181 lines
8.8 KiB
Plaintext
181 lines
8.8 KiB
Plaintext
WARNING: This article contains spoiler information regarding this week's TNG
|
|
episode, "Disaster". Those not wanting the "disaster" of having the plot
|
|
spoiled for them are advised to depart.
|
|
|
|
You *must* be kidding.
|
|
|
|
Er...exactly whose idea was this story? And can we please bar them from the
|
|
Paramount lot?
|
|
|
|
Well...it wasn't quite THAT bad--but good gods, it wasn't good. More after a
|
|
synopsis:
|
|
|
|
The Enterprise is between missions and is struck by a quantum filament,
|
|
trapping everyone more or less where they are, killing intraship
|
|
communications, and knocking out primary life support and the warp engines.
|
|
Picard, trapped in a turbolift with three elementary school children, is
|
|
injured when the lift first falls. Meanwhile, on the bridge, the three
|
|
relevant characters are O'Brien, Ensign Ro, and Troi, who as the senior
|
|
officer is placed in command. In Ten-Forward, Worf is left to take care of
|
|
the wounded (and a very pregnant Keiko O'Brien) while Riker and Data head
|
|
through a crawlway to try to get to Engineering. Finally, Bev and Geordi are
|
|
trapped in a shuttle bay--and a plasma fire is spewing radiation into the bay,
|
|
threatening both the people and some canisters of chemicals, which are likely
|
|
to explode.
|
|
|
|
Riker and Data end up with their retreat cut off by a coolant leak and their
|
|
advance stopped by a huge current arc. Data volunteers to use his
|
|
(non-conducting) body to block the circuit, claiming that his head will
|
|
survive and can be detached for use in Engineering. Riker, having no other
|
|
options, approves. While Picard tries to get the children working together to
|
|
get them all out of the lift, Ro manages to power up the Engineering console
|
|
and finds that the warp containment field is slowly failing, which will
|
|
eventually lead to the entire ship exploding.
|
|
|
|
Once the lift's hatch is open (and the children refuse to leave the injured
|
|
Picard behind), the group begins working on ways to leave and climb up to an
|
|
open deck. Meanwhile, Bev and Geordi decide the only way to both keep the
|
|
chemicals safe and put out the plasma fire is to depressurize the shuttle bay.
|
|
And, as if things weren't bad enough, Keiko suddenly goes into labor.
|
|
|
|
While Troi decides not to follow Ro's advice (namely, to separate the saucer
|
|
and get the hell away from the warp engines, assuming there's no one left
|
|
alive in the drive section) and sends enough power down to Engineering so that
|
|
anyone there can at least realize there's a problem, Picard and the children
|
|
leave the lift (just in time, as its emergency clamps fail and it falls) and
|
|
begin climbing to a door that will open. Bev and Geordi depressurize the bay,
|
|
putting out the fire, and Bev manages to repressurize it just in time.
|
|
|
|
Riker and Data's head reach Engineering and manage to restore the containment
|
|
field just before it collapses, Picard and the kids make it to an open deck,
|
|
and a very inexperienced Worf manages to successfully deliver Keiko's
|
|
daughter. Later, once everything is running smoothly again, the children give
|
|
Picard a commemorative plaque to thank him for all his help.
|
|
|
|
That's it, folks. That's all she wrote. Now, for some rantings:
|
|
|
|
My opinion can mostly be summarized by the following two thoughts I had early
|
|
in the show:
|
|
|
|
1) "Didn't Battlestar Galactica have an episode a lot like this?"
|
|
2) "My God, Battlestar Galactica did it better, too."
|
|
|
|
And no, that's not meant to be high praise. :-)
|
|
|
|
I don't know who decided they wanted to put the Enterprise into a Towering
|
|
Inferno/Poseidon Adventure/insert your disaster movie here scenario, but it
|
|
wasn't particularly well thought out--either the premise or the execution.
|
|
Here, off the top of my head, are a number of objections:
|
|
|
|
--The Enterprise is so poorly designed that there aren't any *manual backups
|
|
or overrides* for the many different "failsafe devices to be used in case of
|
|
emergency" situations? Yeah, right.
|
|
|
|
--There is only ONE place in the entire shuttle bay where one can repressurize
|
|
the bay? Even if true, it's also NOT the main console in the bay, which is
|
|
supposed to be multipurposeful? Yep. Sure.
|
|
|
|
--Troi is a Starfleet officer, yet doesn't appear to know anything about
|
|
ANY emergency procedure, including "what happens if the antimatter containment
|
|
fails"? Just how daft IS this woman?
|
|
|
|
--There's only ONE sickbay in a ship this large with a complement of over a
|
|
thousand people?
|
|
|
|
--Data, who by his own statements has pores and chemical nutrients running
|
|
through his body, is completely nonconducting? Puh-leeze.
|
|
|
|
--Data's head is completely self-contained? Soong was one weird puppy.
