162 lines
7.3 KiB
Plaintext
162 lines
7.3 KiB
Plaintext
==========================================
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The Weekly Something or Rather - Vol 1. #1
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==========================================
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"For those of you who don't get out often,
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and drink too much damn coffee too..."
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NOTE: Not necessarily WEEKLY! (don't ask...)
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December 8, 1994
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I think this world may be a little too overpopulated. Its just
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impossible to come across something new these days. Its all
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variations of things already created. With 250 million people in
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this country, and half of them brushing their teeth regularily,
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there's no way i'll be able to develop a new method of brushing
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that hasn't already been done and thats just fine because maybe the
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old methods are just fine and everyone out there has their own
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little style of brushing even though it may not be as good as
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someone elses but thats okay as long as the job is done right?
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Sort of inspired by James Joyce who actually wrote 57 pages of text
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without one of these ---> . <--- or one of these ---> , <--- or
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even one of these ---> ; <--- and you know that book was Ulysses
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which was a pretty famous book if you ask me. He didn't even use
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PARAGRAPHS or anything like that...However, since i'm more educated
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than that, I prefer to use punctuation and other symbols that most
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people use improperly; for example:....hah hah....This whole
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computer world is blowing my mind. But I really don't want to
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tread on it cause it sort of blows my mind.. Well, anyway. I find
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it sort of astounding how much information one can access in under
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five minutes.
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CAFFEINE. What a beautiful topic. It breathes life into us, it
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makes us work hard when we don't want to, its makes us slow and
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lethargic and makes our hearts beat unsteadily. It even gives us
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headaches when we don't get enough of it. What a pal. So its 3am
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and well, i've got an urge to read more about it. So I ride over
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to the university computer center and make a nice 110kbaud
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connection to the Internet. I type in caffeine and five seconds
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later (its 3am remember) I get a list of 24,000 references to
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caffeine. I connect to a Web site that specializes in caffeine and
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coffee. I download a 60-page text about "making proper coffee
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drinks" and print it out. As its printing, I connect to the
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University of Alabama and view a picture of the computer center's
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coffee machine. Its set to update the picture every five minutes.
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At 4am they had a full pot of what appeared to be pretty strong
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coffee. Next technological breakthrough: SENDING me a cup of that
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coffee. Onward....
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Someone out there is wet-dreaming. The problem lies in people
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utilizing technology thats only in its infant stages. Prime
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Example: Video through the computer. Does it work? Well, did
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anyone see that Rolling Stones broadcast on the Web? What they did
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was have a live concert available to anyone with an Internet
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account, an Mpeg player, and an interest in shitty animation and
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sound. Yes, it was WEAK at best. Ten frames a second (film is 24,
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video is 29.97) playing speed, and the sound, it sounded like a pc-
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speaker through a distortion pedal. So, you ask, why the HELL did
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they do it? Probably to attract more people to their (in my
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opinion) cheesy-washed-up and primarily DEAD brand of "music". Ok,
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calm down. Anyway, real computer dorks don't have time to leave
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their rooms to go out and buy a CD. Incidentally, my connection to
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the Net is through a Sun supercomputer (read: fast). Most people
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watched the stones at 5 frames-per-second; ugh. How can we use
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technology that the inventors themselves are dissatisfied with?
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Who knows. And now after this Cyberpunk this-and-that crap started
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surfacing....: Those virtual-reality games that provide choppy
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vector-animation, pitiful redraws, and worse, lack of even VIRTUAL
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Reality. Everything is so "virtual" these days. Anyone with a
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leather jacket and a PC is a "cyberpunk" and any 35 year-old
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businessman that downloads obscene photos is a "hacker". Before
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you know it, anyone that uses their corporate phone card to make
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business calls is going to be considered a "phreak". Hah hah...Oh
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whatever...Next...
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The media plays the computer public like a bunch of idiots. How
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many times have you come across an article about "technology" or
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the (gasp) "Information Superhighway" that pissed you off? I'd bet
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a million bucks at least once. The media really has us by the
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balls. There are more computer illiterates out there than
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literates, and when the media (who really doesn't know shit about
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computers) starts addressing topics, it just gets more confusing.
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No point here except that we're all chumps and I hate Time
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magazine. Hats off to Wired though, they're alright.
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Ok, where was I? Oh yeah, its like trying deliver a baby thats
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only five months ready. Sure, you can do it, but the baby isn't
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going to work right. Woah, bad analogy. Deadlines, Deadlines,
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must type stuff. We shouldn't introduce things to the public until
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they WORK. We have such a bad reputation for releasing things too
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early. Whether its babies (?), cars (that accelerate whenever), or
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green tomatoes (again, ?), we push things to get them out and prey
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the money pours in. Microsoft Windows, now here's a good example.
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It was released four years ago and it still sucks. Can't anyone
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fix these General Protection errors? Shit. So when you release a
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video card thats (in THEORY!) 16.8 million colors, you should also
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have a human that can SEE that many ready to be marketed. Yeah,
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16.8 million shades of red, green, and blue. So whatever company
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invented that virtual-reality game must have test-marketed it along
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with a punchbowl full of acid. Cause the only way anyone is going
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to believe that crap is if they're tripping. I digress. (You're
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welcome...)
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Next on the agenda....Why are feds knocking at my door? Guess I
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should lower the wattage of my transmitter.
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Next Issue: A lot of text with no particular relevance to
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anything.
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Week of December 8th -- Places I like to visit.
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-----------------------------------------------
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1. University of Cologne -
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http://www.rrz.unikoeln.de/themen/graphik
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For all those Mpeg enthusiasts, this place has got a bunch of
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really cool animations; REALLY cool. It also has lists of other
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places to get animations. I think you can gopher to it.
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2. (A coffee site) -
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http://www.infonet.net/showcase/coffee
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From here, there is nothing you can't find on coffee and caffeine.
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I'm not kidding. This site is awesome.
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3. University of Illinois - Weather Computer
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gopher://wx.atmos.uiuc.edu
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They're currently installing a web site which you can use, but its
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still under construction. Once its up, this will be the coolest
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place on earth to check weather. The web site offers 24-hour
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continuous weather animations of the whole earth. So Web to it if
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you can. Hey, its better than watching tv.
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4. Electronic Frontier Foundation -
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gopher://gopher.eff.org (or Web to it)
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The coolest site in the whole world.
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=================================================
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You know what I hate? People overusing Disclaimers.
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I'm convinced its an ego thing. What am I saying?
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Copy, print, edit, re-edit, re-re-edit, encrypt, decrypt,
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burn, erase, eat, or do whatever with this file that
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you want; I DON'T CARE!
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=================================================
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Until next time --- Alex Swain (swain@enigma.rider.edu)
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--END--
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