142 lines
5.1 KiB
Plaintext
142 lines
5.1 KiB
Plaintext
ORCUTT-TALK: The Definitive Dictionary.
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Presented by his good friend, Jason Scott.
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The civilized world has had a great lacking in terms of its linguistic
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variety. In upstate NY, there exists an individual name CHRIS ORCUTT who has the
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unique abolity to create lingo. This great power has been given to only a few
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lucky individuals (less than 200 in the US) and it must be shown to the free
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world, to show the examples of the proper way to OT.
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-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
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I. Pronunciation
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Orcutt-Talk (Referred to after this as O-T) is a very involved lingo, and
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should be attempted by all, but not with the expectation of perfection on the
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first try. Practice in front of the mirror, and never give up. Oh, by the way,
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a low voice helps a great deal.
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The accential origins of O-T are somewhat hard to trace, but the accent itself
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can be best stated as a Maine-Bronx-Upstate-Brother type. It comes easily with
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practice, and usually is a result of too much stereo playing with 500-watt
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speakers.
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When speaking O-T, keep in mind that looks play a major role. When speaking,
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always keep a look of either assurance, or greed. The look can make or break
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you.
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II. Basics of the Lingo
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Like most lingos, O-T is used mainly for affirmation, or agreement. The main
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indicators of agreement are:
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POWER HARDY HEFTY DEAL! YA KNOW _______ (Prefix, explained later)
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VOLTAGE WATTAGE VELOCITY ENERGY MOMENTUM
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YEAH!
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POWER, (Pow'ah) is one of the more commonly used affirmations, indicating a
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large amount of status in the opinion of the speaker. It is a large part of the
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language, due to it's many connotations.
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POWER can be substituted by VELOCITY (Vel ah'si te), WATTAGE (Wah' tege),
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VOLTAGE (Vol' tege), MOMENTUM (Me men' tem), and ENERGY (En'ah gee). They all
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have the same impact in terms of meaning, although individual levels of
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intensity have to be felt out.
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POWER and its derivatives have two adjectives, SHEER (Shea') and EXTREME
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(Extreem') that give them extra boost for those times when extra POWER must be
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indicated. (Ex: 500 watt stereo is POWER, 500 watt stereo when its at its
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maximum volume is SHEER POWER)
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When combined with these words, SHEER and EXTREME create a large amount of
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connotations and uses:
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SHEER ENERGY EXTREME WATTAGE SHEER EXTREME VOLTAGE EXTREME MOMENTUM
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EXTREME VELOCITY EXTREME ENERGY EXTREME WATTAGE, POWER AND ENERGY!
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HARDY (Hah'dee) indicates objects that are tough, rugged, and built to last.
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(Ex: Johnny just bought a new jeep with four wheel drive. The jeep is HARDY.
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The jeep could also exhibit SHEER POWER, but that's something else.) As an
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affirmative, it shows agreement to a powerful deal.
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HEFTY (Hef'teh) is a near-synonym for HARDY, except that it usually indicates
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weight. (Ex: That 200 pound fat kid down the street is HEFTY.) The affirmative
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of this word is identical to HARDY as well.
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DEAL! (Deee'aaal!) is nearly defunct, but is mainly kept around to remember
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the good old days, when Chris started doing this shit. It is a general-purpose
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agreement word.
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III. Second-level words
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The part II words are the most commonly-used ones. These are less frequent,
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but should not be considered unimportant.
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YA KNOW [Phrase] (Ya Know'): This prefix is used as a confirmation to the
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speakers opinion, with several permutations.
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The speakers could use YA KNOW in the following ways:
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Confirmation - "YA KNOW it's the greatest, right?"
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Indication of pleasure - "YA KNOW ya love it"
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Description - "YA KNOW it rocks" or "YA KNOW it rules"
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WOOD [Object] (Wud'): This prefix is based on the premise that a
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wood-carrying vehicle has SHEER POWER. So using this idea, a slew of phrases
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emerges:
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WOOD VAN
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WOOD TRUCK
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WOOD CAR
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Please note: These phrases must be said in a very low, almost gutteral voice.
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This increases impact tenfold.
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O'GRADYS (Oh Gra'dees) The potato chip. This is used quite a lot to describe
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pleasure with nearly everything. This is also the official snack food of O-T.
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IT'S BACK, AND ITS AT ITS BEST: The familiar Bond slogan, used in O-T to
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describe something that usually isn't considered important, but has somehow
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gained status. (Ex: Check out that stereo, man. IT'S BACK, AND ITS AT ITS
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BEST.)
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Please note: This phrase could also be used with the YA KNOW prefix. (YA KNOW
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IT'S BACK, YA KNOW ITS AT ITS BEST)
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IV. Subtitutions
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Of couse, substitutions of words abound. Here are a few cases:
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Cars: CHROME-MOLLY, RUST-BUCKET, BADO-MOBILE
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Skidding the car when accelating too fast: TIRE
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A very plentiful amount of feces: A WOOD SPLITTING SHIT
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A large expulsion of gas from the anus: A RIPPER (SHEER POWER!)
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-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
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In conclusion, I hope this document has helped you in learning the use of one
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of the country's great linguists, Chris Orcutt...
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SO GO OUT THERE AND TIRE, CAUSE YA KNOW IT'S SHEER POWER AND ENERGY, RIGHT?
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YEAH! YA KNOW IT RULES! CAUSE IT'S BACK AND AT IT'S BEST!
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