the grapnel.
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"Ahhhh!!!" screamed Bio as he arced down and slammed into the
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wall. Loosing his grip, he fell the last five meters to the stairs,
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landing on his head, and rolled, unconscious, downwards for a full
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quarter-turn of the stairs.
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"Hey, that'll work!" Sarge declared as he gazed below. "I
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mean, if you're willing to risk the drop."
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"Beats the hell out of the playing spider with those gauntlets
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around," replied Zog. He cast about, but the offending bits of armor
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had vanished. Just to be on the safe side, "You go first."
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Sarge climbed down the rope, safely dropping the last several
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meters. Zog followed, hitting the stairs with a thud, tumbling down
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the stairs and over the edge.
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"Ah, little help here, please?" Suspended by his fingertips,
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Zog discovered courtesy for the first time in his life.
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Miraculously, Bio was only dazed. Single-file and weapons at the
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ready, the trio moved up the stairs, carefully passed the nexus, and
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charged the remainder of the way. Sarge, first one through the
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opening, was greeted by a mailed skeleton wielding a two-handed sword.
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Its first blow sent the sergeant backwards and over the edge.
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"Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!" Splash!
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Dazed, Sarge managed to get his feet under him and stand. The
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water reached his chest, but he was given little chance to consider
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his surroundings or his luck.
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"Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!" Splash!
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Sarge had moved out of the way just in time as another hit the
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water. Reaching out in the darkness, Sarge pulled Bio upright. He
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then fished around until he found both their weapons.
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"You okay?" he asked, pushing a sword into Bio' hands.
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Bio was silent for a moment. "You know," he said calmly, then
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his voice began to rise, "that is probably the singular, most moronic
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question anyone has ever asked me! Of all the... Hey, what's that?"
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A greenish glow filled the bottom of the tower, collecting
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near the bottom of the stairs and increasing in brilliance as the
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ex-liche brought together its spectral self. At long last having a
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target for its pent up frustrations, its ethereal laughter filled the
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tower's cellar, drowning out the sound of combat from above. With a
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gesture of its translucent arms, it brought forth its servants. Four
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skeletons theatrically rose from the water.
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Sarge had neither an interest in, nor the patience for
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theatrics; he shatter one skull before it had even cleared the water.
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Soon the spector was hissing impotently as Bio and Sarge reduced its
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minions to undead dust. Using the spector's light, they then made the
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stairs and started up.
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"Ahhhhhhh!!!!!!" Splash!!
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Zog sputtered to the surface. Standing on his tip-toes, his
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face barely cleared the surface.
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"Zog," Sarge called to him. "Find your axe and get back up
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here."
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"Pttt! Pttt! Yuck! What is this paste floating around here?
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I swallowed some!"
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"Never mind that, just get up here."
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With that they started back up the stairs. As Sarge reached
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the top, he again met the two-handed sword.
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"Ahhhhhhh!!!!!!"
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As Sarge plummeted out of sight, Bio leaped into the room.
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His first swing took out the skeleton's left leg, his return blow
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shattering its skull.
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"Diiie!!!" Bio screamed as he turned towards the interior of
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the room. On the other side of a worktable stood the necromancer.
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Next to him stood a skeleton, holding a bonebow at full draw.
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"Oops."
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As the arrow cleared the bow it split with a puff of magic
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into three complete arrows. One took Bio in the left breast, one took
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him in the right breast, but, fortunately, the third missed him
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completely. Unfortunately, he died none-the-less.
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Zog charged into the room. Tripping over Bio saved him from a
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similar fate; only one of the four arrows that targeted him connected,
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piercing his mail and sinking firmly into his shoulder. Undaunted,
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the dwarf charged. The skeletal champion leaped over the table and
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met him with an otherworldly saber. The dual was fierce, but Zog gave
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ground. Slowly he was backed towards the opening. Then, at a moment
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when Zog's defenses were down, the skeleton dealt him a vicious blow,
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slashing from low to high, cleaving the dwarf's face and sending him
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backwards through the opening.
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As Sarge watched Zog plummet past him, he noticed that the
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dwarf was not screaming.
