438 lines
12 KiB
Plaintext
438 lines
12 KiB
Plaintext
"Obviously you are not someone
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who is interested in such
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intangibles as demographics or
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anything as complicated
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as market research."
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--Sir Cygnus of (860)
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165. 8feb99
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,
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_ || ' happy
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< \, =||= \\ fullmoon
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/-|| || || we've
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(( || || || waited
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\/\\ \\, \\ so
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long 4!
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MAY CONTAIN PEANUTS
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Brook is either broke or breaking up
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with Andre; the only good thing about
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Donny and Marie are their ears; and
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suddenly Susan is on everybodys'
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tongues.
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Why, why, why!
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Greetings fellow above average people -
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you too in the cheaper seats, it's ATI,
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Activist Television Interview, issue 165.
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Wow.
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ATI is brought to you by MaShuGa Cookies,
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Baked With Organic Flour.
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"Cookies so good it'll make you crazy!"
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Mashuga Nuts, Inc.
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San Rafael, CA 94903
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What...You were expecting Brooklyn?
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||||||||
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| ^ ^ |
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(| * * |)
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-----oOOo---(____)---oOOo------
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http://www.zip.com.au/~dm
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http://www.columbia.edu/~carson/JohnDoe
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http://www.nativeamericanmusic.com
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http://www.foodnotbombs.org
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http://fly.to/zine-express
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http://baez.woz.org
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http://www.angelfire.com/wi/kokopeli/ati130.html
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http://www.thebird.org
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http://www.olga.net
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http://www.dogeatdogfilms.com
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http://www.freespeech.org/kokopeli/frucht.html
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http://www.rukind.com
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elvis.out.trw.com
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AND NOW A WORD FROM THE ATI PUBLISHER
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Ugh!
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OK, that was two words, sorry. All Right.
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I turn this column over to my close friend
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Cygnus (860) who has a few good words for you
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all:
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Dear Sirs,
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Do you ever get replies to your bulk
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emailing that could be considered emotionally
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damaging? If so I have written a program
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that filters out phrases such as "Spam Spewing
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Simpletons" or "Leave me alone you Bastards"
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from incoming emails, leaving you undisturbed
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with the untold countless millions that await
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you in your new found effort to get rich without
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ever really producing a product or indeed a
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service that is worth anything.
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I have even made the filter's sensitivity
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level adjustable so that you can set the
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automatic deletion function to activate at
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the familiar phrase "Fuck You" at minimum
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to "I didn't request any of this information",
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or "Unsubscribe" at maximum.
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Obviously you are not someone who is
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interested in such intangibles as demographics
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or anything as complicated as market research.
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You believe that everyone should be interested
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in your new found way of buying houses using
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only used popsicle sticks and husks of Spanish
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onions. I applaud you for your deep under
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standing of human nature that everyone wants
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to know these things and will send you $19.95
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to reward you for your philanthropic endeavors.
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And there is no reason why you should have to
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put up with the few ingrates that wish to
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vocalize their misguided frustration by sending
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negatively charged email to you , directly
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interfering with your ability to enjoy making
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the untold millions that await you.
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My simple program SCUMRID costs a mere
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$35.00, takes up a mere 50k of disk space,
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and takes seconds to install and works FAST.
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Some even say its over efficient, increasing
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system performance in areas they didn't expect.
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Many companies insist that after using my
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program they found they had increased the
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amount of free hard drive space to a level
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they had enjoyed before they installed their
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bulk emailing program and in some case their
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ENTIRE OPERATING SYSTEM!!!
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Please send all enquiries to:
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Cygnus@downcity.net
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/\
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\/
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WE GET A COUPLE LETTUCE 1'S IN A WILEY
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To Yous Guys:
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Just a thought I want you to roll
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around your noggins while you work
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on your next publication.
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100 Soothsayers of National
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Doom: All of them.
