72 lines
3.0 KiB
Plaintext
72 lines
3.0 KiB
Plaintext
'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE INSTALLATION
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===================================
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'Twas the night before installation,
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And all through the shop,
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Not a program was working,
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It sure was a flop.
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The programmers hung by their tubes in despair,
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In hope that a miracle soon would be there.
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The users were nestled all snug in their beds
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While visions of inquiries danced in their heads.
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When out in the hall there arose such a clatter
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I sprang from my desk to see what was the matter.
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And what to my wondering eyes should appear,
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But a Super-Programmer (with a six-pack of beer).
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His resume glowed with experience so rare,
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He turned out great code with a bit-pusher's flair.
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More rapid than eagles, his programs they came,
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And he whistled and shouted and called them by name:
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On Update! On Add! On Inquiry! On Delete!
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On Batch! On Closing! On Functions Complete!
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His eyes were glazed over, fingers nimble and lean,
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From weekends and nights in front of a screen.
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A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
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Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
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He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
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Turning specs into code; then turned with a jerk,
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And laying a finger upon the "Enter" key,
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The system came up and worked perfectly.
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The Updates updated, the Deletes, they deleted;
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The inquiries inquired, and Closing completed.
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He tested each whistle and each bell,
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with nary an abend, and all had gone well.
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The system was finished, the tests were concluded;
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The users' last changes were even included.
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And the users exclaimed with a snarl and a taunt,
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"It's just what I asked for, but not what I want!"
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[From an anonymous printout from somewhere in California]
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X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
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Another file downloaded from: NIRVANAnet(tm)
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& the Temple of the Screaming Electron Jeff Hunter 510-935-5845
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Rat Head Ratsnatcher 510-524-3649
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Burn This Flag Zardoz 408-363-9766
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realitycheck Poindexter Fortran 415-567-7043
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Lies Unlimited Mick Freen 415-583-4102
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Specializing in conversations, obscure information, high explosives,
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arcane knowledge, political extremism, diversive sexuality,
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insane speculation, and wild rumours. ALL-TEXT BBS SYSTEMS.
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Full access for first-time callers. We don't want to know who you are,
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where you live, or what your phone number is. We are not Big Brother.
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"Raw Data for Raw Nerves"
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X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
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