127 lines
6.7 KiB
Plaintext
127 lines
6.7 KiB
Plaintext
Z I * X S N T O S P E E T
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H T A I * A I N * R S N
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ê ê
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ê <GS#006> "CONFESSIONS OF A TEENAGE POLLACK" ê
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ê A HUMOR ZANfile. It's SUPPOSED to be funny!! ê
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ê Greets to: White Lightning, CoP, Ninja, James Lopez (hehe), ê
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Exorcist (write a damn file already), and of course
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ê Baron. ê
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ê Y ê
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By: Guido Sanchez ISO Written: June 26, 1991
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ê your HNGTU ê
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revered TORWEHA Call YING YANG now!!!
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ê Minister of Philosophy GNIDAERER ê
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and Canned Goods WAY
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ððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððð
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ThatClaimer:
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Well, you can't really use this phile for anarchical purposes, but
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you have MY permission to submit it as a school report or something.
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I hope you find this funny and revealing, and may Zhitzu be with You!
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]--------------------------------------------------------------------[
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PURPOSE OF THIS FILE
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I wrote this file after a conversation about Pollacks with CoP. I
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decided to write a phile to describe what a Pollack feel like after
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having all of these jokes about his ethnic group. I hope it'll clear
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up the whole thing about Ethnic jokes. This is a humor/philosophy
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file. If I offend you in this file, I give you my sincerest apology
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for shattering the dome that your parents carefully constructed about
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you. You may even thank me for lifting you out of your sheltered life.
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I say this because only those abandoned alone on a desert island have
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not heard these bad jokes. On with the phile!!!!!
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]--------------------------------------------------------------------[
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MY ETHNIC BACKGROUND
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Well, let's clear something up first. My paternal grandmother was
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the only Polish grandparent I had. On my Dad's side, there are Black
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people, Chinese people, Mexican People, Polish People, almost every
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ethnic group rests on my family tree (No Mongolians). So I figure that
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this gives me the right to make jokes about every ethnic group that
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I'm made up of, and there's a safe bet that there aren't too many
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Mongolian light bulb jokes floating around. So, I figure I've heard
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just about every Pollack joke there is. Well, I used to live in Texas
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where all of the conservatives lived. Most ethnic jokes were frowned
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upon, except for Aggie jokes. Now, for those who haven't lived in
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Texas, an Aggie is a person who goes to A&M university, or Texas
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Agricultural and Mineral University. Well, Aggies are the most
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well-known minority in Texas, whereas Longhorns (or University of
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Texas students) are the majority (probably because there are UT
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campuses in every "major" Texas city). Well, because people who tell
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specific Ethnic Group jokes usually get in a LOT of trouble
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(Gubernatorial Candidate Clayton Williams recently lost the election
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on account of an off-color rape joke he told to the media), and there
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was a need to tell jokes without getting blackballed as a racist. So
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everybody started to pick on aggies. For instance, you may have heard
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the joke: "Didja hear about the Pollack who tried to blow up the
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governor's car?? Yeah, he burned his lips on the tailpipe...". Well,
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in Texas the joke was the same, except that Pollack was replaced by
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Aggie, and the same for Nigger, Spic, Chink, and other lewd racist
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terms that I care not to type here. So now you know my history of
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Polish jokes. And you also know quite a lot about the history of
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Texas.
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]--------------------------------------------------------------------[
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HOW DO POLLACKS FEEL???
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Well, I am ¬ Polish, and I think Polish jokes are hilarious. On
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Channel 10 (cable), there is a program called Image Union, and I once
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saw a show called "PTV" aired on the show. Well, it stood for Pollack
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Television, and basically made fun of Pollacks. Well, the guys who
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made it were Polish, and they said in the closing credits that they
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loved poking fun at THEIR ethnic group. My point is this. I think it's
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all right for people to tell ANY ethnic jokes, because they are all
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applicable to every ethnic group. Take your favorite Pollack joke. For
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example:"Why aren't Polish doctors very good lovemakers? Because they
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always wait 'til the swelling goes down!!!". Hahahaha. Very funny. Now
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substitute Polish with Aggie or Black or Chinese or Mexican or French
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or Mongolian or ANY ethnic group. They all work, and make the joke
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funny. Most Pollacks I think take these jokes in good humor because
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they are aware of this fact. They aren't really meant personally. That
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is why when someone asks me to tell ANY ethnic group joke, I'll be
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able to tell them one. Even if the Ethnic group is Aleutian Islanders,
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I'll just substitute the ethnic group and keep everyone happy. Making
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jokes about one's ethnic group, religion, race, color, animal
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preference doesn't nessecarily mean that the joke teller is Prejudice.
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It just means that the joker is trying to make a joke, and is
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indiscriminately picking a group to poke fun at. Whenever asked for a
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joke, I ALWAYS tell Polish ones first, that way if people think I'm
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sick or racist, I'll just tell em that I'm Polish. Simple as that. No
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one really minds someone cutting down their own ethnic group, and if
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you're willing to do it, it's a great way to get some unbiased
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(towards you) laughs as opposed to the forced laugh you get one you
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make fun of that person's ethnic group (i.e. It's not a very good idea
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to tell a Jewish joke to a Jew if they're bigger than you. If you
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think that you can beat the crap out of 'em, go ahead and tell the
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joke).
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]--------------------------------------------------------------------[
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Well, it's been fun. Hope I've been insightful and humorous! Don't
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forget to read my other philes, and ALL Zan files for that fact. Keep
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the peace, although there isn't much of it to keep these days. If you
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liked the file or want to ream me out cause of it, I can be reached on
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most ZAN boards. Look for one near you to get the latest ZAN warez.
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Live Long and Zhit,
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Guido Sanchez
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]--------------------------------------------------------------------[
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Do YOU wanna become a ZAN member or courier???? Well, look for an
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application on your nearest ZAN mosque. Hope to hear from ya soon!!!!!
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This Has Been a Very Zhitty Presentation
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]--------------------------------------------------------------------[
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