151 lines
8.3 KiB
Plaintext
151 lines
8.3 KiB
Plaintext
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= F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. =
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An Old Debt
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I am a wanted man. Not in the sense that anyone really wants me, of
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course. I have a few friends who wish me to be around me, but this is
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not to what I am referring. In this meaning of the term, I am wanted by
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the United States government for past misdeeds which it holds against
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me.
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Most, if not all, of the government employees responsible for marking me
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as a wanted man have moved on to other job assignments and new lives. I
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doubt any of them would recognize me if they ran into me on the street.
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Nevertheless, the paperwork remains.
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I have lived these past 15 years in peace. During this time, I have
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lived in a country that is not my own under a name that is not my own.
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These have been prosperous years. My education in the United States and
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my business skills have served me well.
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I am now returning to the United States. This is my first visit to my
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own country since 1981. Although I miss my home greatly, that is not
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the reason for my return. My return to America, at great personal risk,
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is an attempt to partially repay a past debt.
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Fifteen years ago, my partner and I were involved in some shady business
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dealings. Hell, it was outright crime. We took CitiBank for over a
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million dollars, and we got caught. They took John, but I got away. I
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got away because I ran fast and I ran far. I had no one and nothing to
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hold me back. Before they noticed my absence, I was out of the country
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and travelling under a false identity. It cost me quite a bit of money,
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but CitiBank was footing the bill.
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John wasn't so lucky. John couldn't run. John wouldn't run. John had
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a daughter. John loved that little girl more than I've ever loved
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anything in my entire life. John loved that little girl more than I
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have loved everything I have ever loved all put together. John lived
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for that little girl. John stayed put. John stood trial. John stood
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trial for his crimes and for mine.
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John was convicted and sentenced to two consecutive 20 year sentences.
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John couldn't take it. John was never strong that way. Perhaps he
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simply couldn't stand to be apart from his daughter for that long. John
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killed himself in prison.
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John could have taken better care of his daughter had he lived. He
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should have known that. John just couldn't have been thinking that when
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he kicked that chair out from underneath himself. It was less than a
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year into his sentence.
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The little girl was raised by her mother and John never once had custody.
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Her mother left John before the girl was ever born. John would see the
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child only on weekends. She was all he ever talked about. She was his
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life, and when he lost her, he just stopped living.
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The little girl's mother wasn't the best of people. John had loved her.
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John didn't love her anymore. She burned out that love in ways only a
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woman can. I never did understand why she did what she did, and neither
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did John.
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I haven't been a father to the little girl. I've been living in hiding.
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The little girl's mother does not approve of me, and she has little
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reason to. I was part of what John killed. She was a part too,
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although she will never know that.
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I hope she has raised the child well, but I have no reason to believe
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that to be the case. She was never fit to raise a child, but she was
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the only one who was allowed to. Some kids grow up right in spite of
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their parents. I only hope this is one of those kids.
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I've come to America to see this little girl. Only she's not so little
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anymore. She's seventeen and she's in high school. It's in school that
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I will meet her. Well, not in school exactly. I can't risk being
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identified in her school. I can't risk being identified by her mother.
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Nevertheless, I must risk this journey to see the girl.
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My salvation is, as has often been the case, an old friend. I have a
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friend who is a doctor and who is a female. You see, no seventeen year
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old girl in her right mind would allow herself to be approached by a
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lone adult man. My good friend will be there though. She will be
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my ticket to safely speak with John's daughter. Using a simple pretext,
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my friend will arrange for me to meet the girl.
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As soon as we are together, I will come clean. My freedom depends on
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the girl trusting me enough not to scream out. I do not know the girl,
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but I knew the father. I have enough faith in the blood to risk what I
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am risking.
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I do not come to bring the girl money. I do not owe John or his
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daughter any money. I have plenty of money, and I would give it all to
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John's daughter, or anything she needs just as if she were my own daughter.
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But money is not the purpose of my visit. Money is base and dirty and
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money is part of what caused the death of her father.
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I come with a message for the little girl. I come to tell her about her
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father. I come to tell her about his wit, his sensitivity, his love of
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life and his wonderful sense of humor. Most importantly I come to tell
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her about how much he loved her.
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I don't know what the girl's mother told her about John, but I'm certain
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he would have wanted her to know the truth. Her mother was never strong
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on the truth, in fact, I bet she even lies to herself. The little girl
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deserves to know what kind of a man her father really was and how much
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he loved her. If her mother was never able to love her and if no one else
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in her life ever loves her, her father loved her, and she deserves to know
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that.
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I am an old man. I am risking the last years of my life to tell a
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seventeen year old girl how her dead father felt about her. Is it worth
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it? You bet your ass it is.
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*** A work of fiction by the Voyager.
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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
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= Questions, Comments, Bitches, Ideas, Rants, Death Threats, etc etc... =
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= Internet : jericho@dimensional.com (Mail is welcomed) =
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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
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= gote land +27.31.441115 =
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= Arrested Development +31.77.3547477 =
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= Global Chaos +61.2.681.2837 =
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= Chemical Persuasion 203.324.0894 Undrgrnd Indust/Inc. 207.490.2158 =
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= Damnation 212.861.0580 Damnation -Toll Free 888.803.8490 =
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= Hacker's Haven 303.516.9969 Unearthly Shadows 303.683.1443 =
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= E.L.F. (NUP) 314.272.3426 Misery 318.625.4532 =
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= Dungeon Sys. Inc. 410.263.2258 Psykodelik Images -- Down -- =
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= Paradise Lost 414.476.3181 Black SunShine 513.891.3465 =
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= underworld_1995.com 514.683.1894 Digital Fallout 516.378.6640 =
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= PSYCHOSiS 613.836.7211 Bad Trip 615.870.8805 =
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= Plan 9 716.881.3663 suicidal chaos 718.592.1083 =
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= Damaged 801.944.7353 The Death Star Bar 805.872.3151 =
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= Purple Hell 806.791.0747 BloodNet 901.872.8615 =
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= Atrocity Exhibition 905.796.3385 Phoenix Modernz 908.830.8265 =
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= The Keg 914.234.9674 that stupid place 215.985.0462 =
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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
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= Files through Anon FTP FTP.DIMENSIONAL.COM/users/jericho/FUCK =
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= FTP.PRISM.NET/pub/users/mercuri/zines/fuck =
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= FTP.WINTERNET.COM/users/craigb/fuck =
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= FTP.GIGA.OR.AT/pub/hackers/zines/FUCK =
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= ETEXT.ARCHIVE.UMICH.EDU - /pub/Zines/FUCK =
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= FTP.DIMENSIONAL.COM - /users/rage/zines/fuck =
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= Files through WWW: http://www.dimensional.com/~jericho =
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= http://www.prism.net/zineworld/fuck/ =
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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
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= (c) Copyright. All files copyright by the original author =
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(11/25/96)
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