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Haiku Mike (212)
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Dear Sir/Madam
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As an user of the Microsoft Internet
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Explorer, Microsoft Corporation provides
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you with this upgrade for your web
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browser.
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It will fix some bugs found in your
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Internet Explorer. To install the
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upgrade, please save the attached
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file (ie0199.exe) in some folder
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and run it.
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For more information, please
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visit our web site at
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http://www.microsoft.com/ie/
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[ummm. didn't u dorks INVENT
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the spellchecker???]
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-------------------
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ATI. your fAvoriTe mIstake
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-----------------------
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to ati@etext.org:
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UNIVERSITY DEGREE PROGRAMS
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Increase your personal prestige and money
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earning power through an advanced
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university degree.
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Eminent, non-accredited universities will
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award you a degree for only $200.
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Degree granted based on your present
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ability to send $200. No further
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effort necessary on your part.
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Just a short phone call is all that is
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required for a BA, MA, MBA, or PhD
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diploma diluting the field of your
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choice.
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For details, call 602-230-4252
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[ed note: thanks for sending these.
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I liked the 687th one the best.
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It was much more witty than all the
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others, especially the 127th...]
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[our favorite letter to the editor this
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week came in the form of a great poem]
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it's from erin, aka: tjmax
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he ar two they are
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every ware they are
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gno where what when
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how we s(t)ay sane in
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format (i) on.
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thanks
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aer in
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---
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ATI - The Web Offset Press
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--- That's N O T a HOE.
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Hello
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I found some of your work on the web
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and wanted to invite you to visit our
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literary journal - A Writer's Choice.
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Please feel free to submit your work.
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http://members.spree.com/writer/
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Thank you and Good luck,
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Leslie Blanchard
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Editor
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A Writer's Choice Literary Journal
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ISSN: 1521-2319
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to: ati@etext.org
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I've just recieved a disturbing phone
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call from a couple of long time on
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the land supporters at Big Mntn.
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Today (Feb 2, '99) the livestock
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confiscations may have started in earnest,
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or at the very least they are surveying
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the areas they intend to hit soon.
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There were aparently several confiscation
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crews on the land around what we call
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"Down town Big Mntn" or the area around
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Anna Mae camp. That's realy all i know
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but it disturbs me enuf to send out this
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posting. The supporters have asked me
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to send out a request for immeadiate
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supporter presence on the land. Any who
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can get out there in the next day or two
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are asked to do so. This is at the
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very least a harrasment and threat of
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confiscation to mess with the elders heads.
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The relocation folks are growing desperate
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to get the last resisters off the land
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before the UN can act.
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walk in Beauty,
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m.g.
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-------------------
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ATI. your fAvoriTe mIstake
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-----------------------
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USPS ANNOUNCES "THIRD PENNY" INCREASE.
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<PAWN>-Washington, DC
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Unveiling a stamp series devoted to the
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Longplaying album (the LP) the United
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States Postal Service will be increasing
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price April 1, 1999 by 1/3 of a penny
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to make the cost of delivering a first
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class letter thirty three and one third
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cents.
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General Inspector, Sidney Bloomingthal
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said the stamps will be really neat.
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"Buddy Holly, Elvis, Marco Capelli,
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the Beatles, Little Eva, Harry Fox,
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Phil Spector, they're all gonna be on
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there," said Bloomingthal at a press
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conference yesterday at the Rose Garden.
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He said each stamp will honor someone
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who's put out an album. If they don't have
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an LP, they won't be on a stamp. That got
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around regulations for only honoring dead
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people. Each person's face will be
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emblazoned inside an album. Artists are
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being hired from a field of poppies as
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we go to press.
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Bloomingthal called for a 24-hour
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moment of silent speculation as to what
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other musicians will be honored on the
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33 1/3 cent stamp this April. Rumors are
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that Michael B. Williams, Getty "John Paul"
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Lee, and KISS will all make an appearance.