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"Bummer."
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As his warrior battled the human, the necromancer was undecided. His
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strength was rapidly dwindling. He could summon another hero, or he
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could fly away through a window, but he was not sure he could do both.
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As he hesitated, his champion suddenly went down in a puff of dust and
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a rattle of bones.
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"Oh, dear."
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Looking up, he saw only death in the eyes of the invader;
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dealing with death on such an intimate level, he knew exactly what it
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looked like. No time for a spell of offense or retreat, he turned and
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leaped into the window. Reaching up, he grabbed the edge of the
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ceramic-tiled roof and clambered up.
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Sarge leaped to the window and was contemplating a method of safely
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reaching the roof when, amidst much clattering, the necromancer
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suddenly shot over the edge and plummeted, screaming, a hundred feet
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to the wave-battered rocks below.
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"Hmmm, the roof must have ceramic tiles."
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After smashing every vial and bottle in sight, Sarge examined the five
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black caldrons arranged along one side of the room. In four of the
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five were somewhat faint images. In one he recognized the landscape
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at the front of the keep. In another was the main hall. Two others
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showed one of the rooms that contained bodies of Fimir; however, they
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were from different points of view and rapidly changed. Then one of
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the gauntlets darted into view and Sarge understood. Picking up a
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staff, he stirred one of the gauntlet-caldrons vigorously, observing
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the affect in the other. As one gauntlet looked on, the other spun
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rapidly in place. When Sarge stopped stirring, the gauntlet dropped
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to the floor and flopped about. Laughing, Sarge tipped over the
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caldron.
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The contents of the caldron hissed and steamed as the slashed
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across the floor, eating away at the stone. Alarmed, Sarge leapt
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away. Glancing quickly about, he spotted a large chest near a bed.
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Not bothering to check for a lock, he brought his sword down on the
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top of the chest. Quickly breaking it open, he was fortunately to
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find what he needed; rope. Snatching it up, he jumped over the
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hissing and bubbling pool of gauntlet brains and charged down the
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stairs.
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Patricia was holding onto Sarge's belt as he groped through the
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darkness. They had made it as far as the stairway into the main hall
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and, hand on the banister, Sarge as leading the way down the stairs.
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Suddenly, his hand bumped into the skull, knocking it off the
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banister.
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"Hey!" the skull exclaimed in surprise just before clattered
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onto the floor. "Ow! Watch were you're going, will ya'?"
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"Sorry."
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"Ah, no problem. I really can't feel anything, anyway."
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Then Sarge remember the caldron. "You can see, can't you!" he
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exclaimed.
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The skull was silent for a moment. "Yes," it said
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tentatively, recognizing from the statement that a request would be
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forthcoming.
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"Can you lead us out of here?"
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"Think about it," the skull replied caustically.
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"If I carry you, can you guide us out of here?"
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"Oh, sure. Just come over here an pick me up. No, here.
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Here, here, here, here, here, her-aah!"
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"Sorry."
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"Like I said, no problem. I don't actually have eyes."
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"Where to?"
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"Where to?"
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"Huh? Oh, the gate."
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"Turn right. Okay, start ahead. Okay, okay, doing fine..."
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"Ouch!"
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"Watch out for the gargoyle."
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"Thanks."
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"You're welcome. Okay, a little to your left. A little
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more... Not that far," the skull as said Sarge walked into a wall.
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"Okay, now straight ahead..."
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The headsman would have furrowed his brow had he had one. Something
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was definitely wrong. He glanced at the bodies of the man and the
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woman. No, they were quite dead. Hmmm. Turning his head farther, he
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looked up towards the tower. Could it be...
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At that moment the floor of the necromancer's room collapsed,
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sending all its contents to join the spirit of the liche.
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Damn. Then the headsman collapsed into dust.
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--
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Those of you familiar with the workings of WFRP may have noticed that
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the pcs did use one or two fate points.
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During the battle within the tower one of the players,
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inspired, started in on a soundtrack common in many a Bugs Bunny
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cartoon (up the stairs, off the ledge, up the stairs, off the ledge...)
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It was hilarious.
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Jeff Stehman
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