|
|
|
|
--Data appears to have access to the information about the containment field,
|
|
yet doesn't notice initially that the damn thing's failing?
|
|
|
|
--So, lots of chemicals that are unstable around radiation are just sitting
|
|
around in the shuttle bay, where shuttle engines and tractor beams are active
|
|
on a consistent basis. Good planning there, guys.
|
|
|
|
--An electric shock can screw up the containment fields? This is not a ship
|
|
on which I would want to serve.
|
|
|
|
--Troi, O'Brien, and Ensign Etcetera don't think to look at the lieutenant
|
|
who's lying there BLEEDING in the middle of the bridge for a couple of
|
|
minutes?
|
|
|
|
I could go on, but I think you get the picture. Virtually nothing about this
|
|
plot held together in any way.
|
|
|
|
What's more, many of the performances didn't attract me overmuch. Stewart's
|
|
was watchable (it rarely is anything else), but far from magnificent.
|
|
Michelle Forbes was probably the strong point this time (one of the show's few
|
|
bright points was that Ro *hasn't* lost her combative edge, although that was
|
|
blunted by her apologizing at the end when her advice was completely on the
|
|
ball and warranted). Dorn's was awful (or rather, the main thing about his
|
|
acting that impressed me this time through was that he managed to keep a
|
|
straight face through the whole thing!). (Actually, the other reasonably good
|
|
performance came from Erika Flores, the girl who played Marissa. The other
|
|
two kids were a total loss, but she's got potential.)
|
|
|
|
Speaking of Michael Dorn...my own notes for the synopsis simply said towards
|
|
the end, "Keiko gives birth after Worf has a lot of lame one-liners." "You
|
|
may now give birth," indeed. I could swallow that coming from Data, just.
|
|
But not Worf--let's be serious here. "This is not a good time, Keiko"--that's
|
|
bad sitcom talk, not drama (or even humor). Worf's problems with the delivery
|
|
were all right, but they were handled miserably. This is probably the biggest
|
|
slap in the face of Worf's characterization since "Qpid".
|
|
|
|
(Even the FX had problems--the shuttle bay depressurization looked miserable,
|
|
as did the "shaking" FX when the lift finally fell. They've done so much
|
|
better...)
|
|
|
|
However, it wasn't a complete loss. There were two sequences which had me
|
|
interested, if amused. The first was Bev trying to coax Geordi into singing
|
|
Gilbert & Sullivan in public. It's a bit silly, but it is *completely,
|
|
completely* in line with Bev's past actions, and I found it hilarious. The
|
|
second was Troi's parting shot to Riker: "I don't think I'm cut out to be
|
|
Captain. First officer, maybe--I understand there aren't many
|
|
qualifications." OUCH. Very enjoyable. :-)
|
|
|
|
If you're reading this before seeing the show, I suggest you watch this in a
|
|
"Mystery Science Theater 3000" style--mock it mercilessly and take no
|
|
prisoners whatsoever. I and those watching with me decided to do that early
|
|
on, and it worked nicely. Some examples:
|
|
|
|
(as Worf is left in charge of the injured): "Klingons EAT their wounded."
|
|
|
|
(Keiko explaining that not all births are as easy as the simulation Worf
|
|
worked): "For example, this one's an Alien [TM] baby--rrrrragggghh!"
|
|
|
|
(The kids refuse to leave Picard behind): "This is mutiny, Mr. Queeg!" [said
|
|
in as much of a Red Dwarf-Holly-like voice as possible]
|
|
|
|
(Picard and the kids finally make it onto a deck): "Whoops, another quake.
|
|
Back down you go!"
|
|
|
|
And so it goes.
|
|
|
|
This is something you can probably have fun with if you realize immediately
|
|
that it's a complete no-brainer and treat it accordingly, but if you try to
|
|
take it seriously you'll be hideously disappointed. Be warned.
|
|
|
|
So, the numbers:
|
|
|
|
Plot: 1. Old, tired and ridden with holes--and those are its good points.
|
|
Plot Handling: 1. It didn't flow all that well either.
|
|
Characterization: 4. Mostly unspectacular, and occasionally downright bad.
|
|
|
|
TOTAL: 2. Not good, folks. Not good.
|
|
|
|
NEXT WEEK:
|
|
|
|
Wesley vs. the Addictive Game from Hell. We shall see...
|
|
|
|
Tim Lynch (Cornell's first Astronomy B.A.; one of many Caltech grad students)
|
|
BITNET: tlynch@citjuliet
|
|
INTERNET: tlynch@juliet.caltech.edu
|
|
UUCP: ...!ucbvax!tlynch%juliet.caltech.edu@hamlet.caltech.edu
|
|
"Liddell, he is your future king. Does your arrogance extend that far?"
|
|
"My arrogance, sir, extends just as far as my conscience demands."
|
|
--"Chariots of Fire"
|
|
--
|
|
Copyright 1991, Timothy W. Lynch. All rights reserved, but feel free to ask...
|