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-30-
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-------------------
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ATI. your fAvoriTe mIstake
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-----------------------
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"I'm praying about this [Clinton's peaches
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of important articles] and I don't mean that
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figuratively, this is a serious matter."
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--Senator Byrd, Politicial, Propagandist,
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Perjurer, and Popular Politician Punisher.
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OPEN LETTER TO SOMETIME SENATOR ROBERT BYRD
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When have you been figurative about praying??
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I REALLY want to know this.
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Tipping your hand, you give me need now to
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ask every human who calls the self a Christian
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how figuratively they be.
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Do you swear to schpiel the truth, the ruthless
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truth, and nothing but the soothsaying sleuthtruth
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so help you fig leaf?
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Spring is here, can you hear it?
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Birds. You've been right since 5 or 6 years old.
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Don't let them beat it out of you. Or you've got
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"uphill," getting it back the rest of your life!
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While we allow our "clergy" to preach hate,
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what are we doing to God's children all over
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the world???
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PRESS RELEASE:
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From: NAMMYS@aol.com
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This year's show is scheduled for
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June 19th at Foxwoods. We have a
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NAMMY winners tour going out in May
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featuring Joanne Shenandoah, R. Carlos
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Nakai Quartet, John Trudell and Walela.
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More information will be on our
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website shortly.
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http://www.nativeamericanmusic.com
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Nammys (212)
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***U R Tuned 2 KATI***
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*** Radius Radio. ***
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*** 207.12.10.9 on ***
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***your nameserver ***
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Ghost-writer
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Copyright 1999 Michael Boren Williams
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All International Rights Reserved
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Do you recognise all the songs you hear
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Are the melodies slow to leave your ear
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Well I could say the same
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Of course I heard them first
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They came to me in dreams
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Then people stole my work
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I'm a ghostwriter
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Oh
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I'm a ghostwriter
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Oh
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Did you really believe those clowns compose
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Haven't you noticed
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the playback at their shows
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Well they don't want you to hear
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how they really sound
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And they don't want me to be
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anywhere around
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'Cause I'm their ghostwriter
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Oh
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I'm a ghostwriter
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Oh
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Give a little bit of bass
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Watch the seventh and the flat
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Keep the cello where it's at
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No vibrato on the eighth
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Have the girls sing in thirds
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Have the flautists play like birds.
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Now they've hypnotised millions
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with their licks
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Using all of the high-tech studio tricks
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And starving chaps like me
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live in obscurity
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While so-called "super-stars"
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fill the phoney charts
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I'm a ghostwriter
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Oh
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I'm a ghost-writer
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Oh
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Watch the level on the verse
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Catch the echo
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Change the snare
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Put some reverb back in there
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Try to punch in if you can
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Got to tune before you pan
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Load the samples in the box
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Try compressing at the gate
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Bounce the tracks
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It's getting late
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Find the humming in the mix
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Get the chips off of the board
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Now the decibles have soared
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Make it analog to DAT
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Leave the digital alone
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The union freaks are going home
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--- ---- ---
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http://www.williamsmusic.simplenet.com/ghostwriter.mp3
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Rapsong In Blue
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by Tophat Girthman (212)
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Cause a this sound
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I got a feelin it'll scream
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Up the charts.
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This my pseudo
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Intellectual alternative song
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About Pop Tarts.
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Here is a sound
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And I think it'll work.
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20 years a music knowlege
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For this song, I just shirk.
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Everything sucks, everything sucks
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Everything sucks, everything
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Sucks.
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Even my vacuum cleaner.
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We'll kick your assess
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Kick your asses, kick your
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Asses.
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Cause even my bedroom is cleaner.
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MTV sucks, MTV sucks, MTV sucks,
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MTV
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Sucks.
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Even my vacuum cleaner.
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Knows my dog's meaner.
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/\-----/
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/ending/
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/----\-/
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We end ATI 165 with a very short poem
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Needless Things;
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Need Less Things
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send all sendmail to:
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ati@etext.org
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