88 lines
5.4 KiB
Plaintext
88 lines
5.4 KiB
Plaintext
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File : SPH-8.TXT
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Author : Bat Bastard
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BBS : The Banana Republic BBS
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SPHEROIDS, part 8
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Slings and Arrows...
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Lacy, Tilly , and the Undertaker scrambled into the Escort, and made
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velocitous thier extramuralisation.The undertaker semmed to be plying for
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trade, for he madehis lack of abilties as an overtaker very plain. "For shit's
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sake!" cried Tilly, from the floor of the car, her voice muffled by the bin-
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liner that had been pressed into service as a funeral shroud,"don't let me die!
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I'm to beautiful to die". Lacy decided to let this pass(as did the vehicle in
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the other lane) "Bitchen, man" was her sole contribution to the conversation.
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The undertaker halted outside Lacy and Tilly's abode, and they alighted,
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, bid insincere farwells, and staggered inside, mentally questioning the values
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of a society that premitted such behaviour in one so old, unwashed, and unversed
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in the verse's of Mojo Nixion. Barely had they entered, when someone began a
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percussion solo on the foremost portal.Lacy went to investigate,thinking
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thoughts of Thoth, and other violent deities. "Yarrss?" , she enquired, in her
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best Susan Renouf.Upon espying thevisitor, she saw that it was her neighbour,
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that ethnic gentleman ,En Double U something, prostarate in an attitude of
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supplication, bearing an unwashed teacup in the manner that Lacy always
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imagined tributes were presented to ancient Rome . "May I borrow a cup of
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sugar?" he begged, trying to look as little a possible as a man who claimed to
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go through women as other men go through clean socks. "And who was the honkey
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in the Rad wheels's?" he asked, overcome by twin urges, for knowledge, and for a
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diploma in sixties jive talk. "Oh, just a suitor" replied Lacy, coyly, in the
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manner she had seen someone do on 'Gloss' the previous night but three. Lacy
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lived in a fantasy world. "Yeah? Whatchadoo?" demaned the fellow on the
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doorstep. "oh just a little hearsing and swearing", replid Lacy, slamming the
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door in his face, for she felt the situation had outlived its usefulness as a
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showcase for her wit and impersonations.
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She returned to the lounge, carefully insinuating her way through discarded
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junk food wrappers and beer cans."What to do?" she mused to herself. Lacy was a
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girl who lead a life of watertight compartments. Last week was for killing her
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relatives.This morning was for the funeral. Tomorrow was for starting the search
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for the lost riches of Mummy. How, then, to spent the remainer of the day? Lacy
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wandered about the house.She turned on the television.An image of LP
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appeared,and began to speak."Mundane" thoght Lacy, changing the
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channel.obviously Lp was trying to defend his media-mashing stance of describing
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Arch Bishop Tutu as "Nigger with a Platitude".Leaving the television for a
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moment, she drifted tothe bookshelf, and surveyed the stock of pornographic
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literature therein.She picked a title at random. "The Karma Sutra guide to Fun
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Sex,limp edition".However, the book was colour-coded by the new literacy counicl,
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(whose policy to combat illiteracy seemed to be to reduce the vocabulary
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permissible in books, as a cheaper alternative to teaching people. Lacy
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herself had baulked at this scheme, whaen she came acros the L.C complete
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dictionary, a lexograph in 200 pages), not to contain any words above 3
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sylablls,so she returned it to the shelf. She glanced at a newspaper,(the
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misnamed 'TRUTH' which, by the policies of the L.C now had the hightset
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target-age readership, especially page 3) , open at the entertainment section.
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"SCHWATRTEZNEGGER SEASON !" announced one cinema."Now showing...."
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"Commando....Raw Deal.." read Lacy,"hmmm, seen them" ,"Red Heat..Running
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man..Twins..Triplets..Quadruplets...." and the sequel to Aliens, "Millions of
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the buggers!".Lacy turned the page. " Terminator...Predator...","Ah, the
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latest!","EXECUTOR!" screamed the blurb, "in which Arine murders 36 racial
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stereotypes, in a variety of interesting and inventive methods, only to
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discover that he has been appointed to distribute the estates of thier
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collective, complex wills!". Lacy couldn't abide courtroom dramas, so she turn
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ack to the televison,now displaying the co-star (and chief baddy) of the
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afforementioned "MOTB!"."Well.." began Kylie, who had taken up a career as an
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interviewer, after her sordid fall from grace, involving a rotary hoe
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"I admire your purity..Not clouded by delusions of morality, a bit like Sir Joh,
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really!"Alien snapped his gigantic double mandibles together, contemplativly.
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Lacy had difficulty in telling interviewer and interviewee apart. "Yeah, well,
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I try" He said, having the good grace to blush "by the way , have you tried my
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banana-aphrodisiac? guarenteed to seduce the most resistive victim, and new
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from LP Labs!". It was Kylis turn to wriggle with embarassment. Her audiece
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figures were down too, saw Lacy, glancing at the disguarded newspaper."Never
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mind Kylie", thought Lacy, turning off the television, and retiring for the
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night,"In disgrace, no-one will see you squirm"
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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AUTHOR : Bat Bastard
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Brought to the WORLD by The Banana Republic BBS
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